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JamesRusnak · Dec 28, 2008, 12:28 AM

Originally Posted by J_Nannen

Can you go into detail, if possible: Did you always want to hang out, or her? Also, how often per-week did you hang out?

As for her letting go, it's a real possibility. She has things on her mind, and her mind will tell her what to do. Just hope she doesn't think you're suffocating her.

We hung out everyday since October 1-dec 22.

We go to the same college. We'd see each other every day in school. She would come over every day, we hung out every weekend. We'd skip class to go back to my place and *... *

We'd send 500+ txts' to each other a month

We'd call each other when we woke up in the morning

She would wake me up for school

We did everything together.

Everything.

J_Nannen · Dec 28, 2008, 12:43 AM

Originally Posted by JamesRusnak

we hung out everyday since october 1-dec 22.

we go to the same college. we'd see each other every day in school. she would come over every day, we hung out every weekend. we'd skip class to go back to my place and *....*

we'd send 500+ txts' to each other a month

we'd call each other when we woke up in the morning

she would wake me up for school

we did everything together.

everything.

Wow, OK. Yeah, that's a bit much. I would think seeing each other a couple times a week would suffice? Not to mention you already see her at school.

If you are the one wanting all this time, you may have to learn to step off. People need their space. Suffocating a person is a good way to make them lose interest. Brunt, but the truth.

expat2009 · Dec 28, 2008, 12:49 AM

That's the thing right there.. you guys did EVERYTHING together, which left no time for yourselves as individuals... you neglected friends and other things that are important as well. I think if a relationship becomes this interdependent than sooner or later one or the other (or both) will realise this, become confused, and decide to take some time off and rethink it all.

Let her be herself give her the time and space she wants... meanwhile, try to regain some of that life you had before you were together. NC does work to heal you, but you have to be patient and strong.

JamesRusnak · Dec 28, 2008, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by expat2009

thats the thing right there..you guys did EVERYTHING together, which left no time for yourselves as individuals....you neglected friends and other things that are important as well. I think if a relationship becomes this interdependent than sooner or later one or the other (or both) will realise this, become confused, and decide to take some time off and rethink it all.

let her be herself give her the time and space she wants...meanwhile, try to regain some of that life you had before you were together. NC does work to heal you, but you have to be patient and strong.

Last night we were texting each other... she sent the following texts right after me

***
Michelle- so then its over. If you can't give me time to think then I can't be with you . I love you james. Ill talk to you in a week.

*

How's it looking ?

expat2009 · Dec 28, 2008, 01:32 PM

Man, I'm sorry to hear that but she's pretty clear about it... by not giving her the space she asked you are just pushing her away. And I know its incredibly hard, Im going through the same thing but you got to be strong and think about yourself. The last couple of days were pretty tough for me, couldn't sleep much or eat much so I know the pain you must be feeling on your chest well.

Now is the time to go NC and probably not a good idea to talk to her next week or for a long time as it will just add more pain to what you feel.

JamesRusnak · Dec 28, 2008, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by expat2009

man, i'm sorry to hear that but she's pretty clear about it...by not giving her the space she asked you are just pushing her away. And I know its incredibly hard, Im going through the exact same thing but you gotta be strong and think about yourself. The last couple of days were pretty tough for me, couldnt sleep much or eat much so I know the pain you must be feeling on your chest well.

Now is the time to go NC and probably not a good idea to talk to her next week or for a long time as it will just add more pain to what you feel.

Yeah your right.

I sent her the last texts today I have nothing more to say.

I forwarded her txts' that she sent me a while back

"i mean i wanna be with you for a long time so please just think of me when your tempted in Toronto"

Another one I forwarded to her that she sent me was-- "i want to talk to you- I can't sleep and I miss you. Good night call me tomorrow

She didn't text back and I have nothing more to say

Ill leave her for her week

I just want her back.

Were not even spending new years together anymore

I don't know anymore

sully123 · Dec 28, 2008, 01:59 PM

Sorry, but you are just pushing her away further. Let her breathe! As hard as it is, don't contact her in a week either, its way too soon. YOUR letting her dangle you, and setting yourself up for hurt. It will never work this way, what you are doing.

sully123 · Dec 28, 2008, 02:00 PM

James, I broke up with an ex, over a year and a half ago. Now only after 17 months have we spoke and became friends. I tried like you did, the biggest mistake of my life.. Eveytime you contact that person, its one extra day.Maintain NC.. please and good luck.

