Nobody has done that as far as I can see. I think what Fr_Chuck was saying and I agree is this married men who CHEAT are also lying. It's a fact and I believe it. I stand by what I said.

To the OP, if you're still around.

I just wanted to point out that at the end of any relationship, no matter who is at fault, or who carries the brunt of the cause of the breakup, it is a loss.

Personal losses require grieving, and in order to get past this relationship, and move on to have a healthy one in the future, you can't carry the baggage along with you, because it will only sour your opinion and view of men in general, and you won't be able to fairly judge another man.

I have friends who have been re-married, and every time their 'ex' comes up in conversation, even over the smallest thing, they resort to the drama, stories and reasons the ex is such a horrible rotten person. Too much info, repeated ad nausium, for years after the divorce was final.

I think a good chunk of that is that the end of the relationship was not dealt with. It requires time, and most jump into something new, and end up repeating the same mistakes, or painting anyone new as him 'being just like the last one- they're all the same'. You really short changeyourself by not allowing the process to happen, in due time.

Anger is almost always that first step. You're a good example of that. You're angry because he had a wife, because he lied, etc. which are all good reasons to be very, very angry. It is a legitimate emotion.

But at some point you have to move past the anger, and start to accept not only the breakup, but accept the reasons it didn't work out. Be careful at this stage, not to build resentment and let it simmer on the back burner.

Time will help you through this, and that is just part of the human condition, when dealing with a significant loss. We all go through it.

As tempting as it is to slit his tires or egg his house, you will only feel better for 30 seconds until the cops show up. And no matter what 'revenge' you feel like doing, you will still be faced with accepting the relationship is over, and moving on anyway.

If you have some girlfriends, gather them for a 'meeting', and have it out. Talk it out, cry, throw darts, boil his rabbit- just kidding- but share the emotions with other women who have been through this- in a healthy way.It will pass, and if you learn from it, you will not carry a bad relationship into a new, good relationship.

You can't tell anyone how to advise people who are here looking for help.
Yes some of us had CHEATING HUSBANDS. As far as bruised egos go I believe "Thou protesteth to much" Married men lie! So do married women! Just because men give their opinion doesn't mean they've lived it. And if they have it's no concern of yours or mine. Don't presume to know too much about the people who respond. This site is for opinions and advice by the way.

Tell the wife, its simple, all these responses of the wife is the innocent one. The wife always suspects, the wife always has doubts and the wife is always the last to know. Tell her, take her out of the misery, if I was a wife I would WANT to know, I would NOT like other people making that decision for me and let her deal with him. You gave him too many chances and his consequences (although harsh) are just as he thought and fought hard against. Getting caught! Reveal it all for what it is, CHEATING, cheating on her cheating on you. There is no winners, there are no trophies, there are no hearts left unbroken when it comes to cheating, maybe just maybe she will be smart and leave him (doubtful because most wives don't leave). But at least you have cleaned house COMPLETELY and can move on, no revenge (per say), just simply put cleaning house and all garbage needs to be dumped. Yes, you have a percent in all this, but that doesn't mean even close that you have to carry all the burden and sorrow. Remember, marriages are not perfect either, there's a reason why he drifted away from (supposedly the woman he loves and cherishes children or no children) why make or accept their problems your burden? Life is to short to be playing games with a married couple, they are irresponsible, they should take all the necessary steps when their marriage becomes difficult or accept the consequences and move on. They venture out into our world,muck it up at times and we are the villain or intruder. Its actually really sad if you think about it and especially when children are involved. Something to think about...

I find this to be very bad advice for this op. The op wants to hurt someone out of anger, frustration, etc. She wants revenge. She is the other woman looking for payback on the man who 'hurt' her. She isn't a well meaning friend or relative trying help someone.

Destroying another person because you can't control yourself and take responsibility for your own actions is not a healthy or good thing to do. A better idea would be to give yourself productive ways to release the anger and hurt and helps rebuild your own self-respect so that you can move forward and find someone who isn't a lying cheating louse.

I hope that the op has managed to find a way to move forward with her life since she posted this in September.