I have been divorced for a year and am in my late 50s. After about 6 months of separation I began seeing a woman I worked with for several years. She was over 20 years younger than me. It was very exciting for both of us. Very passionate. We were careful to take precautions so she wouldn't get pregnant. We're currently not seeing each other and I don't know if we ever will, but hopefully I'll begin dating other women. While dating an older woman is fine, I could potentially find myself sexually involved with a woman still able to get pregnant. I definitely wouldn't want that to happen. My question is should I get a vasectomy on the chance that I may become involved with someone able to have children or even my former girlfriend? Would I be having unnecessary surgery? Would possible risks make it worth doing?

I really think that Yes is the answer, but this would be a really personal decision and should be made after a lot of serious thought. I did it many years ago and have Never regretted it. I'm in my mid 50's as well, have three (now adult) children... and a 36 year old girlfriend. So I know what you're talking about here. Again, I would say yes - and one reason is the question of birth control. I would never want to be a father at this age.
These are all personal opinions.

That is a personal decision for you to make. If you are 100% sure that you never want to have another child and even if some woman you may date or marry in the future would want one with you and you know for a fact that it is not something that you would even negotiate, then yes go for it as a personal choice. Just be sure before you do it because many women these days are waiting until later to have children and you never know how you may feel about things if you were in love with a woman who wanted a child in the future. It seems like having a vasectomy should be something you would agree on as a couple (since you are planning to be a part of a couple again). Or another option is to let women of childbearing age that you date know fairly early on that you don't want any more children before things get too serious. But this is just my opinion as a woman. AltaVista also gave another great opinion from his perspective. But do what is right for you and your future. I am not sure how successful a reversal of a vasectomy can be if you were to change your mind. I don't know the statistics off hand.

If your sure about not making babies do it.

If you don't want children, why wouldn't you?

The idea of getting cut on doesn't thrill me. As with any surgery there are risks and I don't know if I should do it considering that it might not even be necessary. I have an appointment/consultation with a urologist in a couple of weeks.

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Originally Posted by SouthernBelle06

That is a personal decision for you to make. If you are 100% sure that you never want to have another child and even if some woman you may date or marry in the future would want one with you and you know for a fact that it is not something that you would even negotiate, then yes go for it as a personal choice. Just be sure before you do it because many women these days are waiting until later to have children and you never know how you may feel about things if you were in love with a woman who wanted a child in the future. It seems like having a vasectomy should be something you would agree on as a couple (since you are planning to be a part of a couple again). Or another option is to let women of childbearing age that you date know fairly early on that you don't want any more children before things get too serious. But this is just my opinion as a woman. AltaVista also gave another great opinion from his perspective. But do what is right for you and your future. I am not sure how successful a reversal of a vasectomy can be if you were to change your mind. I don't know the statistics off hand.

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This is a very good answer.

I agree with being totally honest with any woman I might become interested in. Definitely important to be on the "same page" about things. I'd never consider anything else.

Another thought. I've been told by friends that some women, for obvious reasons, like knowing that a man has had a vasectomy. They don't want to have children either. I'd be interested in what other ladies think about this.

If a woman already has all the children that she wants and definitely doesn't want any more, then yes she would like that he had a vasectomy. If she is interested in having more, then no she wouldn't like it. It's that simple.

Go for it ramblinguy, it's one of the best things I've ever done. The procedure is very minor (2 tiny incisions with 2 stitches) and there are very few things that could go wrong.

Make sure you do it for you and not the woman you are with at the time.
I was with my ex for going on 6 years, we had a son, then I lost the next baby,my partner at the time told me he wanted to get the snip,he said he couldn't go through the possibility of losing another baby.
After he had it done he started to resent ME for MAKING him do it,and now that we are not together he hates me with a passion,he blames me for the fact he can never have more children with someone else as he was under the impression we were going to be together forever. I have always felt bad, but I also know it wasn't my decision, it was his, and he made it.
My partner now on the other hand, has ALWAYS known he never wants children of his own, he has never had the maternal instincts or feelings, and he himself brought up the snip a couple of weeks ago... I told him it is his choice to make.
I think in your situation the best thing would be to do it, although there is the pill, it is entirely up to you.