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-   -   Important info for all guys who come here. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/important-info-all-guys-who-come-here-14796.html)

  • Nov 13, 2005, 12:13 PM
    Wildcat21
    Important info for all guys who come here.
    This is what's it's all about. LEARN this guys.

    How Attraction Works For WOMEN

    AN INTERESTING STORY (OR SO)...

    There are two basic stories for how men and
    Women "start off" together, and two basic stories
    For how men and women "end up".

    Through all of time, I'm sure that men and
    Women have been playing out these stories... and
    I'm sure that they'll continue to play them out
    Long into the future (that is, unless I have
    Something to say about it... and I do).

    THE MEETING STORIES

    Here's "Meeting Story #1":

    Boy is attracted to girl. Unfortunately, boy
    Doesn't have a clue about how to make girl feel
    ATTRACTION for him... so, instead he tries to
    "pursue" girl by offering her dinners, gifts, and
    Flowers. Girl finds boy "nice", but there are no
    "sparks", so she "just likes him as a friend".

    Here's "Meeting Story #2":

    Boy is attracted to girl. Fortunately for him,
    Boy understands ATTRACTION, and begins to
    Communicate with girl in a way that makes her feel
    A powerful physical and emotional response for boy
    That she can't control. The sparks fly, and boy
    And girl "get together".

    As I'm sure you know...

    In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the
    Situation and both of them know it.

    In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of
    The situation.

    THE STORIES OF HOW THINGS "END UP"

    Let's assume that somehow, boy and girl
    Actually "get together". Things usually go one of
    Two ways after that...

    Here's "End Up Story #1":

    Boy and girl get together. Boy realizes that he
    "REALLY likes" girl. Boy begins to act more and
    More predictable. Boy starts to share "how he
    feels" about girl too often. Boy becomes more and
    More submissive. Girl loses that feeling of
    ATTRACTION that she once had for boy and has no
    Way of explaining or understanding why. Girl
    Leaves boy and boy is left wondering what
    Happened.

    Here's "End Up Story #2":

    Boy and girl get together. Boy understands that
    No matter how much he likes girl, he cannot let
    Himself become a Wussy who chases girl around
    "sharing how he feels" and becomes boring. Boy
    Keeps the relationship interesting and he keeps
    Challenging girl. Boy stays in control of himself,
    And by understanding his role as "The Man" in the
    Relationship, keeps girl interested and attracted
    To him into the future.

    And again, as I'm sure you know...

    In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the
    Situation and both of them know it.

    In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of
    The situation.

    If you look at your experience with women, I'm
    Sure you'll see that these short stories describe
    MOST of the experiences you've had.

    Now, of course there are slight twists and
    Variations, but the message is clear:

    YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW ATTRACTION WORKS FOR
    WOMEN... AND HOW TO KEEP THE ATTRACTION GOING
    WHEN YOU MEET A WOMAN YOU REALLY LIKE.

    If you don't understand ATTRACTION and how it
    Works, then you are destined to keep playing out
    These same stories for the rest of your life. It's
    Very unlikely that you'll stumble upon the "magic
    solution" by accident...

    ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR
    MEN - VERY DIFFERENT

    The reality is that you CAN stop this negative
    Pattern if you WANT to.

    But the key is:

    1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN.

    2) Understanding YOURSELF, so you don't ALLOW
    Yourself to act like a Wussy, become boring and
    Turn a good thing into a bad one... but instead
    You do the RIGHT things to keep everything on the
    Right track.

    If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION
    For you, then you can control your destiny with
    Women. If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel
    ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your
    Destiny with women.

    Read that paragraph again, and think about it
    For a minute before you go on.

    OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very
    Different for women than it is for men.

    Different how?

    What do I mean by that?. Well, generally
    Speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS...
    Not an "event". It happens over time, and it
    Becomes stronger or weaker depending upon how well
    The man in the situation understands how it works.

    For a man, ATTRACTION is much more of an
    "event", meaning that it's either there or it
    Isn't. It really doesn't matter whether the
    Woman understands how it works. (As an interesting
    Side note, if a woman really knows how ATTRACTION
    Works, and her intention is to manipulate a man,
    It usually works VERY well.)

    So, think of a woman's "Attraction Mechanism"
    More like a volume knob than a light switch.

    It's like a fantastic, classy old car that
    Needs to warm up for a long time before you can
    Drive it... not like a brand new Honda that you
    Can start up and get right on the freeway with.

