Ok. So as you can tell by the date this is posted, its Christmas. And instead of being in a happy and joyous mood, I am sitting in my bed alone with more stress and disappointment then anyone should ever have to endure. 17 months ago I started a relationship with the devil. And by devil, I mean my ex girlfriend. Three months after we started dating, she told me she was pregnant. Not only had she told me she was on birth control, but she told me she wasn't even able to have a baby. I know, silly me to believe a woman about birth control. Right before she got pregnant, she got a tattoo of my entire first and last name on her back. Not only am I not a tattoo kind of person, I am not ghetto. So now I have this girl, with my name on her back, and a 3 month old daughter. I am only 21. As if things weren't bad enough at this point, she cheats on me. So we have the baby 3 months ago and within a month of having the baby she gets a gun tatted on her arm, and starts smoking cigs and weed again. Is it just me, or is that a little crazy? So I end things. 2 weeks after things are ended, she starts dating another person, yes, 2 weeks. So I don't know if it is cause it was christmas week or what, but I decided to try and make things work. So all week long I have been working my hardest to convince her that I am the write person for her and that she should be with me. Here's where it starts to get good:

As I mention she has a boyfriend already. He is 16, has no car, is a JR in high school and has a 10pm curfew. My ex is 19. I guess maybe I should take it that she is trying to make me jealous? I don't know. But it worked. As I said, this week I decided that I wanted to be with her again and try and help her with her problems and get things back on track. So I tell her all week long that I want to be with her and etc. She responds with the same. Telling me that she is in love with me and still wants to be with me etc. So I tell her she needs to drop the other dude and her and me can start to try and make a life together. Well, she tells me she dumps him, but never did. I find this out yesterday, on christmas eve. So all week long she is telling me she wants to be with me and never gets rid of the other guy after she tells me she did. So I write her this big long letter, prob about 6 pages, talking about how much I love her, how much I want to be in her life, the good times we had, and how we can make things work. As to my knowledge she has yet to read it. So last night when she got off work I asked to talk to her for a few minutes. I asked her if she really wanted to be with me and what she was going to do. I asked her if I should move on, or wait for her, or what? She tells me she will give me an answer today (christmas) So I get there today, to hang out with her and her family and my daughter. I ask her if she has made a decision yet. She tells me "I dont want to talk about that right now". So OK, I get a little mad and keep asking her. "Please just tell me what I am suppose to do, tell me if I should stay and wait for you, tell me if I should move on or try meeting other ppl". She doesn't answer any of that. She continued to be mean to me all day long, not answering any of my questions and pretty much ignoring me the entire day! Might I add, she was texting her new boyfriend all day long. So as night comes, after an entire day of being ignore and completely disrespected, she tells me that she wants to go hang out with this boy one more time. She wants to hang out with him one more time and she is going to leave him to start over with me. So I tell her OK, if that's what it will take then fine. So she tells me, look, just leave for a little while and I'm going to hang out with him and were going to go see a movie or something and then when I'm done you can come back and sleep over. Well about 6 hours have gone by and she still hasn't told me to come back over to sleep. She is sending me random text like "I love you so much" "I can't lose you" "are you ready to be with me forever" and so on. Very very random and odd. She is obviously saying that to try and divert my attention from her not coming home yet to be with me. So I've decided that this is it world. Its time for matt to move on. Its time for matt to do what he wants for a change. I could really use some help to get over her the right way. As we have a baby together, I can't completely exile her from my life. So as I said, any information would help. Anything.

PS. Sorry about any spelling grammers, as I didn't go back and check. Also I am sorry about how long this is! Thanks again.