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    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #21

    Mar 11, 2010, 06:57 PM
    I'm trying to do the no contact rule. But I just feel so empty.
    Just recently my girl friend broke up with me, and just 2 days ago I started the no contact rule. I feel so empty and I just want to pick up my cell phone and call her asking her to be mine again. I know it sounds so stupid but I just feel so much pain and every second I just keep thinking about how it was. I just sign myself up in the gym and kept myself busy but I just can't get her off my head. My mind don't want her but my heart wants to be with her. Please give me some advice on how to get myself through this. I know I sound so pathetic but this is the first time I got my heart broken and I just don't like the feeling. Why did I fall in love with the person that don't treat me right.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,314, Reputation: 10854
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    #22

    Mar 11, 2010, 07:21 PM

    Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #23

    Mar 11, 2010, 11:08 PM

    Hang in there hun, if you're patient and strong, the result will be so fullfilling. You'll feel so good when she comes back to you crying and most likely you won't care anymore.. and it'll be her time to suffer. It's so worth it..
    The only question that should be in your mind is what you can do meanwhile..
    The best cure.. other girls!
    Talk and meet new girls, the gym is full of oppourtinities!
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #24

    Mar 11, 2010, 11:23 PM

    I'm doing my best to move on but I can't stop but think what I did wrong. I have never felt this kind of pain in my life and I just want to take my heart off and throw it to the dogs that's how much pain I'm in. I tried working hard on my business and go to the gym but for some reason she's always on my mind. Tears just comes out of my eyes for no reason how pathetic is that. I would want her to come back crying her feeling the suffering but I doubt that. I'm thinking she is telling another guy I love you while I'm here hurting. Is a suckey feeling. I just need help with this cause its my first time ever feeling something like this.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #25

    Mar 11, 2010, 11:39 PM
    Sadly,these feelings will come and go for some time-thats how getting over a breakup works.

    Keeping busy will help you take your mind off things.
    Make sure you see friends and family.

    Personally,comedy films and books work for me,laughter is a great thing.

    Keep going and take care.
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #26

    Mar 11, 2010, 11:56 PM

    I just found her belongings here in my room what should I do with it. Should I give it to her, or should I throw it away, I know stuff that she left she needs it. What should I do with it?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #27

    Mar 12, 2010, 12:08 AM

    Pack it up and ask a good friend to take it to hers.
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #28

    Mar 12, 2010, 12:12 AM

    OK my ex just called and she text saying to call her and its about 11:11 what the hell is she trying to do. Is she over me or is she playing games, or does she want me back?
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #29

    Mar 12, 2010, 12:15 AM

    Just keep it somewhere.. somewhere you don't have to look at it and think of her.. and then one day she'll have to see you to get it, and make sure you look real good and make it quick, as if you got to go be somewhere and be nice as if she doesn't phase you :)



    As for the pain, I know it sucks, I wish I could help you out on that one.. but its something only time can heal. You got to accept that everything happens for reasons, and end up either short term or long term being for the better. TRUST ME. And there's nothing you can do to change it, so why bother dreading it.. life is wayyyy to short to throw all happiness away over some bimbo. Or anything really.
    I know how it feels. My first big heart breaks I couldn't eat, id feel like I'm going to gag, I couldn't sleep, go anywhere without thinking of him, nothing.. but in the long run, its just experience that's good to have and have over and done with. Go out and make contact with people. Socialize. Meet new people so the old can fade away.
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #30

    Mar 12, 2010, 12:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Showme_urmove View Post
    ok my ex just called and she text saying to call her and its about 11:11 what the hell is she trying to do. is she over me or is she playing games, or does she want me back?


    Oh wow.. sayy something insinuating that you're busy, ask can it wait?

