Check out some similar questions!

Chery · Nov 13, 2005, 08:09 PM

Jeff dear, STUFF happens, and you'll probably be dissapointed and enraged again in the future, but that's all part of life. Some people just don't have ethics or integrity and go to sleep at night thinking who they can mess up the next day. The world is that way, we have to face it and go our own ways or we will go crazy. Please chuck this off as a lesson learned. If it makes you feel any better, send her a postcard with just THANKS FOR NOTHING on it, or in a letter through her parents. I doubt it will phase her but it might make you feel better. I can't wait till the day you tell us about the great gal you met and how much better you feel, so get started on that project!

jeffatl · Nov 13, 2005, 08:15 PM

DELIMA: This girl I knew in HS just called we will call her "L". Now, L is a VERY cute girl, but she kind of freaked me out a while back, she told me she loved me and all this crap and I didn't even know her. I have hung out with her once out side of school like 4 years ago. I didn't treat her very nicely at the time because I had a girlfriend (my EX) and didn't want to lead her on. She was VERY aggressive twards me and one night I saw her at a party and I ignored her (the EX was there). I HATE being mean to people, but I really didn't want to hurt her feelings. I appologized once before for blowing her off, and then I kind of did it again. I felt so bad about it, and she wasn't too nice to me on the phone, but she called... wierd. The thing is, I am a bit afraid of this girl because I think she might be latchy, or that could have just been a long time ago... ideas?

Wildcat21 · Nov 13, 2005, 09:11 PM

"she is leaving tomorrow to go off to school, and she didnt even call to say goodbye to me." - why would you care. You want this louse out of your life. Move on. JUST more no respect for Jeff - get it? She never respected you.

Ughhhhh - one day you will get it. No more lap dog.

jeffatl · Nov 13, 2005, 09:45 PM

I get it man, but it doesn't mean that it STILL doesn't piss me off. I don't think that this is even a respect issue anymore. I might not respect someone, but it doesn't give me the right to treat them like crap. I will get over all this junk, and I have been doing a good job. I am just going through a ruff spot, and things will be better when she is gone for good. :o

Chery · Nov 14, 2005, 05:18 AM

Originally Posted by jeffatl

DELIMA: This girl I knew in HS just called we will call her "L". Now, L is a VERY cute girl, but she kind of freaked me out a while back, she told me she loved me and all this crap and I didnt even know her. I have hung out with her once out side of school like 4 years ago. I didnt treat her very nicely at the time because I had a girlfriend (my EX) and didnt want to lead her on. She was VERY agressive twards me and one night I saw her at a party and I ignored her (the EX was there). I HATE being mean to people, but I really didnt want to hurt her feelings. I appologized once before for blowing her off, adn then I kind of did it again. I felt so bad about it, and she wasnt too nice to me on the phone, but she called..................wierd. the thing is, I am a bit afraid of this girl because I think she might be latchy, or that could have just been a long time ago.....ideas?

Did this young lady know your ex? Apparently she knows that you will be without her around from now on, so she might just check and see if you have grown up or are still going to be the (your attitude in the past) 'agressive stupid-head' that you were. At least she is making the attempt to find out. If she calls again, talk to her, if not, then forget it. If you meet her on the street, be nice and say hello, that's all. Let her make the first move if she thinks she needs to forgive you for the past nastiness, then she might be someone worth getting to know better - we all change from our HS days, for better or worse - where do you fall in? You are still in the 'rebound' stage, so do be careful and don't make hasty choices, but it never hurts to be nice to people. As a matter of fact, it takes more time and energy to be nasty, so don't waste your precious time, use it constructively. Now you need to place anger on the back-burner and start over.

