Enigmanetic Im 31. I don't know about being a hero or anything... im just trying to find a little bit of peace of mind. I probably should be trying to make my life less complicated and focus on the things that will make me whole again. Im not sure if hanging with these woman will do that but it feels good to smile... have fun... good conversation... and to flirt a little.
I know that the process I'm going through is going to take a long time. Its only really been since end of September that my ex and I broke up. She was my life. I honestly, in my heart, thought I had found the one. I had given everything I could possibly give. I would have done anything for us. But she picked the one thing I could never be or do.
I wish her the best and honestly, though I can't be the one to make her happy, I hope she finds it. The hard part is that I am left with all these feelings and memories. They are my highs and lows. It will take time for the hurt to fade. She really was my idea of the perfect woman. Had everything I ever wanted. Funny how things work out that way. You find the one and spend 7 years together only to find out that though it is perfect, she can't be with you because she is gay.
Life goes on. Take it day by day. Fighting those little battles inside that make you stronger. Remember your accomplishments and the strength you do have. In time... you do heal. In time you will smile without effort. In time... you move on.
Here is an exsert from the writings of Max Ehramann's Desiderata.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
It is a wonderful writing I recommend you read it here
Max Ehrmann's "Desiderata"