Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Jaytdk's Avatar
    Jaytdk Posts: 50, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Feb 20, 2010, 01:05 AM
    I've got a girlfriend but still dating my ex and still wants my ex's friend...
    Me and my girlfriend are doing well, our love is growing constantly everyday and I try by all means to make us happy and I don't want to loose her, trust me. Now the problem is, I enjoy sleeping with my ex when I am bored, Im dating my ex when my girlfriend is not around and she's (ex) got a boyfriend as well but we just making sure that we keep it a secret. My ex has got a friend who's got a nice body and so I'm kind of interested in her as well and even tried to make a move on her. I admit this is totally not acceptable and its unfair to my girlfriend, but I can't seem to let go of my ex and stop thinking about her friend. I do not know what caused this problem I've got and how can I make it stop because people or someone is going to get hurt here and that's not what I want. Any advice, anyone who experienced the same problem
    jaime90's Avatar
    jaime90 Posts: 1,157, Reputation: 163
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Feb 20, 2010, 01:18 AM
    If you are still involved with your ex, you shouldn't have ever considered dating someone else.

    Don't you DARE, think that you love someone you are cheating on. Not only is love FAR FAR out of the equation in your relationship, you are going to end up hurting your current girlfriend, breaking her heart, leaving, and walking all over her emotions on the way out the door, leaving this poor girl to feel alone, violated, and god knows what else.

    Not only are you cheating on your girlfriend with your ex, you are making moves on other women.

    You need to get your head on straight. DO NOT consider getting into the dating game until you mature.

    Think about your future. You will have to sit down with your future wife and tell her that you cheated on one of your past girlfriends with your ex, and then decided to put the moves on other women. What kind of self-respecting woman would want a man like that?

    Plead guilty to this girl, and leave her IMMEDIATELY, do not toy with her emotions anymore. I feel awful for this poor girl.
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Feb 20, 2010, 02:31 AM

    Jaytdk agrees : I can'tplead with her guilty, its going to hurt her, I can't deal with it now, I don't want to see her hurt its going to kill me
    If you are going to whore yourself out at least be a man about it and tell your girlfriend.

    "YOU can't deal with it" is NOT an excuse!
    Jaytdk's Avatar
    Jaytdk Posts: 50, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Feb 20, 2010, 02:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    If you are going to whore yourself out at least be a man about it and tell your girlfriend.

    "YOU can't deal with it" is NOT an excuse!
    Im not whoreing myself out, I can't just stop this sex feelings I have for my ex, I do not love my ex but I want more of her in terms of sex. I cannot tell my girlfriend about this, I do not have guads to do that and I can't bear the thought of hurting her... Oh my word , wher did I put myself into, eish
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
     
    #5

    Feb 20, 2010, 03:20 AM
    [QUOTE]
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaytdk View Post
    I can't just stop this sex feelings I have/QUOTE]
    You can stop ACTING on them today. You say you don't want to hurt at least one of these women. How much is it going to hurt her when she does find out? How much is it gong to hurt her when you start passing diseases around?

    One offs can be a lot of fun and with proper precautions safe. But NOT while in a relationship. Or do you define relationship without using the term "commitment"?
    Jaytdk's Avatar
    Jaytdk Posts: 50, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Feb 20, 2010, 03:33 AM
    [QUOTE=Catsmine;2238719]

    You can stop ACTING on them today. You say you don't want to hurt at least one of these women. How much is it going to hurt her when she does find out? How much is it gong to hurt her when you start passing diseases around?

    One offs can be a lot of fun and with proper precautions safe. But NOT while in a relationship. Or do you define relationship without using the term "commitment"?

    I am always using protection with the ex,and I cannot stop, its so hard very hard. The minutes I see her and touch her, it starts there , what else can I do
    azif's Avatar
    azif Posts: 96, Reputation: 22
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Feb 20, 2010, 03:39 AM
    Don't see her (the ex)...

