The sensitive guy mode is very hard to fix. If she labels you a 'Nice guy' it's very hard to remove that. You also DON'T want to be a jerk at all - never.

It's kind of a fine line between both.

I've said to girls early on - I'm not your therapist and I'm not your girlfriend - please go talk to your girlfirends about this. They really don't want to share this stuff with you anyway - if they do - back off.

Wildcat,
I'm assuming (hoping) that the no compliments/let's not talk about anything sensitive only applies as the relationship is getting off the ground, right? Because I wouldn't want to be with someone who rarely complimented me and didn't ever want to talk about what was going on in each others' lives.
Help me out here!

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Turtle - absolutely - only early on - most guys come on too stron gand ruin the relationship. Their interest level is too high and the compliments flow.

Too many compliments early on and you gals feel your being manipulated. AND - you feel repulsed after a while.

Let me please correct you. Very important is this... at 17 she most certsinly IS legal. Maybe not in your country but in the Uk she definitely, unequivocally is old enough.

FYI the legal age is 16.

That needed to be said, before You get any more misconceptions.

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Just a moment there. Why the rudeness. Barely legal? Either legal or not, and fyi my girlfriend before her was older than me. How dare you cast aspersions and assassinate my character.

Snuffy comes from a nickname she gave me because of my eyelashes, they resembled those of snuffy on sesame street apparently.

Have the good grace to aploogise when you have been corrected, and lastly- that you have to be so impertinent is a failing in your personality!

I'd suggest you be a little more respectful and respect other people. I have not had the bad grace to be rude to you so I don't expect it back.

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Snuffy - Battle gave some good sound advice in this last post.

I think you may have put pressure on this gal and that's not good.

Hey guys,

Funny what a few weeks does to change your mind and feelings for someone. You are so right. Women are a mere addition to your life not your whole life.


My feelings for this girl have gone entirely, don't know how, they just have.


Saturday evening I heard she went to a party and slept with a guy she didn't know and that half way through sex he told her 'oh by the way I have a girlfriend'

This act surprised me, I did not think she would just jump into bed with anyone but how wrong I was. I actually pity her for that. And I assume she felt very very used and abused. I'm not even hurt. Just surprised.

Everything you said about approaching girls is so right too. Strike up conversation, say something different then ignore them or act indifferent. I was playing this like a game at the weekend in night clubs. They follow you around like a bad rash! I couldn't get rid of a few of them.

Also I have somehow, god knows how, received interest from some very nice girls indeed who like me for who I am. This has made me feel so much more worth and I shall proceed carefully and learn to never make the mistakes which probably as you say turned the ex girlfriend off me.

Her friends does want me. I think I may even go there since the ex g/f lost a lot of self respect/scruples Saturday evening. It is not to get back at her at all. That does not interest me. I don't do revenge.


Thank you for all your invaluable advice.

Hey Snufy - considering she slept with some guy she didn't know - I think it's OK now to go for her friend - 100% - if you wish.

Classic - "I have a girlfriend" - YOU NEVER WANT TO BE WITH THIS GAL EVER AGAIN. Thank god you heard about this.

When you're in the clubs you got to ask for their # or e-mail.

Your advice is genius!

So I am right in thinking she is a bit of a slut for doing that!

I hear that she is getting ripped at college today because of it, and that her other friends were actually disgusted by it.

Apparently she said to them that she would have f**ked anyone.

I don't have a superiority complex but surely I am too good for her now.

Yes, I like her friend very much. I did when I was with the ex but being good natured I never encouraged it and I was faithful to her.

She told me not to get with any of her friends or people she know sbut I believe now that she has lost any right to determine this.
Also I have made it crystal clear to this new girl that she is not rebound material and that its not to get back at the ex.

And I have said lets just see how it goes, sort of acted indifferent but she does know I want her and she has said 'the feeling's mutual'


Just play it cool I guess.

Oh incidentally the ex does not know that I know what she did at the weekend, she hasn't mentioned it, but I will let her know, gracefully - not in a smart tone- that it was pretty low and a cheap thrill probably for her low self esteem (which I always tried to make her feel good about herself)

She truly does not deserve me now anyway.


