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newborn24 · Dec 31, 2009, 06:40 AM

Today she just came back from her overseas trip. She didn't contact me at all. To be honest, I still feel upset, especially on days like new year's eve when I used to spend it with her.

It sucks when I was watching the TV and was reminded of her. It sucks that the feelings that I thought were gone suddenly came back again. I thought I was stronger than this but almost the whole day I am thinking about her, wondering will she call me to tell her about the trip.

And the thing is that my mind has accepted that our break-up is a done deal and enough reasons were there to convince me not to try getting back together with her but my heart refuses to let go. Terrible battle between heart and mind.

amicon · Dec 31, 2009, 06:46 AM

That battle is normal.
Eventually your mind will win.
I hope you have something lined up for the eve.

newborn24 · Dec 31, 2009, 10:14 AM

My Ex just text me a simple new yr message and told me she's back already.
I am tempted to message back.
I wished there was way that I can keep in touch with her but still move on.

newborn24 · Dec 31, 2009, 10:16 AM

I am actually dying to find out more about her trip but then at the same time, I do not know what will happen.

jmooney527 · Dec 31, 2009, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by newborn24

My Ex just text me a simple new yr msg and told me she's back already.
I am tempted to msg back.
I wished there was way that I can keep in touch with her but still move on.

There really isn't a way you can keep in touch with her AND move on at the same time. There's a reason why many of us preach NC after a breakup. You need time to clear your mind and let your broken heart heal. If you stay in touch you'll keep having that battle of heart/mind and it will drive you crazy. The longer you do NC the more you will realize she wasn't the right one for you and your mind will become more clear as to what you want the next time around. The trick is to keep reminding yourself of what YOU want and what YOU deserve. It's strange promoting selfishness but after a breakup it's what seems to help the most.

Hang in there, time heals all wounds!

newborn24 · Dec 31, 2009, 11:37 AM

Ok I will try but I still miss her very much! To be honest, if she were to turn back now, I may even contemplate getting back together with her :( But I know she wouldn't do that as she is rather stubborn and will stick to her decision, hence I do really need to move on.
If she keeps contacting me, do I reply with a message to ask her to leave me alone?
Thanks for your reply and happy new year to everyone out there :)

amicon · Dec 31, 2009, 11:40 AM

No not even that. Ignore,ignore and ignore.
I wish you happiness and peace of mind in the new year.

newborn24 · Jan 1, 2010, 09:17 AM

Yeah I managed to not reply to her sms :)
Btw, my friend was asking me why didn't I confront the third party. He felt that I did not even try fighting for my gal. He said I showed too much respect and back off too easily.

What do you think?

talaniman · Jan 1, 2010, 09:34 AM

I don't agree with your buddy at all as the new partner has nothing to do with your exes choice.

You don't have to fight for love dude, that's for idiots and fools.

sully123 · Jan 1, 2010, 09:41 AM

She has made it clear she doesn't want the relationship. It's something you have to understand. Her texting you is just giving you false hope, and dangling you but not for the reasons you think. I think she knows your hurting and you probably made that clear to her. She is walking down another path right now. Concentrate on you and your studies, and forget her, NC is the best way go. If you don't it will only delay all the pain and hurt. Good luck.

hheath541 · Jan 1, 2010, 12:31 PM

Any love you have to fight for, isn't worth winning in the end. You don't want to have to spend the rest of your life worrying and fighting to make sure you get to keep her. You want someone who loves you and WANTS to be with you, not someone you have to constantly convince to stay.

newborn24 · Jan 2, 2010, 11:23 PM

I broke NC by sending her an sms :( But turns out she's overseas for now so she did not reply me.
Finding it so hard to forget her from time to time :(
Sch starting next week, hopefully I will be able to pack myself with activities to occupy myself.

hheath541 · Jan 2, 2010, 11:34 PM

You don't need to forget her. That's impossible. What you need to do, is learn to live with the memories you made with her.

newborn24 · Jan 2, 2010, 11:40 PM

Its bad, really bad. Everyday, I act as if I am moving on but deep inside I know I am secretly hoping and wishing that we will get back together.
To go on this oversea trip with the girl, she even resort to lying to her family that she is going for a camp. I don't know what made her changed her so much and became so irresponsible.
She said she wants to live for herself and do the things that she wanted without other dictating them but at what expense.
I want to move on too but every 2 step forward I take 1 step back.

amicon · Jan 3, 2010, 12:24 AM

Even acting as if you are moving on-is moving on-sometimes we have to fake it till we make it.

valkman98 · Jan 3, 2010, 03:08 AM

I know it sucks right now but you must let it go, hard as it will be let it go. Do for you . Trust me keeping it on your mind,the "what ifs" will kill you. Stay busy is best.

newborn24 · Jan 4, 2010, 11:31 AM

First day of school today. I felt much much better after talking to one of my close classmate. Guess it really helps if there is someone out there to talk to haha.
Finally, I can say I am feeling good about my new single status. I can start to feel the excitement of knowing more people and for once I can look at girls without feeling guilty.
It feels great :D
Thanks everyone for your advice all these times.
I think I finally can pick myself up from now on.

amicon · Jan 4, 2010, 11:39 AM

That's good news. Keep busy and stay NC.
Good luck.

Triysle · Jan 4, 2010, 11:55 AM

You're right on about talking to people. Just make sure you let it be a conversation, and not a one-way rant ;)

You'll get through it man. And you'll make some dumb choices along the way. But you'll learn from it and be that much better off next time around.

This is my first visit back to this site in months. It's been less than a year since I broke up with my "first love" and honestly, I still think about her a decent bit. But it gets to the point where you just get tired of being miserable and start making a life of your own again. Remember that life of your own? You had one before you met her; try finding it again. Reconnect with old friends, get into all those things you used to do before her, and go out and meet new people and do new things too!

You'll find that there is so much more to life than just sitting on the couch watching TV with someone. It's fun to do that sometimes, don't get me wrong; but there's so, so, sooo much more out there!

Anyway sorry for ranting, I just want ya to know that everyone here on the forum is rooting for ya! We've all been through something similar, so don't be ashamed of what you're feeling! And if anyone thinks negatively about you, it's only because they've forgotten what it was like (or never went through it at all ;)).

~ Tee

newborn24 · Jan 8, 2010, 08:24 AM

Oh no I am worried about my ex. She has not return from her trip yet and they are expected to return today. I am worried as a friend cause they did not inform her parents about the trip (lied about going to some camp) and if anything were to happen to her, I will blame myself for not discouraging her to go.
It really goes to show how responsible she and the girl are :(