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Varoth · Mar 5, 2009, 04:26 PM

All right. Last valentine's day, Gaia online (Think myspace only much much cooler. Look it up. Largest forum on the internet. ) had a valentine's day event. I posted that I am sick of the over commercialism of valentine's day, and I was going to abstain from the festivities. A girl posted the same. We got to talking, and one thing led to another and we fell quite in love. But one problem. She lives in Arizona. I live in Pennsylvania. And we have gotten to know each other as well as our situation will allow. And as intimate (I like to call it teleing). She's my age, we like all the same things, we get along perfectly, and we are a match that seems just too perfect. But the distance is a HUGE problem for both of us. I want to see her, she wants to see me, but being 17, and in high school, it just doesn't seem feasible.

So basically, I need some thoughts on the matter.

ChihuahuaMomma · Mar 5, 2009, 04:40 PM

Get a real life relationship if that's what you desire, and remain friends with this person.

ChihuahuaMomma · Mar 5, 2009, 04:41 PM

Just because you click with a person doesn't mean that you have to date them.

artlady · Mar 5, 2009, 04:42 PM

Have you ever met? In real life?

Falling in love with a virtual friend seems a little far fetched.

I have on line friends who I care for deeply,but love is a whole other ball game.

You get along perfectly because you have a make believe romance.
Its not reality.

I'm not trying to be harsh but you are placing a lot of your hopes and dreams on something that is unattainable at this time.

I would not discourage your friendship but I think you need to get out of your virtual world and meet people. You are too young to spend your time hooked on a make believe romance.

Triplell · Mar 5, 2009, 06:29 PM

If someone described the flavor of some food you never tried before over the internet, would you fall in love with the food?

Kind of a bad analogy, but what you're doing isn't practical.

First thing:1. She might not be a girl
2.She might not live in Arizona.
3.You've talked with her over the internet. Any Psychology major would be able to mind bang the snot out of you over the internet(especially as impressionable you seem).

Reading this seems like I'm bashing you, but I'm really just trying to show you the light. Find yourself something real, something closer. Online dating sites are for older people who have less opportunity to meet people. You're in high school, you should have plenty of opportunity to meet others.

talaniman · Mar 5, 2009, 08:11 PM

Reality is your friend, get some, and put the phone friend in perspective, and enjoy it for what it is, friendship, but don't make it what it isn't, a healthy love.

Varoth · Mar 5, 2009, 08:15 PM

Well,

A)I've talked to her over the phone seen her picture, and the like. I am well aware with the whole pedophile possibilities.

B) I doubt I could GET a relationship. The dating scene is not kind to me.

C) I'm cyber schooled with the only social life I have is on the internet. I know, I should go get a real life, but the only transportation I have is my bike, and I live out in the boondocks. Of course even before I was cyber schooled, my entire reputation has been ruined with some things, I'd rather not talk about, resulting in me being a social outcast.

talaniman · Mar 5, 2009, 08:26 PM

Don't make excuses not to make real friends, and not doing real fun things.

Varoth · Mar 5, 2009, 08:51 PM

And this is quite fun. And these are real friends. Because we don't meet in person, and my friends are all over, they aren't real?

Justwantfair · Mar 5, 2009, 09:26 PM

You started talking less than one month ago.

You will now have to continue your relationship in this fashion until you are old enough to meet in person.

If it is the true love you have been waiting for, what is the rush to meet?

Varoth · Mar 5, 2009, 09:33 PM

Good point. I suppose the anticipation? Or perhaps I subconsciously want to rush into it because I lack any meaningful relationships. Hrmmm... whatever the case, I think I'll stick to what we've got now. Friends, bordering on lovers.

Justwantfair · Mar 5, 2009, 09:38 PM

Originally Posted by Varoth

Good point. I suppose the anticipation? Or perhaps I subconsciously want to rush into it because i lack any meaningful relationships. Hrmmm...whatever the case, I think i'll stick to what we've got now. Friends, bordering on lovers.

Good luck to you, only time will tell.

friend4u178 · Mar 5, 2009, 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by Varoth

B) i doubt i could GET a relationship. the dating scene is not kind to me.

