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    My muslim fiancé thinks Im a virgin.

    Asked Jan 2, 2009, 11:48 PM — 106 Answers
    I'm getting marry in a month I'm Muslim and my fiancé is Muslim too. Our marriage has been arrange by parents. The problem is that I'm not a virgin and I'm scared on my wedding night is future husband is going to realized that I'm not a virgin!! What should I do?? I don't know what to do because he just came from a Muslim country and if I tell him he would not understand!. please and advise of any kind.. I'm in danger

    Last edited by talaniman; Jan 3, 2009 at 07:16 AM.
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    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
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    #101

    Apr 1, 2009, 09:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Arianna26 View Post
    No, I don't agree with Iawanwadee, but again why would u have sex, when your religon says "not until marriage"....most people are really forgetting their roots...where they came from...just to be "westernized"..come on suck it up princess....now u need help with wht U DID!!...u need to tell him.....and your family....for the stupid choice u made...and I wouldn't goooo so overboard with your in danger......your family may not talk to u for a long time, and u may disgrace your family name...but come on ...u knew all this when u had sex...but yes with living in north america there are laws to protect u and me...from crazy people...maybe now u can think more clearly in your choice making, I'm sorry to say :(....God bless

    Ws Salaam.....
    That was a very judgemental answer you gave there, for your first post on this site! There was no need for name calling, and this is against site rules had you read them. This is not about trying to guilt her to death. I will not give you a disagree at this point, but please read the site rules and regs before answering. Also note that this question is 3 months old, and the OP is likely already married.

    EDIT: Proper English is also appreciated! "U" is spelled "YOU"
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    Dare81's Avatar
    Dare81 Posts: 264, Reputation: 44
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    #102

    Apr 2, 2009, 12:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Arianna26 View Post
    No, I don't agree with Iawanwadee, but again why would u have sex, when your religon says "not until marriage"....most people are really forgetting their roots...where they came from...just to be "westernized"..come on suck it up princess....now u need help with wht U DID!!...u need to tell him.....and your family....for the stupid choice u made...and I wouldn't goooo so overboard with your in danger......your family may not talk to u for a long time, and u may disgrace your family name...but come on ...u knew all this when u had sex...but yes with living in north america there are laws to protect u and me...from crazy people...maybe now u can think more clearly in your choice making, I'm sorry to say :(....God bless

    Ws Salaam.....
    The one with no sin cast the first stone.How do you know she is forgetting her roots maybe her roots are in the western world? You are quick to judge her, I am sure you don't act like a sahabi but you want her to act like sahabia.If you can't say anything useful don't say anything at all.

    Ws Salam
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    Arianna26's Avatar
    Arianna26 Posts: 7, Reputation: -1
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    #103

    Apr 2, 2009, 02:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Dare81 View Post
    The one with no sin cast the first stone.How do you know she is forgetting her roots maybe her roots are in the western world??You are quick to judge her, i am sure you don't act like a sahabi but you want her to act like sahabia.If you can't say anything useful don't say anything at all.

    Ws Salam

    Look who is talking... how do u know that she hasn't forgetting her roots?. It's a staright forward answer, it doesn't matter where u live in the world.. a muslim is a muslim... u go by what u are brought up as a child, therefore the values u learned in koran school, sticks with u. I mean everyone's not prefect, people lie and do other , but in her case she did the worst thing possible... and now there's no way of going back, it's done... u can't re-constrict a new vagina, so u can be a virgin again, god come on she should be thanking god that she didn't catch aids,STDS,'Herpes,Chlamydia,Gonorrhoea,Syphilis,Ge nital Warts,Hepatitis B,Hepatitis C; not to forget oral sex and anal sex, and how u can catch all types of painfully and dirty diseases from that... so therefore either way, on her case, the truth will come out... and both ways have really bad endings.. and whtever u mean by a "Sahabi or Sahabia"... I don't understand what your talking about... and furthermore this may not be good advise for u, but hey this is damn good advise for so many other girls, who are put on the pressure of "it's cool to be sexual active".. I mean come on... it's also cool to live a long and happy live without sexually tranmitted disease, because once u got any of those, it stays with u, and if u don't get it treated, u can pass it to partner, to partner. I mean soon it's going to be like a really sick family tree, with all the people that got infected by u. This is the other point of view... of why it's not the greatest idea too have sex before your married, and if for those who are sexual active use protection; and let your parents know that u are, I know I know... it's going to be really hard, but come on they have a right to know. That and so your not twisted into an arranged marriage, and then it's going to be a hugh shock to your family and tooo the grooms family too.
    In other words your parents will at least have the time to make up an excuse,to save face.

