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vamp7730 · Nov 13, 2010, 03:32 AM

EDITED FOR CHAT SPEAK

Ummm... I'm going through the worst time of my life... there's this guy I really really love... we are texting each other 24/7.. but he told me once that he's committed to someone else... he never talks about her to me... at the same time he;s very very intimate with me... that got me even more involved with him... but still at times he mentions that other girl who he's committed to... I don't understand what he wants... he's calling our relationship just friends but its really not that... at times he's so deeply attached to me and at times he pretends he doesn't even know me... please help me out... I'm really really in trouble...

gara · Nov 13, 2010, 03:43 AM

Before I answer you back , I'm finding difficult reading your english typing , but I under stand what you mean , I will tell you one thing , leave him , he is just player wasting the time on you , this not the real love and there is future after it , it's just guy who got bored and he found you like fish in the pool , delete his number and text messages , and tell him to **** off , let me tell you in other way , he is a player , just plays with girls , don't attaché yourself to him , a real man , he will be the one who will come to you , and tell you his feelings , not form talking to you through text message , he have mouth and he is human just like you , what is the thing doesn't making him not telling you his feelings , and one other thing if he started already talking about another girl , he showed you his face already , he is player , please , coutinue your life.

vamp7730 · Nov 14, 2010, 05:26 AM

Maybe you are right but he never said that he loves or he has any sort of commitment with me.. but I'm quite sure he knows I have feelings for him.. inspite of that he's with me all the time texting and evrything... but there's no name to our relationship and at times he even says that will you invite me to your marriage and that I pray you get a good husband and everything... what do I do

J_9 · Nov 14, 2010, 05:29 AM

Originally Posted by vamp7730

ummm......im going thru the worst tym of my life.....dres dis guy i really really love...we r texting each other 24/7..but he told me once dat hes comitted to sm1 else...he never talks about her to me...at the same tymm hes very very intimate wid me...that got me even more involved with him.....but still at tyms he mentions that other girl who he's comitted to...ii dnt understandd wt he wants....hes koling our relationship just frnds but its really not that...at tyms hes so deeply attached to me n at tyms he pretends he dznt even knw me...please help me out...im reallly reallly in trouble...

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vamp7730 · Dec 5, 2010, 02:33 AM

Please help me in this somebody because I am very depressed and in a very very tough situation

gara · Dec 5, 2010, 02:41 AM

I post at you look above and stop complaining

kaka67 · Dec 5, 2010, 03:00 AM

Originally Posted by vamp7730

please help me in this somebody because i am very depressed and in a very very tough situation

Leave him. He is using you, can't you see that?

Its not a very, very tough situation at all if you watch his actions and don't listen to the sweet crap that comes out of his mouth.

You continue this CHEATING relationship knowing where you stand with him and then expect to get something different? Im sorry its not going to happen.

If someone wants to be with you then they will be with you.

vamp7730 · Jan 12, 2011, 12:17 PM

Is there no way at all that I can make him mine?? I really won't be able to live without him

kaka67 · Jan 12, 2011, 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by vamp7730

is there no way at all that i can make him mine???i really wont be able to live without him

Why would you want to make him yours? He manipulating you and your falling for it.

Yes you will live without him. Your alive now aren't you?

Get a life for yourself that doesn't include him.

I wish · Jan 12, 2011, 02:11 PM

I understand that it's very difficult to accept reality, but you can't force him to be with you and he's not worth it anyway.

The best thing you can do is 100% no contact. Check out the links in my signature for the no contact related threads.

jmjoseph · Jan 12, 2011, 02:21 PM

I understand completely why he's acting this way. He's using you as a sex toy, a placebo for the "committed" girl.

He wants you when she's not around, and doesn't even know you when she is.

Ask yourself why you allow someone to use you with total disregard for your feelings.

The world is full of guys that have no "commitment".

Tell him that you're not available for the "very intimate" activity, and see how he responds.

PLUS, he's a cheater.

Someone who will cheat WITH you will cheat ON you.

Good luck to you.

No one deserves to be made to feel like trash. He should be ashamed of himself.

talaniman · Jan 12, 2011, 06:34 PM

he's calling our relationship just friends but its really not that

You are in love, he is not. You are ignoring the very obvious here and that's the whole point. You are in denial, you want what you can't have and the only thing to do is stop all that 24/7 texting crap and stop being so available and putting your heart out to be broken. You really do need a life without him, a real one with friends and activities. This isn't even a good friendship because you want something he can't give you so you better learn to let this idea of him being yours go, as you are only his text buddy, nothing else.

You have let your feelings get you carried away, and that has to be miserable. Stop it!!

vamp7730 · Jan 30, 2011, 03:32 AM

Hey everyone... thanks a lot for the help.. it really meant a lot.. I have started avoiding him but now he's asking me why I'm avoiding and why I am not talking to him and that is giving me a false hope that maybe if I stayed he would fall in love with me

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vamp7730 · Jan 30, 2011, 04:22 AM

Threads merged

I already asked a question about the situation I am but my life has turned completely now, for me.. the guy I thought I was in love with and who had already told me that he was committed with someone else, but I couldn't help falling for him as we were 24/7 contact with each other... and then a few days back I told him that I wasn't comfortable with his being committed to the girl and at the same time talking to me... and I myself suggested that I stay away from him as I couldn't help being emotionally dependent on him.. and he let me go.. he told me that we should keep away now.. and I tried to not contact him but I couldn't keep away even for a day.. and I started talking to him again.. I can't forget the time we spent together... please take me out of this situation.. I feel as if the whole world is ending for me..

redhed35 · Jan 30, 2011, 04:30 AM

You made a decision to walk away, but now your backtracking.

Delete his number and all ways to contact him, get busy in your own life, school, work, or whatever it is you do.

All your doing now is being needy... do you want to do the needy girl? NO!

Delete his number and stick to your guns.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 30, 2011, 06:51 AM

He has made it clear, he has someone else, and you need to accept this and not interfere. Move on, go to no contact, it is hard but it needs to be done

vamp7730 · Jan 30, 2011, 08:08 AM

I don't know but I have this little hope somewhere that maybe someday he will come to me abd be mine... I have tried many times but I can't get him out of my mind... should I tell him again that I don't want to be with him or just without telling him I should break contact? He is my class fellow too, I have to face him in college everyday after my holidays finish...

joypulv · Jan 30, 2011, 08:15 AM

Back in early December you wanted to know how to 'make him yours.' That is an indication that you are going to have an extra tough time (who among us hasn't had a tough time over love?) accepting that he ISN'T going to drop the main woman in his life. No one 'makes' anyone love them or do anything they don't want to do. In fact, desperate love is the surest way to drive someone away.

You tried calling his bluff by saying you were stopping communication - and he said OK, go! Do you want to demean yourself further? The healthy tact to take now is to say he is awful for dragging you into this. Be ANGRY; it helps heal. You have to beat down the 'love' and hurt and force yourself to say He's No Good, no good, no %$#@*_)*^%% good.

vamp7730 · Jan 30, 2011, 08:24 AM

I have tried and tried and tried.. its been 3 years now that I am in this situation but I just don't seem to accept the fact that he has no soft feelings for me... I broke contact with him for one year but there wasn't one day that I didn't miss him and then I started it all again...

talaniman · Jan 30, 2011, 09:18 AM

You either accept your own decision to quit having hope he will be yours and cut the contact, or be miserable. How old are you both, and why can't you tell him to leave you alone and you want nothing to do with him?

You seem to be your own worst enemy here. Read the stickies and go NO Contact, and do a proper healing.