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    jshrckstar's Avatar
    jshrckstar Posts: 58, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #41

    Jan 27, 2008, 08:54 PM
    I know, Im sorry Talaniman. I know your trying to help, and I know that Im not thinking clearly at this point. Sometimes it just seems that no thought is really given to my situation and the easiest answer to come up with is to say don't contact her. However, in my situation its hard. She didn't say that we are broken up, and says she just needs time. I understand that. She doesn't want me to give up on her, or us, and she's made that clear. If she had said that we were broken up, I would read through all of the posts here, and do what I did to get over my last relationship. It would be far easier! Don't you think? I know she needs space, and I am giving it to her, just as she asked. As much as its killing me, Im doing it, and I feel bad for doing it? I guess Im concerned with the uncertainty of the whole situation. Its uncomfortable sitting around and waiting for what I think will be a goodbye. I know I can choose not to put myself through that by just saying goodbye to her and calling it a day. But the fact is that I want to be with her, and I can't give up on something that hasn't ended yet. Do you see where I am coming from?
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member
     
    #42

    Jan 27, 2008, 11:05 PM
    I give up.

    Be her butler.

    When she's thrown you to the curb after she's realized that you are just her girlfriend, don't come back asking why.

    Time for me to unsubscribe from this thread.

    Sucks to be you. Most of us have been there before, but you need to learn this lesson on your own. Get ready for some pain, buddy.

    Sucks to be you. I am done trying to save you from the inevitable.
    confused25's Avatar
    confused25 Posts: 319, Reputation: 98
    Full Member
     
    #43

    Jan 27, 2008, 11:56 PM
    All right take a step back and breath for a second. Now relax and listen to what everyone is telling you with an open and objective ear.

    See the problem is that you think your situation is different. You feel, and understandably so, that because there was no official end to the relationship that you still need and should work at trying to keep this girl in your life. You feel that if you just work hard enough things will turn out well and you'll both live happily ever after. The problem is that your situation is no different from what many other people on this site have been through.

    OK so you two have not broken up, we get that. However, that really doesn't change anything. If there is any hope of you two continuing this relationship then this girl needs to learn to appreciate your presence in her life and the only way to do that is for her to miss you. So you need to cut out as much contact with her as possible in order for this to occur. How do you think she will ever learn to miss you if you are always there for her every beck and call. Think about it.
    rocker550's Avatar
    rocker550 Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #44

    Jul 28, 2008, 08:30 AM
    It could be that she doesn't want you to know she's talking to him because she doesn't want you to get the wrong idea. A strong relationship involves communication- definitely talk to her
    ivanmarzol1's Avatar
    ivanmarzol1 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #45

    Aug 11, 2009, 03:59 PM
    I forgave my girlfriend from having been talking to the ex in secret for three months. That happened 6 months ago. Back then, she said she really wanted to be her whole life with me and that she didn't tell me so I don't think anything wrong, but after more questioning, she accepted he had given her a kiss, and hadn't do anything about it. She said she had a weakness and liked to see him after her because she had suffered a lot for him in the past. But that, besides that kiss, nothing else happened and that she just talked to him as a friend and avoided any "romantic" thing from him. Well, as I said, I forgave her and we had a great time together since then. She did stop talking to him. But... two weeks ago, I realized she had texted him, and since then they had some kind a brief text communication every day. When I confronted her, she first denied it, but had to confess because I had the proof. Then she got very defensive and explained how she had just felt she had been to tough with him months ago when she asked him not to text her anymore and wanted to let the friendship in good standing. She said that their communication was very naïve, such as "how are you" "fine" "I'm glad you are not angry", etc. She said She loved me and wanted me to trust her and that she wants to be with me the rest of her life. I have to add she is a good girlfriend in other areas, she is pleasing, she cooks, washes clothes, cleans my apartment for me (we don't live together, but spend most of our free time together, she just doesn't sleep in my apartment) she is funny, a good company, flexible, and very affectionate. It is hard for me to break up with her, because she gives me so much. So, now that she lied again, I don't know whether I should leave her, or if this corresponds to her age, she is just 20. Any advice?
    billybob4213's Avatar
    billybob4213 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #46

    Jun 22, 2010, 10:21 AM
    It's a tough choice , I tried to break up with mine but I couldn't get over her and went back to her, she treats me like but I love her and don't want to lose her, and I think about breaking up with her a lot but when we aren't together it hurts too much to forget her or even get over her :(

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