One othe rthing wildcat, there is a nother girl who has exactly the same interests and who is going to university to do law and french, as I do, who got my number off a friend last week and she seems interested. I don't know how much but I have shown her that I like eher but that's all. I'm going to play that cool too.

Thanks a million for your advice. It all really works.

Any opinion on that please tell me .


Thanks, snuffy

You defintely, in a tactful way, and because you need to regain ALL power over her, let her know you about her 'hook-up'. You also need to let her know you don't appreciate it - in a tactful way.

"apparently she said to them that she would have f**ked anyone" - that sucks for her. DEFINTELY low self esteem. That's why you ned to let her know.

Go for her friend and, YES, make sure the friend knows it's not a rebound.

HAHAHA! Nope - not in this world. Not if some one you are really attracted to.

Lots of suckers SETTLE for way less as the girl they really love leaves - IT NEVER HAS TO BE THAT WAY!!

MAN!! That totally 'Nice guy' quotes. Won't get you very far in the real world. Maybe in a movie or TV.

I think I am regaining power of the whole situation - the funny thing is I really do not want her back now, seemingly it was me too who had to believe that 'I was not worthy'. Well, I bmost certainly am worthy and everyone's advice is that I am better off without her. She has changed and for the worse.

I haven't expressed disappointment to her, I said I didn't feel an ounce of jealousy ( I truly didnt) I said it was a bit sad, but its her business now.

I told her that I certainly will never want to be with her again now, but I do wish to remain on speaking terms - bear in mind wildcat that I'm not trying to win her back she's not worth it- but I said this to her: "that do u want to have a friendship with me that means regardless of what i do or who i fancy"

She said yes. NOw I really want her friend, but I am not going to be a wuss at all this time.

Treat them a little man keep them keen. I will never be abusive or a bastard but equally I shan't become clingy to anyone again. Oh by the way her friends told me she felt low for doing what she did at the time and that it was crap and cheap! Ha ha ha ha ha. Told her friends that at least I knew what I was doing!!

Goal! Game over, I will take that game, set, match thank you.


I'll keep you posted on the new girl wildcat.

What you think?

Sorry Packer - you don't understand human nature - we deal in reality here. That's pretty creepy.

Snuffy - NEVER put a woman on a pedestal - any woman. Never put them before you - that was you problem with this one. Seriously - their lucky if they are equal to you.

Treat them mean - keep them kean. Pretty much true - don't ever be a jerk - don't be rude ever, unless they are rude to you. etc.

That's a lot of guys problems - they make their new gal their life and she is actually, especially in the beginning, only a small part of your life.

Even the most attractive woman are human - they have their insecurities, hang-ups, problems - etcv.

Once you learn to keep woman below - or at least that feeling - then you will lnever have these problems agan.

I don't mean to demean woman - put that's the attitude they look for.

Wildcat, I agree whole-heartedly.

I was skeptical at first, if only because it doesn't make sense to a guy! However women as you say do not think logically, they feel.

It is to all intents and purposes one big game of chess seemingly!

Amazingly I have 4 or 5 women now who are interested in me, I know by the way they are around me and I am treating them all as if they want me!

Or to put it another way, I'm not going to make one of them my life. Sure if I commit then I commit, only a prick cheats. But for now, I have the luxury of choice and I can 'sell' myself and make myself only slightly available.

Someone said to me you should always leave them wanting more. Cut them short, and they will chase you. It's a nice feeling man.

You're right though never be rude unless they have been to you, but do bust their chops.

Let them know you like them but only show them that, I don't need any of them, I may want them but don't need them.


Make them 'feel' for me.' I don't need to persuade with words.

I read something too about when a women asks you for a drink. Apparently it is a test. I should say no you buy me a drink! Is this right!


I love your advice, I am changed man!

Yep - this is the whole point - to change.

I'd advise never buy a woman a drink unless you know her.

Yes -you don'r NEED any woman - ever.