    Here's a little secret about women and
    ATTRACTION: If you'll just take a little longer in
    Every situation to AMPLIFY a woman's ATTRACTION,
    She'll love you for it... and you'll experience
    Rewards that will make the extra time you spent
    Seem like the best investment of your entire life.

    Here are a few specific tips for you for the
    "Meeting Phase":

    1) Start with something STRONG, not WEAK.

    When a guy finds a girl interesting, he usually
    Turns into a ball of nervous mush. Then, he
    Usually makes the mistake of letting the woman
    KNOW that he's nervous and weak.

    Don't do it.

    Do something STRONG.

    Challenge her.

    If she thinks that she's cool, make fun of her.
    If she's smart, argue with her a little. If she's
    Doing something, tell her that you could do it
    Better.

    When you PUSH a little, and show some BACKBONE,
    She'll push back. That's your sign that the GAME
    IS ON.

    If you just chase after her like the 100 other
    Wussies that have been bothering her this week,
    You will just be another boring, predictable face
    In the crowd.

    2) Keep the TENSION UP.

    One of my favorite concepts is "Never let the
    line go slack".

    This means that once you SPARK the "chemistry"
    Or "sexual tension", you need to KEEP IT UP.

    Just because she starts doing things that hint
    To you that she's interested, doesn't mean that
    It's time to STOP. Quite the opposite, actually.

    Turn UP the volume a little. It's working, so
    Do more!

    3) Tease.

    The word "tease" has a couple of meanings.

    One of the meanings has to do with doing things
    That are slightly annoying to get a response from
    Someone.

    The other meaning is subtly different and has
    To do with drawing out a response that you want by
    Doing certain things that indirectly trigger it.

    Do both.

    If you're about to kiss her, wait until your
    Lips are so close that you can almost feel her...
    And then STOP. Pull away, and smile.

    If you want to know how she feels about you,
    Say, "You LOVE me" in a condescending tone of
    Voice, and see how she responds. If she says "NO I
    DON'T!" in an exaggerated, mocking way, then she
    Probably DOES "love" you.

    Teasing is fantastic. Do more of it.

    And here are a few tips for the "End Up" phase:

    1) Never become BORING.

    Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin
    When it comes to ATTRACTION.

    Don't do either.

    Of course, telling a man not to be predictable
    Is like telling a dog not to hump your leg.

    Most guys are PAINFULLY predictable.

    We LIKE being predictable, actually. I get it.

    But, when it comes to a woman you enjoy, you'd
    Better figure out a way to STOP IT.

    There's nothing that will kill the sparks
    Faster than her knowing what you're about to do or
    Say.

    2) Don't hand over control.

    Women like men who make decisions and take the
    Lead. Now, I'm not saying that women like men who
    Are overly controlling. What I am saying is that
    Women don't like guys who are always saying things
    Like, "I don't know, what do YOU want to do,
    baby?".

    Women don't want men that they can control, so
    Don't be one.

    3) Respect yourself and keep your own interests.

    When a guy meets a woman he likes, he often
    Wants to spend as much time as possible with her.

    This is natural, of course.

    But there's a big danger here as well.

    If you put your life aside for a woman, you
    Will become less interesting to HER.

    In the long run, it's MUCH better to keep your
    Friends, your interests, and your hobbies, and to
    Spend time doing the things you enjoy... WITHOUT
    HER.

    And I think it's VERY important to keep
    Improving yourself as a person, and continue to be
    A guy that she can look up to and respect.

    As soon as you start acting like she's going to
    Be around forever, she'll start feeling less and
    Less ATTRACTION for you.

    THE BIGGER PICTURE

    Now, as you read these examples, can you see
    The bigger picture forming?

    Can you see the deeper message?

    The deeper message is that you need to
    Understand how ATTRACTION works for women and you
    Need to do those things that keep the ATTRACTION
    BUILDING FOREVER.

    Now, where does this all begin?

    It begins with YOU.

    And it begins with you learning how to control
    Yourself and your emotions. It begins with you
    Understanding the history of how and why
    Men and women become attracted to each other. It
    Begins with you learning the basics of how to use
    Subtle body language and communication to make
    Women feel ATTRACTION for you.

    And what's the best way to get this "in depth"
    Education?