    Her response will most likely give off some kind of hint as to what she wants
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #31

    Mar 12, 2010, 12:19 AM

    What do you think she wants she's been calling like crazy... I want to call and hear her voice but I don't know
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #32

    Mar 12, 2010, 12:21 AM

    I thought she was telling you to call her?
    Has she called after that?
    If not, text what I said before..
    To find out.
    Cause I have no idea.. she could want anything.. but most likely you.
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #33

    Mar 12, 2010, 12:24 AM

    Yea she did and I called back like 2 times and she did not answer she's screwing my fu*** head
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #34

    Mar 12, 2010, 12:28 AM

    Okay no more calling her.


    You shouldn't have.


    But its okay if you look at it as you tried returning it, but she didn't answer. So screw her.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #35

    Mar 12, 2010, 12:30 AM

    No contact,remember?
    If you let her get to you,you end up with this confusion and it sets you back.

    Ignore her.
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #36

    Mar 12, 2010, 12:52 AM

    I am so sorry but I just break the no contact rule. I had a talk with her and I ask her what do you want to do. Do you want me to just leave and just vanished from your life 4eva. She said no I've never said that she said we just need to take a break and talk more and hope we fix things out. I ask her if she wants to go and see other people but she said that she doesn't want to and she wants to keep talking so we can get this worked out. What do you think she is saying. I am lost and confused I want to believe her but also I don't want to end up hurting, do you think she really do want to make this work one last time is she just playing games.
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #37

    Mar 12, 2010, 01:05 AM

    What does your instinct tell you?
    If you feel your not done with her yet, then go with it..

    But please don't make yourself so available to her, or else she'll take advantage of your apparent vulnerability to her. Don't just give yourself to her, make sure she knows you mean business.. or else you do have a lot more pain coming your way cause you will be taken advantage of. Just don't make it so easy. Remember, you have a say in this too. She needs to know that.. she can't be running the show like that.. she's playing you like a puppet.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #38

    Mar 12, 2010, 01:13 AM

    Most often this means something along the lines of'I'd like to keep you hanging around as a backup plan'.

    If there are issues in a relationship,you work on them within the relationship.

    Why break up and then continue to talk?


    Go back to NC.
    coruzzi2's Avatar
    coruzzi2 Posts: 86, Reputation: 7
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    #39

    Mar 12, 2010, 01:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Most often this means something along the lines of'I'd like to keep you hanging around as a backup plan'.

    If there are issues in a relationship,you work on them within the relationship.

    Why break up and then continue to talk?


    Go back to NC.
    Yeah.. she doesn't know what she wants right now.. she's a mess.. and she wants you to be something on the side for when it suites her. Keep you in check. Not cool.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #40

    Mar 12, 2010, 01:35 AM
    Dear lord...

    OK... well... go back and look at that entire pattern...

    She calls, you freak... she calls again, you freak... you breakdown and talk and what do you end up with?

    Nothing.

    She says she hopes you guys can maybe work it out.

    OK... what the hell does that mean? Give me some details. What specifically is being worked on?. cause if I told you my car wasn't quite right and you said to drop it off and you'll look at it... well... it isn't going to get fixed by wishful thinking.

    Yes... I completely understand its good to step back now and then... its even good for people in great relationships to give some space...

    But ALL that happened tonight is she reaffirmed her power over you. A few phone calls and you are a puddle. And after its all done you have NO IDEA why you are talking, what's better, what's being worked on... as far as I can tell.

    If I'm being a hardarse its cause I've been where you are and I've wasted way too many nights feeling like you felt tonight... and repeated it over and over... like you probably will... until you finally stop.

    So...

    You are not ready to be over her and you aren't frustrated enough to follow NC and that's OK. Its your lesson to learn.

    When you date someone, expect it to hurt when it ends. It should not be a shock.

    Expect that hurt to stick around. For a lot longer than you want. And try to accept that it is not something you need to "fix" at all costs... let yourself hurt so you can get through that critical part in shorter fashion.

    And, while I don't think anyone should waste energy in too many head games, understand that every time you give your ex power over you, and that's exactly what you did tonight, its like starting the process all over again... and you might cycle through this over and over until she's ready to move on... essentially by "being there" you are helping her get over you while you are still stuck. Awesome.

    k.

    I'm stepping out so others can help. I just don't have anything more I can add.

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