I have to think somewhere she is on another message board asking the question: "What is wrong with him? He continues to fall for every stupid thing I do! Is he immature, is he just crazy?? I mean, what??"

:cool:

destiny..Her problem is not wanting to let you go but not wanting you either and your letting her keep you hanging on!!!

Why would she not let me go but not want me either??

Anyone?

I've got to go to the gym... get my frustrations out... ill be back in a bit... but comments are aprreciated..

She doesn't want to let you go because she knows you're a good man and doesn't want anyone else to have you.

Don't let her do it

This is destined to be one of those 'sticky threads' for what NOT to do when you break up. Unless of course you feel the need to be someone's doormat.

Destiny...

She doesn't want to let you go because she knows you're a good man and doesn't want anyone else to have you.

If this is true... then why is doesn't she want me? It doesn't make sense. Does she just want me to be "backup" for when SHE is ready? After doing what she is going to do with others or what?

Confused.

She's playing a game with your emotions. Wanting something when you think you can't have it, when you get it you don't want it. Let her be to play her games without you. Its not worth it, you won't get the happy ending or change in her you want. It just won't happen so let her go and leave it alone.

OK destiny09... just wanted clarification...

I haven't heard anyhing from her so far... ill keep you all posted... meanwhile... im just talking to some new friends... maybe going to go out tomorrow night with them.

Crazy, crazy, crazy!!

You are letting her keep you close, and available to her. WHY she does this? Yes its true she doesn't want an official relationship with you, but she does want you in the "friend zone" so she can have you without any commitment, or guilt, until someone else comes along.

Then she doesn't have to break up with you, just do whatever she wants, and cut face time with you, until she is too busy schmoozing some other guy, to be there for you at all.

A brilliant strategy, used by females (and males for sure) for centuries, so you see, she doesn't have to take you back because as long as she is on your mind, and you can't get your own life, and disappear from hers, she has you where she wants you, the way she wants you, when she wants you, however she wants you. Got that?

Thats why we tell you to stop All contacts, and ignore ALL texts, and you disappear from her life.

If you don't, any misery and pain, is YOUR fault, and not hers. And that what she will tell you when she gets another guy, and leaves you dead in the dust, its your fault not hers because she told you she wanted a break, but you just kept coming back for more, on your own.

Now you know the whole story, what are you going to do??

talaniman...

You see, THAT is what I suspected she was up to but unsure about it... because I couldn't tell if she was just you know, borderline personality... and maybe had some mental issues... and because of that... needed some time... to get her act together... or if as you say, its part of a bigger plan she has to keep me involved and ease her guilt so that she can just dump me again when she has another guy...

Meanwhile... she does exactly as you say!

Thanks for telling that to me straight... because I was confused... I don't want to be used like that... ill make sure that by having no contact, that SHE is the one who experiences pain... the pain of me NOT responding to her.

Any more pearls of wisdom... are welcomed... ill keep you posted on what she does next... im sure that she's going to try something...

And ps...

The way she has always treated me in the past is how you describe what she would do... its very errie how when I was reading your comments and was thinking that SHE is going to do exactly what you say she's going to do..

I just don't know or understand how this woman can be so cruel to me... someone whom she's loved for 5 years... no self pity.. just confounded... or how I LET her do this... for all these years...

Don't sweat it, you didn't know any better, now you do. That's the difference. Hey when it happened to me, I didn't know any better either.

I agree. Don't reply to the texts, don't be the nice guy here. She is expecting you to be the nice guy and is throwing you bits and pieces here and there to make sure she stays on your mind.

You blow her off and ignore her and she feels that she needs to send you an email to tell you she is taking a break... oh give ME a break. She's trying to protect her self image by saying she broke off with you, NOT you with her.

She knows what she is doing and she is doing it on purpose and you are falling for it every time. She's playing you and you are letting her.

It will NEVER make sense, you will never figure it out. Once you think you have, she will just mix it up again.

Personally, if it were me and I would have gotten the text about the break up after all that had happened... I would have texted back that ONE time to say "I'm one step ahead of you" and then no more contact.

I know I shouldn't say to do that, but right now, I'm burning up.

She wants you to miss her, she wants you to be lonely. She doesn't want you to miss her because she cares and misses you... she wants you to miss her because she wants CONTROL. It's all about her and control.

She uses people like a drug. She sounds like a narcasist to me, and that's what they do, use people as drugs. She needs you to worship her, and you do. She needs you to miss her, and you do.

Why does she need these things? It feeds her ego.. it makes her feel like she is all that she pretends to be and without that reinforcement, they go bazerk.

They think everyone else is below them. Ever catch her saying something to you and then later denying she ever said it... even if it were two minutes ago? They make you feel like you are losing your mind and you are at fault... sound familiar?

DO NOT EMAIL. DO NOT TEXT. DON'T REPLY.

You owe this to yourself.

Yeah... thats funny because in her email about the Break up... or Time off... she said at the end... of it that she NEEDS to do this... for HERSELF.! How about that...

Yeah, I won't text her back... but if she's this crazy... do you think if I'm not a nice guy and just let her have her way... U know, make her THINK that she's winning.. that she's going to go psycho on me?

Remember people that she DID come to my apartment complex and TOOK a pic of my car to PROVE to me that I was here and that I didn't go somewhere else... when we had a fight..! :O

How do I extracate myself out of her life completely... then... or like you say... just continue to go NC and then come back here for advice if she begins to go crazy?

Thanks

You just do it. You will drive yourself crazy trying to analyze why she is the way she is... it will not make any sense. No one knows what she is because all they have is your side of things.

If she texts, don't reply.
If she emails, don't reply.
If she calls, don't answer.
If she has one of her friends get in touch with her... change the subject or just say you would rather not talk about her.

She's doing what she's doing because YOU ARE LETTING HER.

She's going to do crazy things that make NO sense. Expect that . You are not going to get any straight answers.

JUST STOP IT !

Doesn't matter what she does, if you are confronted, let her do the crazy stuff. If your doing what you should be doing for yourself, leaving her alone, then its up to her to be smart, and take the hint, and leave you alone.

When someone cannot push your buttons, and get a reaction from you, they lose all control over you, and you keep your power.

Just never let her bait you into something stupid. That's why you just vanish from her life, and let her play games with someone else.

The good news is if she takes the hint, your good to go. The other good news is, if she doesn't take the hint, you'll see how crazy she really is. You win either way.

Very interesting... way of viewing things thanks a lot people..!

Ill keep u posted...

I DO KNOW THAT SHE ALWAYS has to be "the one in control" all the time... and she even admitted that to me...

Anyway...

Its all very good everyone giving you the advice but if you, within yourself still can't let go its falling on deaf ears.

We are all here to help and give advice where we can but only you can action it.

Try to take some time out, have a good think about yourself and what you want from here.

You need to really put her behind you, to start thinking that way and reading your responses to the advice given you don't sound like you have let go and would go back instantly if she asked.

There is no understanding a woman like that, I doubt even she knows why she does what she does so you have NO chance

In my opinion our friend Crazy has no desire to move on yet. He's waiting on someone to tell him that if he does A, B, and C she'll come running back to him.

I think we've all been there. Advice isn't going to help he's going to have to suffer this one out himself and gather a little life experience so the next time he's a little better prepared and makes some better choices in handling the situation.

74 pages of good advice would suggest you have a very valid point.

Carry on Crazy... :cool:

Tal, is right on. You win with NC.

Once you ignore her completely, she won't have you to manipulate any longer.

Be strong and take control over this.

Don't give her the satisfaction of hurting you for another minute.