When I moved to this Chicago suburb, I quickly got to know people when I joined a church and volunteered to help out in their church nursery. That way I got to meet other young women/moms and ended up a few years later as president of their small church nursery club. You could also teach Sunday School (the lessons are all laid out with good teacher manuals) or just sit in on some Bible classes, even as a non-member of the church (and check 'em out!).

Thank you again. I'll be honest I am not really a religious person but it is giving me some ideas. Thanks

You don't have to be religious to join a Bible study group and look them over. :D And there are probably other groups in the area that would be fun to check out. Another one is the Toastmasters Club. A shy library patron I knew came out of her shell when she participated in that group.

Or volunteer at the hospital or an animal shelter a couple of hours a week.

What is the most recent book you've read?

The question for the rating system (in "GO") is "was this answer helpful" (or something to that effect)... and Sue didn't find it helpful. Instead of berating her (which actually is against site rules) and lecturing her, just link her to the site rules. We're losing people unnecessarily by reacting this way to negative ratings (evident by Sue's question if she could "just remove the question and profile from the site").

Sue... you've decided to go no contact, which is good. Now you're having problems getting over it and not feeling cheap. What you need to do is stand back up and realize what you learned from this situation. You learned that you value yourself more than "just sex", and you deserve a relationship and eventually marriage. So you treated yourself cheaply in this situation, that doesn't make YOU cheap, it makes you human. As a human, you are liable to make mistakes.

I've had plenty of encounters in my dating that have made me feel cheap, and sometimes looking back at those encounters is painful. Then I realize that I have since learned how to value myself, and demand better for myself.

That's the thing about lessons in life... you may not be able to remove the pain, but at least you can make sure the experience wasn't in vain and you do so by learning from it.

Good luck to you!

Thank you southamerica you are right. I have learned from this that I need to feel cared about to feel OK about sex. Wondergirl - my latest book is actually about parenting advice for teenagers lol. But I enjoy crime thrillers such as James Patterson and Karin Slaughter. Thank you both for your positive input. I have to log off now but I really do appreciate your comments/advice.

I hope you also read Kellerman and Picoult (start with Plain Truth or House Rules).

Hey, start a moms' reading group -- books on how to parent various age groups, etc.

I hope to see you here again!

Hi all

Unfortunately this is still the same problem! I was getting over this guy just fine and had even been on a couple of dates with guys from an on line datng site when out of the blue 2 months later he texted me and asked how I was doing. We chatted then he asked if I fancied meeting up for old times sake. I told him that my feelings hadn't changed and I still couldn't handle nsa sex. He said OK. We chatted on and off for a couple of weeks then he asked if I fancied meeting up just for a catch up. I asked if it was for sex and he said no. I agreed because I thought maybe he had decided he liked me for more than sex. He came to my town and we had a lovely afternoon together but I was fighting him off most of the time! I did text before he came and reiterated that it was just lunch and no sex and he said he was fine with that. He texted after and said that he had a lovely afternoon and thanks. A week later he texted and asked if I wanted to go to his place that day. I told him it was short notice and I was busy so he suggested a few days later. I replied and said I can't see him for sex and I know he doesn't want more so what would be the point. He said that he likes me, likes my company and has a strong physical attraction to me but doesn't want to mess me about - that was it and I haven't replied. So I'm upset all over again and am taking it personally. I feel that he did lead me on a little this time. I really like him, feel a connection and he makes me laugh. I know I have to stay no contact and forget him but do you think he wants a relationship just not with me? He seemed genuinely interested in my life and whether I was seeing anyone.

Ha just read my question back to myself and realise how pathetic I sound! Seeing it written down makes it clear why he got back in touch with me! Do you think I;m right to feel a little upset that I make it v clear I wasn't going to sleep with him and he said that was fine as he liked me but then I had to fight him off all day? I'm proud that I didn't give in as I was seriously tempted! I just don't understand why he would drive an hour just for sex when it was probable that he wouldn't get it. He is attractive and I#m sure he can't be that desperate!

I'm guessing he thought he could persuade you to have sex. After all, he's a real charmer, or thinks he is, right? And you gave in before. So what's the harm? He thinks.

I think you're right. I just keep taking it personally and thinking that if I was special enough he would want more.

LOL, Driving an hour for the CHANCE of sex, is NOTHING! Just learn to stop replying to this fellow. Then you will not lead yourself down the path of false hope.

I think you did wonderfully to stay strong enough to not let him charm you into his bed. Good work with that!

You're asking a bunch of questions still about what it means that he was interested in your life and told you he liked your company, et al.

Trust me, if this guy wanted to be with you, wanted to actually show you he was serious and wanted a relationship... you would know it. A man (or any person for that matter) who is serious about his/her intentions will let the person they fancy know beyond a doubt what his/her intentions are.

Do not settle for less!