    -> problem solved
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
     
    #8

    Feb 20, 2010, 03:41 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaytdk View Post
    what else can I do
    You can stop lying to everybody. You're lying to the girlfriend, you're lying to the ex, and worst of all, you're lying to yourself. Freeing your girlfriend from her commitment to you(break up) is the least you can do.

    Or you could be a politician. Liars do well in that field.
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
    Uber Member
     
    #9

    Feb 20, 2010, 04:19 AM

    I'm sorry if I sound blunt but I just cannot understand cheaters.

    It's simple... if your girlfriend is not satisfying you enough that you have to look to other places for sex then the relationship is over.

    If you want to make it work with your girlfriend then you stop talking to your ex!
    Delete her number from your phone, block her on Facebook, don't go to her work... just Don't SEE HER.
    Jaytdk's Avatar
    Jaytdk Posts: 50, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Feb 20, 2010, 04:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    I'm sorry if I sound blunt but I just cannot understand cheaters.

    It's simple... if your girlfriend is not satisfying you enough that you have to look to other places for sex then the relationship is over.

    If you want to make it work with your girlfriend then you stop talking to your ex!
    Delete her number from your phone, block her on facebook, don't go to her work... just DONT SEE HER.

    She comes to me more often, she phones and sends me messages, how can I stop that?
    Jaytdk's Avatar
    Jaytdk Posts: 50, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Feb 20, 2010, 04:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    I'm sorry if I sound blunt but I just cannot understand cheaters.

    It's simple... if your girlfriend is not satisfying you enough that you have to look to other places for sex then the relationship is over.

    If you want to make it work with your girlfriend then you stop talking to your ex!
    Delete her number from your phone, block her on facebook, don't go to her work... just DONT SEE HER.

    My girlfriend is satisfying me
    mistyjane's Avatar
    mistyjane Posts: 271, Reputation: 59
    Full Member
     
    #12

    Feb 20, 2010, 05:11 AM

    She satisfies you?
    I think you need to learn what love is ?
    How can you say you love your girl if you don't respect her? When she will find out how will she feel?
    Today you want your ex , then you want your ex's friend and tomorrow who will it be?Your girl's girlfriend?
    Please!
    Normally when you make love with someone you really love(like you say you love her) , You should share something strong and special this is usually enough to keep you away from cheating!
    Jaytdk's Avatar
    Jaytdk Posts: 50, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #13

    Feb 20, 2010, 05:13 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by azif View Post
    Dont see her (the ex)...

    -> problem solved
    No its not solved asif, its not that just simple. I see her everyday, everywhere I go, she stays close to me. I want to stop but I just can't figure out how because sleeping with her is so extraordinary and I like it. Help me come up with solutions
    JK191's Avatar
    JK191 Posts: 151, Reputation: 31
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Feb 20, 2010, 06:19 AM

    Man up.

    You're just a pathetic sad excuse for a boyfriend. How can you even say you love this girl if you constantly cheat on her? She has absolutely no reason to trust you let alone love you.

    If you actually did love your girlfriend, you'd find the willpower and capability to look past other women and even more importantly keep your out of them.

    You know what? Go and break up with your girlfriend, she deserves better and once you do, your ex won't want you anymore since you won't be cheating on someone and it'll lose the thrill.

    Hopefully when you go cold turkey on women, there's a slim chance you might actually learn to see them as more than something to stick your into.
    Jaytdk's Avatar
    Jaytdk Posts: 50, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Feb 20, 2010, 06:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JK191 View Post
    Man up.

    You're just a pathetic sad excuse for a boyfriend. How can you even say you love this girl if you constantly cheat on her? She has absolutely no reason to trust you let alone love you.

    If you actually did love your girlfriend, you'd find the willpower and capability to look past other women and even more importantly keep your out of them.

    You know what? Go and break up with your girlfriend, she deserves better and once you do, your ex won't want you anymore since you won't be cheating on someone and it'll lose the thrill.

