Its her birthday next week

I want to text her happy birthday and maybe try and end it on a good note. I don't know anymore.

what is done is done, and adding to it will only cause more pain and frustration on your part. This is a really hard time in your life and you can turn it around and become very much stronger from it. Keep to NC and the pain will come and pass and eventually one day you will find someone who will make you stop and think why did I waste all that energy on what's her name.

I wondered for awhile why my ex did it but then I just realized that it doesn't matter why because she's gone and if she comes back I don't want her, because she did it once and look at what happened. Take some time to do some things you have always wanted to do, start a couple new hobbies, listen to some music(no sappy or love songs, Im talking some rock), and mainly focues on you. Because the "we"-her=you and that along with family and friends is what matters.

Life will get better give it time.

Thanks man. You're probably right.

Sammie66 grow some balls man! Want me tell you what you need? Is some new poon tang! Man!. (don't mean to piss you off!) and you need to change your email! And your phone number!. and start working out hard! And why your working out think about her f@#king the her new love! It will help you!. and about her doing so well? And she in love is bullsh!t! She only telling you that to piss you off and to make sure you stay down? And the more you tex that girl you just making her ego big!. so call your home boys, go out! And start macing on some girl!. and get some number! And wake up the PIMP! The PLAYER!. there too much out there! To be crying over some pace of azz that didn't really care about you!. play the game! Don't be played!

Lol, you sound like the last guy on this:

YouTube - Tales of mere existence 'how to cope with depression'

You're probably right. I think I've just gone a bit obsessive. I'm like that unfortunately. Makes me who I am right?

Feeling much better now anyway. I think I've bored myself too much with the whole situation.

So how you doing Sammie66... we haven't heard of you so I am hoping you are better

I'm just bored with it all. Had a chat with a few good friends about it the other night and one was taking the p*ss out of her new boyfriend because he'd seen his Facebook and thought he sounded like a complete idiot. It cheered me up a bit.

She's almost been with him 3 months now so I've accepted that she's probably going to end up marrying him and getting pregnant in the next year seeing as they are rushing into everything :-P. 3 months is getting towards 1/2 of our relationship.

Even one of my friends said he found the whole thing completely insane. He can't believe how she just seemed to suddenly flip from being in love with me to being in love with this other guy. And he says its ridiculous that she's moved in with him, let alone dated him so soon.

I mean, this is a girl, who less than a week before we split was taking those kinds of adoring photos of me (that I didn't know of) walking through the park, then a week later was in bed with someone else saying she had "moved on". Yet a month after she broke up with me, she was adding photos of me to her Facebook. And she "really misses me sometimes".

Unless I did something that really upset her to her core I find the whole thing crazy. I think she's crazy! I just wonder what it is I did. It might have been something in bed while she was on her period but she'd never complained. But she doesn't complain...

I've always thought I was a good judge of character and don't suffer fools easily, but I could've sworn the look she gave me 2 days before we broke up was one of love. I don't know what she was thinking. I think she's maybe one of these people who just can't handle being on their own, and so paranoid that they convince themselves of the worst. So she probably just thought "he doesn't do anything for me, he doesn't love me" and her workmate said "i really fancy you" and she made the decision based on that. That's the impression I get as mad as it sounds.


But anyway, I am feeling much better. Still VERY confused and gutted, but as my friend says - I'm looking at it much more objectively rather than feeling the pain now. And who wants to be stuck in a relationship with a needy, self centered person. Also I just booked a 2 week holiday to Japan with a friend. I thought I'd go somewhere so mad and far away and with so much to take in I won't have time to think about her.

My mate only met her a couple of times - he moved away soon after we were dating. He said from what I had said, she just doesn't know what she wants. In the time I have known her, she's moved apartments 2 times, changed jobs 2 times and dated 2 people. She's obviously never satisfied and doesn't realise that the only person that can make her happy is herself.

I laughed yesterday. Every time I see a car that looks like hers I check the number plate out just in case. Silly I know. I'm sure I saw her in her car with blonde hair. As I said in an earlier post- every time she's upset, she dyes her hair. So maybe she's not in a perfect situation. Who knows!

Only question is - do I send her a birthday text next week? One of my friends says I should, just to show I'm not petty, but only say "Happy Birthday".