P.S. We do this on our free time and really appreciate feedback if our answers/advice helped or not, please: click the Rate This Post link, click on Approve or Disapprove, and give a comment. Thanks!

momincali · Nov 14, 2005, 02:37 PM

Jeff, I can understand the pissed offedness (did I just make that one up). She didn't say good bye more than likely for two reasons. 1.) The girl has a HUGE ego. That would portray her as a weak, tail between the legs kind of thing, giving you a second thought. The truth is that by not calling to say good bye, she gave exactly that image. What, how dare you know that she was leaving and be audacious enough to not fall all over yourself to say good bye and beg her not to go!! 2.) She's rude and chicken****! You had many years under your belt and the least she could have done was a quick 3 minute call to say hey, wish me luck, wish you the best, take care, have a good life... whatever. I'm not sure she has ever realmed the circumference beyond herself. If it doesn't benefit her, make her happy or inconveniences her, why do it?? Good riddens to her Jeff and congratulations to you, you survived! Your anger will pass, but I doubt you will forget real soon. Keep that in mind next time she sends you one of those cute little I miss you emails! ;)

Chery · Nov 14, 2005, 02:48 PM

Dear momincali, tried to rate you, but got the stupid message again to spread it.

I agree and said so many times in this thread, but maybe jeff will listen and pay attention to you, as he never seems to read what I say.. and after all the help we gave him, he does not even bother to rate any of us either... boy, I don't know what's wrong with some people, but that's life.. So, from now on it's you and wildcat, I'm out of this one as I hate 'talking to deaf ears'. Good luck to you and wildcat.

And happy thanksgiving..

jeffatl · Nov 14, 2005, 03:00 PM

Ummm not true, to prove it... "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Chery again." ALSO, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to momincali again" same goes for wildcat. I DO RATE! If someone gives me good advice, I repay the favor. I have rated a number of you. Also, I DO listen to the advice you guys give me, it is just a tuff situation to go through at times. Easy there, I show my appreciation if I can. I can't rate you again unitl I rate others, and others haven't really been giving me as good of advice. Look at your rep profile before you get mad at me for not rating please.

momincali · Nov 14, 2005, 03:06 PM

P.S. Jeff, stay FAR FAR AWAY from "L"! Aggressive, latchy... uh, not good. Besides, even if she has grown up a little and is not as aggressive and not as latchy, still not good. You weren't mean to ignore her, you had a girlfriend and didn't want to risk pissing her off (had you only known). If I had been ignored by you on a couple of different occasions, I'd get the message and would not continue to pursue it, most confident women would. Her calling you out of the blue kind of tells you she doesn't value herself too much or she's bored and is just wondering about you. Cute or not, don't open that door, I have a feeling you may regret it.

Chery · Nov 14, 2005, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by jeffatl

Ummm not true, to prove it.... "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Chery again." ALSO, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to momincali again" same goes for wildcat. I DO RATE! If someone gives me good advice, I repay the favor. I have rated a number of you. Also, I DO listen to the advice you guys give me, it is just a tuff situation to go through at times. Easy there, I show my appreciation if I can. I can't rate you again unitl I rate others, and others havent really been giving me as good of advice. Look at your rep profile before you get mad at me for not rating please.

I'm not mad at the ratings, just a little upset when you fall back and get angry over something that should be out of your skin, but I realized that with some it takes longer, I did get your attention though, thanks for the return reply. You need to get it out and that's good. Now, go and have some FUN!

Wildcat21 · Nov 14, 2005, 03:16 PM

Ughhhhhhhhhh this gal is so horrible and yet Jeff still has doormat feelings for her - she really did a number on him.

jeffatl · Nov 14, 2005, 03:17 PM

Agreed, I kind of see the same in her as my EX. My EX pursued me RELENTLESSLY, and I should have known from the start. I think I will stay out of this while I can. :D

jeffatl · Nov 14, 2005, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Ughhhhhhhhhh this gal is so horrible and yet Jeff still has doormat feelings for her - she really did a number on him.

I TOTALLY SEE YOUR POINT HERE! I think I need your type of "tuff love" because there is no other way to get this crap through my thick head.

