Hi everybody,

I have this question that's hurting me so bad that I don't know what to do. I'm seeing this guy that lives with another woman but they live in separate rooms. I'm on the phone with him every night and he does provide for me. He's there for me whenever I need him. It's just that it has gotten to the point where I can't stand for him to live with her anymore or take her places. Whenever he's spending time with me she's always calling him, sometimes he leaves and sometimes he just ignore her phone calls. He says he has plans to move out and that he doesn't love her. He says that he loves me. Me and him have been together for over two years and he's been living with her for over 20 years. He say that the only reason he leaves when she call him sometimes is because she is crazy and she cut the tires on his vehicle and cut his clothes. The question is do you think that he's really serious about leaving her or that 20 years is a long time to be with someone and that he actually loves her. Or do you think that it is possible for him to be in love with me?

If he was going to leave, he would have by now, it should be obvous.

He's using you and lying to you , as chuck says if he was going to leave her he would have by now.

We here the same story on here a lot , search the topic and read some of the other stories , it'll open your eyes up a bit to what is going on.

I agree with everyone else... if he was going to leave her he would have by now... and about them sleeping in separate rooms? How do you know that? Just because he's on the phone with you all night doesn't mean that they don't sleep together, he could be in the bathroom all night on the phone with you, than crawl into bed with her when he's off the phone.

Are you seeing him or just dating? If he hasn't even asked you out ovbiously he isn't in to you! You should tell him how you feel and if he doesn't move out and kind of get rid of her, forget about him, he is obviously into her and not you!

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Originally Posted by vionte_100305

i agree with everyone else... if he was going to leave her he would have by now... and about them sleeping in seperate rooms? how do you know that? just because he's on the phone with you all night dosent mean that they don't sleep together, he could be in the bathroom all night on the phone with you, than crawl into bed with her when he's off the phone.

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Its sad that you feel like you love him, but ask yourself if this is really love or just lust. Do u really like him or the idea of him? Don't complicate things 4 yourself, honey

The question you be asking yourself is why is you messing around with someone that is already involved with someone? Also, you should be leary of putting yourself in a situation like this because sadly when some women find out about another women they tend to take their anger out on that other women instead of the man. You already wasted two years of your life with him so how many more are you willing to waste?

My advice is to walk away from this confusion.

Hi, I am in a similar relationship and I understand what you are experiencing. However, I have come to the realization that he is not in love with me or he would have left her by now. Start planning how to deal with the pain so you won't waste anymore time of your life. Learn to love yourself again because there are good men out there but you won't find them until you let go!

As hard as it is to say because I know all these posts only hurt you, not giving you a chance of hope. But everyone is right, it's best to prepare yourself to detach yourself from this situation... sooner is better then later, the longer you stall it, the harder it is going to be... the more time you're wasting at starting the rest of your life as a happy you!

I think in your heart you know that everyone is right... to cut the ties... your being played. If he wanted he could have left her a long time ago... crazy ex or not. Get ready for some detachment pain and move on with your life you don't need to be put second; you need to put yourself first!

I would like to ask you why you are settling for runner-up? Seriously, think about this now. You are 'the other woman'. You don't know what happens when he goes home. They've been together for 20 yrs? You are his fling! You are his excitement away from everyday life, and all of the mundane daily routines. Leave him, and find someone unattached, and stop playing second fiddle. This is clear from miles away!

You sure got yourself in a dead end situation here.

Do his actions line up with his words? Who lives in fear for 20 years? Who so openly sees someone else, if she is so crazy??

Nope, his actions don't match his words at all do they??

That makes you his mistress, his side action, and him a cheater.

He has no intention of leaving her, he's having his cake and eating it too.. And very well if I might add. You need to break this off so you can have a healthy relationship.