Look, if you really want this guy back, make sure you do and you won't let go again. The worst thing you could do is pull him back in your life after he had to endure the pain of it all just to push him back out again.

OK, I’m probably going to get my head kicked for this, but I have no choice but to make a statement here about some of the advice on this thread, and most of the other ones, and I think you may doing 20082008 a disservice. I hope I can explain what I mean clearly.

Too many people are saying and believe that all break-ups are a good thing. Please stop it. There are times, and A LOT of times that the break-up was a mistake. This is separate from whether the dumpee should hold on to hope, or the dumper should move on because the person they dumped has moved on. 20082008 was the dumper, OK. That does not mean it was a good idea.
I think I will scream if hear one more person say, “remember why you broke up, it was probably a good reason.” Are you kidding me? People make decisions that are bad all the time. You have to allow for the fact that often times the break-up had nothing to do with the ex, or anything in the relationship. People break up because of miscommunication, fear, insecurity, etc. 20082008 if you made a mistake, and your ex has now moved on, then everyone is right you have to leave it alone I geuss. But don’t automatically believe the reason you left was a good one, because that thought could hurt your next relationship. And that’s my message here. Dumpers do make mistakes. They do dump people they should not have. Dumpers many times are not better off, because the reason they dumped the person may have been wrong. Take the classic reason, “the grass is greener elsewhere.” They go and find out, nah, it really isn’t, and now they wish to correct their mistake. Now whether the dumpee should take them back is one conversation, but to say, “hey you dumped him for a reason and it was a good one.” Seems like a stretch to me.

Of course we make bad decisions. But we can't go in the past. And we can only learn from what we did. It's possible it was a total mistake; too late now, move on and learn from it. But then again, it's possible that it wasn't a mistake; good, keep moving on and stay strong. But which would you rather it be? Remembering the reason you broke up has a purpose; it shows you that, yeah, it wasn't as great as you remember it. So you're right, it's possible that it was a mistake, but it's possible for it not to be too. But it's obvious now that there's very little chance of them getting back together, and the OPer should stay strong now.

Whether your reason for getting out of a relationship is a good one or not makes no real difference.

The big issue is what that decision does to the partner. You can't always go back, and correct a mistake after you have caused them misery, and pain, and you can't expect them to just forgive, and forget either.

That's what taking responsibility for your actions is all about. Pay the consequences for that mistake, and learn from it. To do otherwise is pretty selfish.

I agree. Which is why my own situation has been so harrowing for me. I know that when zi let go, and just move on the pain I'm going through now, and will later on, would keep me from being able to forgive my ex. It's why I wanted so bad to save it now, when I was still in the emotional space to be willing to let it go.

People make mistakes all the time, most people regret several choices they make on a daily basis. If you can look back and honestly remember being a good boyfriend or girlfriend there is nothing more you can do. Your ex will realize that what he or she has done was a mistake and will regret it. Turn everything you can into a positive, work on yourself and better your next relationship to prevent anything of this nature to ever happen again. Stop contacting them and try to go out and meet new people. It will allow your mind to realize there are other people out there who care for you and can make your life more enjoyable. If they broke up with you and want to move on let them, odds are they will come running back when they realize what they left, if not it was not worth it. Let them have there space and give them time to think about what they have done. Chasing them will prevent them from coming back and will push them farther. When people are chased they feel superior and know they can have you back at anytime. People want what they can no longer have. Move on with your life, occupy yourself. It gets better I promise.