C) I'm cyber schooled with the only social life i have is on the internet. I know, I should go get a real life, but the only transportation I have is my bike, and I live out in the boondocks. Of course even before i was cyber schooled, my entire reputation has been ruined with some things, I'd rather not talk about, resulting in me being a social outcast.

Does she know these things , is this the sort of relationship she wants to get into?

Varoth · Mar 5, 2009, 11:13 PM

Oh yes. We both have the same issues.Although she has a bit of a better social life than I do.

Dare81 · Mar 6, 2009, 04:11 AM

So you don't have any real friends and neither does and you two fell in love after talking to each other online.Sounds like the start of a great relationship

kctiger · Mar 6, 2009, 08:53 AM

Building a life solely via cyber space is absolutely fictitious. What do you have going for you other than the internet? Also, to be able to help you better, I would like to know what exactly ruined your "rep" that you fear talking about. This is a help board, and the only help we give is based upon what little information we receive. The more info, the more accurate our advice is...

kctiger · Mar 6, 2009, 10:38 AM

Triplell: I asked him to share information, I didn't tell him to. Is your literacy all that good? Read the rules on the "rep" given here, if you can... otherwise, I will spell them out for you.

idoitall10566 · Mar 6, 2009, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by Varoth

Well,

A)I've talked to her over the phone seen her picture, and the like. I am well aware with the whole pedophile possibilities.

B) i doubt i could GET a relationship. the dating scene is not kind to me.

C) I'm cyber schooled with the only social life i have is on the internet. I know, I should go get a real life, but the only transportation I have is my bike, and I live out in the boondocks. Of course even before i was cyber schooled, my entire reputation has been ruined with some things, I'd rather not talk about, resulting in me being a social outcast.

Well,

You have to make up your mind . What do you won't to do. Us telling you is not helping you at all. Your 17 give it some time. Get out of school and then go to her. It's the only way you will ever know if it will work. And if you are wrong then you are still young. Love can be the best thing a person can ever feel. So talk to her and both of you decide what you both won't. Most people on here don't know what love is. Do what you feel OK

Hope this helps.

rippedinside · Mar 6, 2009, 02:18 PM

Hi there,

I feel like all of the comments on here are sort of harsh, but everyone has their own opinion. I personally went out with my girlfriend for three years, long distance relationship. I met her online as well. Our "online relationship" to be honest meant nothing at first. I thought it was simply a "game thing." Well as time passed and I talked to this person more and more, we ended up dating for a long time. We're now together, in person. I think it made our relationship stronger, despite a few bumps.

Your both 17, if I'm correct, give it a try. It doesn't hurt, love comes in all forms doesn't it? Just know that long distance shouldn't be a forever thing. Maybe when you both graduate you can attend the same college and actually be around each other.

People will not comprehend this situation if they've never been through it. I have, so coming from experience, do as you both wish. Just make sure to be prepared for ALL KINDS of things. :D

Good luck!

Justwantfair · Mar 6, 2009, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by rippedinside

Hi there,

I feel like all of the comments on here are sort of harsh, but everyone has their own opinion. I personally went out with my girlfriend for three years, long distance relationship. I met her online as well. Our "online relationship" to be honest meant nothing at first. I thought it was simply a "game thing." Well as time passed and I talked to this person more and more, we ended up dating for a long time. We're now together, in person. I think it made our relationship stronger, despite a few bumps.

Your both 17, if I'm correct, give it a try. It doesn't hurt, love comes in all forms doesn't it? Just know that long distance shouldn't be a forever thing. Maybe when you both graduate you can attend the same college and actually be around each other.

People will not comprehend this situation if they've never been through it. I have, so coming from experience, do as you both wish. Just make sure to be prepared for ALL KINDS of things. :D

Good luck!

I think the concern is holding on for an online relationship, WITHOUT developing any social skills first hand. If you have a good mixture of both, you are in a better position in life. People are hoping to encourage him to enter into some more social activities. Online is social in a sense, but you are missing out on involving all of your other senses if you depend on it.