411Help · Dec 28, 2008, 04:16 PM

Why aren't listening to us? We are telling you to give her, her space. Now do it.

kctiger · Dec 28, 2008, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by 411Help

Why aren't listening to us? We are telling you to give her, her space. Now do it.

Easier said than done. Sometimes, we have to make the mistakes ourselves before we realize the magnitude of what we have done. I know I did, and now I am on here telling people not to do what I did, most of the time they don't listen however...

We will still be here for you even if you do make the same mistakes we tell you to avoid! Good luck!

411Help · Dec 28, 2008, 04:24 PM

Sorry, I didn't mean to come off as being rude. I was simply stating that, clearly, you are pushing this girl away. And, if you want any chance of being with her, you need to give her, her space.

JamesRusnak · Dec 28, 2008, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by 411Help

Sorry, I didn't mean to come off as being rude. I was simply stating that, clearly, you are pushing this girl away. And, if you want any chance of being with her, you need to give her, her space.

She's got her space.

411Help · Dec 28, 2008, 04:25 PM

That's good, I'm proud of you. Keep it up!

JamesRusnak · Dec 28, 2008, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by 411Help

That's good, im proud of you. Keep it up!

I sent this to her ealrier today-

Hey just wanted to apologize for my behaviour yesturday I didn't mean to be insensitive to your feeling in any way I understand where your coming from and w/e aount of time you need to think things through take all time you need. When your ready to give \me shout ill be here.

She replied saying-- "thank you, you have no idea how i feel"

What do you think?

kctiger · Dec 28, 2008, 04:28 PM

I think you need to quit texting her. Giving space means NO CONTACT period. No excuses. Erase yourself from her life until she finds you...

411Help · Dec 28, 2008, 04:29 PM

I don't approve of that message. You're basically saying that she should take all the space that she needs, in meanwhile ill be sitting here mopping around waiting for you while you put my life on pause. I think you need to build a life without this girl. Because, you waiting for her to make a "Decision" is no fair to you.

JamesRusnak · Dec 28, 2008, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by 411Help

I don't approve of that message. You're basically saying that she should take all the space that she needs, in meanwhile ill be sitting here mopping around waiting for you while you put my life on pause. I think you need to build a life without this girl. Because, you waiting for her to make a "Decision" is no fair to you.

No you don't get it. She need space because she wants time with her family and she never sees her friends she feels she's changing and she doesn't want too

She just needs to realizee that our situation is fixable and next week hopefully well just end her troubles with being back together

I'm there for her and yes I am waiting on her decision because the things we have together I can never picture the same with another woman although with another woman there won't be those 'moments' I had with this girl and I don't want these moments to end with the girl I'm with right now while she's going through this tough time

JamesRusnak · Dec 28, 2008, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by 411Help

I don't approve of that message. You're basically saying that she should take all the space that she needs, in meanwhile ill be sitting here mopping around waiting for you while you put my life on pause. I think you need to build a life without this girl. Because, you waiting for her to make a "Decision" is no fair to you.

I love her too mcuh and have never let myself to fall in love with a woman before as I have with this girl.. we've already been through the THICK and thin in our 3 months. We've had arguments where she's cried she's done thing to piss me off and she cried saying she wants to be with me

She loves me

This girl did my 25% final english essay for me

I think that says it all

kctiger · Dec 28, 2008, 04:42 PM

You are absolutely blinded by love right now, and I for one am tired of hearing you say that your situation is so much different than the million other people that have come on here with the same problem... You really think you can just "fix" things? You really think you can make her realize things are "fixable?"

I wish you luck, but I fear you are going to hit a brick wall really quickly. I hope I am wrong, but you seem way to needy, and you are acting like a baby right now... just my opinion.

JamesRusnak · Dec 28, 2008, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

You are absolutely blinded by love right now, and I for one am tired of hearing you say that your situation is so much different than the million other people that have come on here with the same problem...You really think you can just "fix" things? You really think you can make her realize things are "fixable?"

I wish you luck, but I fear you are going to hit a brick wall really quickly. I hope I am wrong, but you seem way to needy, and you are acting like a baby right now...just my opinion.

She said I was the best boyfriend she has had yet.

Aybe I am blinded by love

Maybe I am not

What she's going through with me there's no point in her wanting another boyfriend I've heard her say one weekend couple weeks back that she has never been as open with another boyfriend before as she is with me and its true