    Hopefully when you go cold turkey on women, there's a slim chance you might actually learn to see them as more than something to stick your into.

    Do you think I enjoy doing this to my girlfriend?? Ofcos NO NO, I don't enjoy and I do not like it. My ex is coming too hard on me and she gets me when I am on my weakest point, when I need someone to be with
    Jaytdk's Avatar
    Jaytdk Posts: 50, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #16

    Feb 20, 2010, 06:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by mistyjane View Post
    she satisfies you?
    I think you need to learn what love is ?
    How can you say you love your girl if you don't respect her? When she will find out how will she feel?
    Today you want your ex , then you want your ex's friend and tomorrow who will it be?Your girl's girlfriend?
    Please!
    Normally when you make love with someone you really love(like you say you love her) , You should share something strong and special this is usually enough to keep you away from cheating!


    I share a bond with my gal that no one else in this plane will never will. I feel her so strong that I can't even imagine myself with another girl, Im committed to her utterly and no one will ever break us apart even my ex. I realise that what I am doing is wrong that is why I initiated this query because I need help on how to leave my ex and her friend and others
    mistyjane's Avatar
    mistyjane Posts: 271, Reputation: 59
    Full Member
     
    #17

    Feb 20, 2010, 07:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaytdk View Post
    I share a bond with my gal that no one else in this plane will never will. I feel her so strong that I can't even imagine myself with another girl, Im commited to her utterly and no one will ever break us apart even my ex. I realise that what I am doing is wrong that is why I initiated this query because I need help on how to leave my ex and her friend and others
    Ok!so maybe you need to pray the Lord or see a psychiatrist:cool: so you will get this out of you cause if you act like that you really turn yourself into an animal because we, human beings, are supposed to be able to manage our drives.
    Jaytdk's Avatar
    Jaytdk Posts: 50, Reputation: -1
    Junior Member
     
    #18

    Feb 20, 2010, 07:49 AM

    Mistyjane, you really do not understand. I've got a problem and I want to fix it
    JK191's Avatar
    JK191 Posts: 151, Reputation: 31
    Junior Member
     
    #19

    Feb 20, 2010, 07:50 AM

    No, all you really need to do is learn to keep it in your pants.

    It's not hard either.
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
     
    #20

    Feb 20, 2010, 07:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaytdk View Post
    Im commited to her utterly and no one will ever break us apart even my ex.
    This is what I meant by lying to yourself.

    You will not get out of this situation until you stop thinking with the little head. If you cannot control it, you really need to start charging for it.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

My mom is dating my (abusive) ex's dad.how do I tell my boyfriend? [ 2 Answers ]

My ex was physically and emotionally abusive and controlling. Despite, I loved his family to bits, and now my mom is dating his dad. Awkward situation in itself. My mom doesn't know the extent of the abuse, but it kind of makes me want to scream when I think about her being in the same room with...

Slept with my neighbour/friend/ex's friend/he has a girlfriend [ 20 Answers ]

So I was drinking at my friends house when he showed up just in time to give me a ride home and we've lived across the road from each other for quite some time now and we were friends in grade 7 until now... we're both 19. I had a great night with him we were up until 6 and woke up at 9: 30 to do...

Best friend dating my ex's boyfriend? [ 17 Answers ]

All right, so it has been awhile since I have posted a question on here. I have run across an odd situation regarding my best friend. He has started to date my ex's room mate, who happens to be one of her best friends. I am pretty good friends with her (not my ex, but my ex's roommate), however I...

Ex's Best Friend [ 2 Answers ]

I have a problem... So my ex and I split about 2 months ago. It was pretty mutual. We both know we stayed together way longer than we should. So we share the same friends, one in particular. We both met him separately. We both stopped talking to him for a while until he popped back into our...

Dating men with children dealling with ex's [ 6 Answers ]

What advice can you give me about dating a man with 2 children by two other women and they both hate me


View more questions Search