This girl is, and always has been no good to me. From day one (month one) she cheated on me. Mistake #1= taking her back. Then, about a year or so later, she cheated again with one of my friends and lied to me about it for months. Mistake#2= taking her back. She manipulated my friends, family, and her family into thinking that I didn't treat her right and made herself look golden. Mistake#3= not dumping her butt. I have learned A lot for this whole experience, and I don't think I wanted to be with her for a while. I knew all of this crap, but just couldn't admit it to myself. I got soooooo comforitable in the relationship, it was hard for me to be on my own again. I feel relieved that she is gone, out of my life, but that doesn't mean that things still don't aggervate me. I don't think I can truly get over this until I don't let her push my buttons anymore. I don't want to just jump into another relationship, I want to grow within myself and be my own person. I know if I jump into another relationship, I will gain nothing. Thank you all.

I will rate you when I can... hehehehehe ;)

one_life · Nov 14, 2005, 05:27 PM

Good, don't jump into another relationship for a while. But that does not mean you can't date different women and have fun. As for anger issues, it is very normal to feel them. It will come and go.

When they ignore you the most, is when they thinking the most about you. It is because of pride and ego. They know they did you wrong. The way to get back at them, is to ignore them too. They can't stand that. They always thought of you as around their finger, and now they have lost that control over you. She will be misrable for the rest of her life, because she let go of a good thing with you.

Another thing, you think she feels good about leaving without saying good bye... nope, it will haunt her. She'll contaplate if what she did was the right thing to do.

Wildcat21 · Nov 14, 2005, 05:40 PM

Good. It IS part of growing up. I just don't want to see you go through this crap again.

MANY women (bad ones) WILL test you - they WILL see how far they get away with things. That's what this one did. You did let her get away with this all this crap AND the bad ones WILL take advantage of you at every turn - especially WHEN you are nice to them.

You let her time again get away with it. Your relationship should have lasted 1 month - period, end of story.

BUILD barriers, don't be so nice, do your own things - they will the nchase you, do not let them get awa ywith anyhtng - BUT the good ones won't do that to you.

Katiy · Nov 15, 2005, 02:46 AM

You call her an ex, but act like she's current. So which is it? Did you send her roses? Take her to her favorite places? It's not that difficult. She means, don't do it again.

jeffatl · Nov 15, 2005, 09:54 AM

What are you talking about? Did you even read anything that has been going on in my situation? I think not. I did eveything for this girl and she walked all over me. Know the story BEFORE you give advice please...

jeffatl · Nov 20, 2005, 02:04 AM

I just found out she is engaged to this guy a few hours ago. I am freaking out so bad right now I don't even know what to do guys. I just can't deal with this crap anymore, it hurts too much. I am so tired of having my heat broken over and over again by this girl I just can't deal. I have completely lost my damn mind tonight and I am scared. My heart is now completely broken in half and I just can't cope with this anymore. Call me a wuss or weak or whatever you want, I am done.

Katiy · Nov 20, 2005, 06:06 AM

Do something for fun for yourself. You are so attached to her, it is so difficult for you right. In time, you will do better. Is there a gym you can go to and work out until you aren't bothered by it anymore. I always walk along the lake until, it doesn't bother me anymore. Go for a nice long walk until you aren't bothered by it anymore.

one_life · Nov 20, 2005, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by jeffatl

I just found out she is engaged to this guy a few hours ago. I am freaking out so bad right now I dont even know what to do guys. I just can't deal with this crap anymore, it hurts too much. I am so tired of having my heat broken over and over again by this girl I just can't deal. I have completely lost my damn mind tonight and I am scared. My heart is now completly broken in half and I just can't cope with this anymore. Call me a wuss or weak or whatever you want, I am done.

Here is something to make you feel better. Write her a congrats. Say something like, "I'm suprised you are engaded. Someone in their right mind would be engaded to you. Only if they knew the real you. I wish him all the luck, he'll sure need it" That should get her water boiling.