Oh, and about the whining thing...
Its okay if you are whiny... Just as long as you are doing something about...
From my personal experience, my partner kept whining and never did anything about it, I would try to help him out, but he kept saying its too hard, or I can't do that, or some other lame excuse.. and I hated it... all I wanted for him to do was to get off his a** and do something about it, no matter how small..

I completely agree with you 100%

What I meant was that he shouldn't rush into dating because it seemed as if he might when he said he met 3 pretty ladies... so I just said what I said before so he doesn't just get it on to quickly...

Thank you all so much for your comments! They really help me. And unspeaken21... yeah she is selfish. Our mutual friend told her that she shouldn't "use" me when she gets lonely... for me to go over and do it with her and all... she told him that "she doesnt feel that way"

And, he told her that if she doesn't love me then to break it off... because I sure do love her!

How about that guys? And the thing is that he was HER friend from childhood... hes defending me!!

You wouldn't need defense if you would actually quit LETTING her do these things to you.

Just sayin'

Just waiting for you to progress beyond this point!! Then we can talk, and you can get busy.

Interesting comment talaniman...

I'm going to think about that. Really think.

Does anyone else out there agree with talaniman?

Please let me know...

Yes. Without self respect you can't really have the determination to get through this... if you don't respect yourself, then your effort will only be half a$$, as you don't really care enough to do this.

I completely agree with Tal, we have all been trying so nicely to keep you moving in the right direction and listening to you talk backwards and with empty thoughts.

You are still in No Contact which is wonderful, but you are still in some delusion that she will come running back to you and I know right now if she called you, you would go back.

Not uncommon, but it's not healthy and your progress seems one step for every two regressive steps. We want to see you out of this, but it's almost like you spend too much time STILL thinking about it when you should be thinking about you and new things you could be doing to move forward with your life, you are taking an exceptionally long self-pity/denial stage. We just want to help you PROGRESS forward beyond this stage.

crazyoverher... just bite the bullet and go through... whenever you start to think of her, force yourself to stop that thinking by doing something... whatever you enjoy doing etc.

Is normal to feel the pain and grief once awhile, but just be determine enough to endure... soon everything will get better... day by day... good luck...

Wow unspeaken21, is really different in ladies point of view, I mean I would like to hear your opinion too at my post, hope you can leave me a comment. Thanks in advance.


Anyway crazyoverher, I think I being a hardcore fan of your post already. Haha... once I log in to this site, I will look for your post and hope to hear your update. Because I really hope you could, like what others say, get better soon.

Its been sad when sometimes I heard about your scenario, because I too face the similar situtation but my relationship with my ex is shorter.

Anyway, I just want to say, the thing to worry about is not about getting her back or wanting to let her know you had changed. The thing now is for you to be confident about yourself, gaining back your self-respect or just simply be happy with yourself. Do things for yourself. Don't do anything because you want to let her know you had changed etc.
Changed overall for yourself only, for what you are happy with. Only when you are happy with yourself, people will feel happy to be around you right ?

So now go get busy to find a job soon ! Good luck!

We will hear from you again ~ :p

Justwantfair.. mrpigz.. kc... everyone.

OK. I will try like hell to get through this stage and your right, if she called id take her back. I will try to build up my selfrespect and also do other things when I start to think of her.

I will endure...

Wow mrpigz... you hit DEAD on... with how I feel right now!

I have done that in the past... tried to show her I changed.. etc. and it seemed to work though... she came back and all was good UNTIL she saw me again, not good enough.

I remember that when I first met her.. the thing that attracted her to me was that I was the "" confident... didnt take any crap.. etc. of course I had a job and a lot of money back then too!! Hahaha...

But anyway, yeah, I agree, I need to change and be happy just for me. I was happy for about 3 days last week.

I just told myself... why are you being so sad? You have this.. and that... so just be happy and enjoy yourself...

And then, I started thinking of her again and how I miss her, love her... etc. and it got me down... especially the part of wondering WHY SHE LEFT ME AND WHAT I DID AND WHY SHE Doesn't WANT ME ANYMORE...

So your post helped me a lot. I can be happy without her. Its just that a part of me wishes that I was happy WITH HER and not without...

Hey everyone...

I know that this is going to sound weird... im not a "jesus" freak (not that there's anything wrong with that!)

But I went to the gym today.. and the water fountain was not working... so someone told me to go use another one in the gym... anyway, when I went to get a drink, I looked up and noticed a sign that read:

"I am too busy to be sad.
Too positive to be discouraged
Too determined to be defeated."

Odd. It's the only sign in the gym. Coincidence? Me wanting to find meaning? I don't know... just know that its weird.. with everything going on and all...

Comments?

Yep. I saw signs all the time.

Did you really imtotallylost?

Or are we just WANTING to see things?

Yeah. Most of it were signs that I should keep moving on, and a lot of them were signs that I wasn't doing the right thing (like being mean to my ex or things like that). Most of it were in songs. It was like I was thinking of something and I heard this song on the radio which related to what I was thinking.

I did become a heck more spiritual after this break-up, having a lot to do with me not being able to understand what was going on and at some point having to let the universe take care of everything else and me taking care only of myself.

Hmmmm...

I guess all I can do is accept and give up any control I think or want to have. Just let it be.

Some things we can't control and can't change or prevent.

In my opinion... the sign meant for me that whatever happens... im responsible or accountable to myself ultimately. No one can help me do it but me. It was like someone was telling me that... weird.

Yeah. If you want to read my story, you'll get more details, but basically I was left without really knowing why and I can't really find a flaw in my relationship - except that it was LDR and that she wanted to end it.

So I had to give up understanding what happened, and I have to give up fighting for a woman I really wanted but there was nothing I could do about it. So I just had to leave all the mess to God (or whoever else) to sort it up and take care of myself.

I guess I discovered how strong real love is. I guess this was my spiritual epiphany.