    God bless :)
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    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #104

    Apr 2, 2009, 02:06 PM

    I think you have been asked before "u" is spelled "you" we do not allow text speak on this website, please use proper English.
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    Dare81's Avatar
    Dare81 Posts: 264, Reputation: 44
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    #105

    Apr 2, 2009, 02:17 PM

    Sahaba are prophets, shabiat is the female version of it.It does not matter a Muslim is a Muslim.That is pretty close minded.Go look at Muslims in India and then go look at them in turkey and then you can tell me they are all the same.

    She had sex before marriage , she did not kill anyone.Calm down.I am not sure if her parents have a right to know but her husband does.
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    Arianna26's Avatar
    Arianna26 Posts: 7, Reputation: -1
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    #106

    Apr 2, 2009, 02:37 PM
    Dare81; Sahaba are prophets, shabiat is the female version of it.It does not matter a Muslim is a Muslim.That is pretty close minded.Go look Muslims in India and then go look at them in turkey and then you can tell me they are all the same.

    She had sex before marriage , she did not kill anyone.Calm down.I am not sure if her parents have a right to know but her husband does.
    I think I had said that on my last post... no ones prefect... blab blab blab... and anyway this is why Muslims stand out from all other religons... and how this is the most unforgettable mistake that u can make... as a women this could be the end of the world... that's why she wrote that she's in danger... and yes it wouldn't matter what yr it is... people don't change what they were though by there parents. In her case, if she's so open minded that she didn't believe why a women must be a virgin and not a man, when they are married... then she should have told her parents... listen this is what is happening and what has happened... and why wouldn't her parents have a right too know... wht is going on their child's life, they have all the rights... I mean parents aren't the monsters that create drama in your life... it's yourself... becasue your not being true too yourself and too others. Your living in a fake world... and it's time to come out of it. This is another example with gay people, and how it's a huge thing when they come out. I'm just saying... if your going to do something, come out and say it... and stop hiding...

    God bless :)
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    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
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    #107

    Apr 2, 2009, 02:42 PM
    [QUOTE=Arianna26;1643183]
    Quote Originally Posted by Dare81 View Post
    Sahaba are prophets, shabiat is the female version of it.It does not matter a Muslim is a Muslim.That is pretty close minded.Go look Muslims in India and then go look at them in turkey and then you can tell me they are all the same.

    She had sex before marriage , she did not kill anyone.Calm down.I am not sure if her parents have a right to know but her husband does.[/QUOTE

    I think I had said that on my last post....no ones prefect....blab blab blab.....and anywho this is why muslims stand out from all other religons...and how this is the most unforgetable mistake that u can make...as a women this could be the end of the world...that's why she wrote that she's in danger...and yes it wouldn't matter wht yr it is....people don't change wht they were though by there parents. In her case, if she's so open minded that she didn't believe why a women must be a virgin and not a man, when they are married.....then she should of told her parents...listen this is wht is happening and wht has happened....and why wouldn't her parents have a right too know...wht is going on their childs life, they have all the rights....I mean parents aren't the monsters that create drama in your life...it's yourself...becasue your not being true too yourself and too others. Your living in a fake world....and it's time to come out of it. This is another example with gay people, and how it's a hugh thing when they come out. I'm just saying...if your going to do something, come out and say it...and stop hiding...

    God bless :)

    Now you are comparing this situation to a gay union? Stop being so angry and insulting and move on please. I have already told you that she is likely already married. Did you actually read the original question? She said she was getting married in a month. Please read before responding. You are not making a very good impression, for someone who has just joined this site!
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