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    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #41

    Mar 12, 2010, 02:38 PM

    You really had taked to my heart on that one. Thank you Kp. But one question how am I being there how am I helping her get over me. I'm not an expert on relationship and I don't have that many experiances on it. My mind is telling myself that if she really did move on or if she really is taking to another man, then why is she txting me and wanting me to call her. Please help me cause I feel like cause you guys are finally making this all make since. Could it be that she really wants a break or what are the signs that she might be talking to some one else. I just have so many questions in my head and I hope you guys can answer them. Are all women the same when it comes down to breaking up. How would I know when its over its really over.
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #42

    Mar 12, 2010, 07:31 PM

    "..how am i being there how am i helping her get over me. "

    By making yourself so available and at her feet. Now she's under the impression that she can do what she wants and you'll still be there when she's done.
    Girls just want validation, their goal is to see you go crazy over them. You are very near officially giving her her validation. And once she gets that.. it's on to the next one.

    "..if she really did move on or if she really is taking to another man, then why is she txting me and wanting me to call her."

    Same thing.. she wants to find out how vulnerable you are. And how much power she has over you. Her answer will effect her next moves.


    Maybe next time you get stuck talking to her say something sternly along the lines of:
    Listen, your really screwing with my head right now.. just call me when you're done with the mind games and ready to be serious and know what you want.
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #43

    Mar 12, 2010, 07:56 PM

    "Coruzzi" is there some way where I can turn this on her... I mean how can I get her feeling the way I am feeling. Is there any way or am I just out of luck. How can I stay in contact with her but I don't make it seem like I am available and vulnerable.
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #44

    Mar 12, 2010, 08:08 PM

    You can do that by the NC rule!
    It is indeed absolutely possible. And actually bound to happen if you put the effort in, It isn't easy though. You must suffer through it.
    But like I said before, the results are well worth it. :)


    Just tell her what I told you to say at the end of my last post, and from there. NO CONTACT.
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #45

    Mar 12, 2010, 08:11 PM

    So lets say once I do the no contact do you think she will just eventually move on and forget about me? Or what do you think is going on her mind
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #46

    Mar 12, 2010, 08:17 PM

    No, not at all.. quite the opposite..
    The only one that might get over it and move on is you!
    Try.


    But yeah, quite the opposite, it'll drive her nuts, she'll wonder where you are, what you are doing, why you aren't talking to her, if you're moving on, talking to someone else, all these questions will be running through her mind. Probably already are.
    But that's not even the main reason for NC. The main reason is so that she can be thrown off her pedistool and thing wait, why isn't he at me feet right now? It'll backfire. And things will change as soon as that hits her.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,314, Reputation: 10854
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    #47

    Mar 12, 2010, 08:28 PM

    NC will stop the mind games, so you can get your mind back, and see her for what she is, Then you can decide if she is worth it, or not!

    NC is no contact whatsoever, NONE, NADA, KAPUT!

    You might even learn something you need to know!
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #48

    Mar 12, 2010, 08:28 PM

    So let me ask you this. IF a girl been with this guy for awhile you two have your fight here and there but most of all you two spend all your time together and you two were so much in love and then you two break up do you think a women can move on so fast and run into another guys arms. I'm not hurting as bad as I was but I want her to atless feel the pain I went through and for her to know that I did my best to be the best man that I can be.
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #49

    Mar 12, 2010, 08:37 PM

    Honestly no, it's not hard.
    But these guys that are there to run to just see a vulnerable chick and see it as easy access.

    She'll be making a huge mistake if she does this, and she'll find that out, and there you go, she'll feel that pain. And more. Cause she'll also have lots of self pitty for being so dumb and missing out on something so great.
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #50

    Mar 12, 2010, 08:51 PM

    Coruzzi can I atless text her but that much and not show too much emotion and not let her think that I am vulnerable. Do you think that is also as effective or just do the whole no contact
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #51

    Mar 12, 2010, 09:52 PM

    NOOO CONTACT! That would be the most expressive way to do it..
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #52

    Mar 15, 2010, 08:44 PM

    Ok so I've been in no contact for about 3 days now with my ex now. Pain comes and go as time passes by. This morning a got a missed call from her. I'm wondering why she called me, and what is the reason why she called. So bad I want to give her a call back and want to hear her voice but I know I have to stick with the no contact. What do you think I should do, should I call her and ask what does she wants or should I just leave it alone. Thanks everyone for the help
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #53

    Mar 15, 2010, 09:46 PM

    LEAVE IT ALONE!
    NOOOO CONTACT!

    Hang in there, you've gotten this far, don't give it up now!
    It'll get easier as time goes by.
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #54

    Mar 15, 2010, 09:49 PM

    I know I haven't called her. But why do you think she called? Thas what I've been wondering all day today
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #55

    Mar 15, 2010, 09:56 PM

    Probably to get you right back where you were! Don't fall for it. Don't be anyone's puppet!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,314, Reputation: 10854
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    #56

    Mar 15, 2010, 10:08 PM

    Geez guy, contrary to popular belief, none of us is psychic, or that smart to know why she called. We just know exes do. And that you should stay NC.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #57

    Mar 15, 2010, 10:12 PM

    Exes need to stay that way!
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #58

    Mar 15, 2010, 10:17 PM

    I know you guys are right. But is it natural to have be thinking if I call her and have a good conversation and maybe both of us might works things through. That's just what's been going on in my head the what if's, maybe, and is she calling cause she wants to work things out.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #59

    Mar 15, 2010, 10:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Showme_urmove View Post
    i know you guys are right. But is it natural to have be thinking if i call her and have a good conversation and maybe both of us might works things through. thats just whats been going on in my head the what if's, maybe, and is she calling cause she wants to work things out.

    How long until she wants space again? She knows she has you right where she wants you. If you want to come through this with yourself respect intact, then leave her alone or better yet, tell her to leave you alone!
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #60

    Mar 15, 2010, 10:27 PM

    Your right kitkat. Another question to ask, why do getting back together rarely works? Have anyone tried and made the relationship even better. Just questions floating in my head

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