    You need to get some of your "Inner Game"
    Issues handled, and you need to learn how to
    Really get control of your emotional life. If this
    Is you, then I recommend you check out my "Deep
    Inner Game" program.
  • Nov 13, 2005, 03:16 PM
    jeffatl
    GREAT POST!

    The only thing I don't really get is how to work the pursuit aspect of the "courtship phase". Should the man be the one to pursue the girl, or should he let her pursue him? I would think more of the 2nd because if you pursue, it could be seen as latchy. I have never pursued a girl before, I always let them come to me if they are interested, but that doesn't always help you land the girl you want, or could if you did in fact go after her. I get the whole attraction thing, so I guess you could take it from there. I have learned A lot from my past relationship, and now from dating again, but the 3 girls I have dated just are not my type. I have learned to keep within my comfort zone, and make sure I don't appear nervouse with women. Any ideas wildcat?
  • Nov 13, 2005, 03:23 PM
    NeedKarma
    I'll add my $0.02 for men and women:

    Be comfortable with yourselves before you even dare to be a couple with someone else. No man or woman will make you feel better or fix your problems. You'd better take care of your issues first before attempting to meet anyone else. And then, especially for the women, don't be a big fake just to please the person you are enamored with, it will backfire every time.

    Thank you for your time.

    NK.
  • Nov 13, 2005, 09:01 PM
    Wildcat21
    Sorry NeedKarma, You obviously don't get it. To bad, so sad. Read it again.
  • Nov 14, 2005, 08:33 PM
    letmeno
    I can speak for all men and women on this one. The rules apply to women as well. No one wants a weak, needy, and clingy person. Not a man, and not a woman. This is unattractive and a turn off. Every one likes mystery, no one likes games. What Wildcat is saying is give them a little but don't overfeed them. He uses the word CONTROL, I call it BALANCE.
  • Nov 14, 2005, 08:54 PM
    momincali
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wildcat21
    Sorry NeedKarma, You obviously don't get it. To bad, so sad. Read it again.


    Okay, so I read your book and for the most part, unwillingly with an arm twisted behind my back I will admit some, okay, maybe a little more than some of it is true! However, NeedKarma is also correct if you just READ what he wrote.

    "I'll add my $0.02 for men and women:

    Be comfortable with yourselves before you even dare to be a couple with someone else. No man or woman will make you feel better or fix your problems. You'd better take care of your issues first before attempting to meet anyone else. And then, especially for the women, don't be a big fake just to please the person you are enamored with, it will backfire everytime.

    Thank you for your time.

    NK


    What exactly didn't he get?? He didn't disagree with you Wildcat, his 2 cents only added to what you had said.

    P.S. Did you know that Wildcat in spanish is Gato Salvaje (pronounced sel-vah-hey)?? Cool.
  • Nov 15, 2005, 02:33 AM
    Katiy
    Immature
    Time to grow up. Your bait and switch routine is boring.
  • Nov 15, 2005, 11:22 AM
    dimples
    That is one good post, Wildcat! That would be very helpful to guys who don't have a clue. :)
  • Nov 15, 2005, 01:35 PM
    Wildcat21
    97% don't.

    Sp dam important. Then the guy settles for something less.

    I didn't like NeedKarma's post because it's all flowery and not reality.
  • Nov 15, 2005, 03:08 PM
    NeedKarma
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wildcat21
    I didn't like NeedKarma's post because it's all flowery and not reality.

    How old are you and are you married?
  • Nov 16, 2005, 08:18 AM
    Wildcat21
    Not being a WUSS is learning how to behave properly - IT'S NOT CHANGING WHO YOU ARE - AND TOO MANY People GET THAT CONFUSED. They don't understand that people don't know how to behave in a relationship. You can't change who you are - BUT you can grow up and mature.

    A Wuss is imature and insecure and desperate.

    NOT being a Wuss means you are comfortable with who YOU are - don't need the woman to be happy - being confident - being busy and having MANY other things in life.

    There too many people here that just don't get what NOT being a WUSS means. Too many joker who think it's putting on an act.

    NOT being a Wuss means you understand to tease women, understand their tests. Bust their chops sometime. Not letting women get away with walking all over you.

    It's being a man, not a little boy.

    Anyone putting on an act will lose.
  • Aug 3, 2010, 05:09 PM
    ATTRACTION
    Comment on jeffatl's post
    Are you friggen kidding me?

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