Another thing my friend said "If she does end up with him, then she DID leave you for someone she fell in love with and obviously didn't love you. And why would you want someone that didn't love you and deceived you into thinking they did?"

He's a wise man!

Sorry just had a bit of frustration to get out.

What I don't understand is that if she had been planning on leaving me, why did she send texts to my sister in law saying "I feel unloved" a few days before. Or was that her making the decision? I don't know.

Maybe she had made the decision then, but when I went to see her she couldn't hide the fact that she had strong feelings for me. Like she loved me, but she kept getting hurt so went with her head rather than her heart. That would explain a lot.

She only got hurt because she was too scared of upsetting me. I wanted her to argue and tell me what she wanted. She was my first girlfriend and it's hard to go from thinking only about yourself, to putting someone else first.

My friend, I think we all put that first love, ahead of ourselves and lose ourselves a bit, but at the time, you just can't help it. Yeah it sucks. I feel you there!!

That's using pure logic, which can work, but fails to take into account how relationships mostly defy logic. That is also under the assumption that she knows what love is. Some people don't have a clue what real love is, and will never know. Looking at it objectively as I am, it is clear that what happened was a simple happenstance of inexperience on both sides.

One.

You took a 2 day break and she leaves you for someone else! How frivolous she is. If it's that easy for her to move from guy to guy and sleep around then perhaps she's just slutty, and maybe you should't be putting her up on such a high pedestal. Love, or infatuation, can blind even the wisest person.

TWO

"Everyone remembers their first love", is the adage, because it's the first time they ever feel that KIND of pain. As you get older and wiser, failed relationships are judged more accurately. You are assessing reality, emotions are clogging your perception.

Three

She didn't suddenly flip from being in love with you, women leave a relationship way before they ever physically leave it. They may say the love you, they may treat you well, but inside it may be a whole different story. It is likely that she had been contemplating leaving you for at least a month. She might have even known the guy she's it with while she was with you. Women are 100x's better at fooling men than men are women.

Four

The real wisdom tends to be the simplest. "she doesn't know waht she wants" . That's probaby the reality of it all. She's just like 90% of us all in our youth. Still testing out the waters and being molded into who we are in our mature years. Or maybe she's just crazy and you're too young and as of yet experienced to even detect her insanity!

I don't see us ever speaking again. Unfortunately I put an end to that by sending her texts saying how she used and lied to me. Move on :-(

It's a shame how it's all turned out. She thinks I'm really bitter and angry about the whole thing. She said it makes her sad thinking about it.

The problem is that she's always assumed the worst from me. I'm a decent guy!! Ok, I can be grumpy when I'm tired, but my heart is pure.

I know that I could never do to her what she did to me and I'm glad of that. Whenever I had doubts I nipped it in the bud and ended things (even though I immediately regretted it)

That's true because she told my sister in law that she was falling for me but scared of getting hurt so she was blocking me out. But if that was the case, she should have ended it THEN and not used me.

I find it sick to think I could be used in such a way by her.

Oh boo hoo, she's sad that she broke YOUR heart. She made her bed and she must lie in it. Never look back. In 1 year you'll look back and see the truth, and it's likely you won't feel as inclined to hold her in such a high regard.

Sounds like she felt bad about being the villain, and was merely trying to be a diplomat to your sister in law. That or maybe she's just a little girl, who doesn't understand the complexities of a real intimate relationship, or maybe she never was the one.

Heh don't be ashamed she played you a little bit :)

Hell it's likely to happen again my good man! As long as women smell good and are pretty we're fools and we'll jump through hoops and bring them shiny stuff! But that's not so bad, hell it makes you feel alive doesn't it! Now find another one to chase, a lady who doesn't have all the flaws you just put up with your ex and woo her and sweep her off her feet. Onward march, never look back!

I wish I could be as confident about getting another! Took me long enough to get my first girlfriend. I'm just a pretty shy guy. I've been told I'm good looking, but I don't know if that's just an ego booster from friends or what.

It's weird how the longer time goes on, her "perfectness" seems to disappear.

I just hope that somehow I get a good result in the end. It would be nice to hear her admit that I was actually a good boyfriend but maybe this guy is perfect for her.

I still think if I hadn't broken up with her at the beginning we would be together right now. But then maybe I would be the one using her and being dishonest.

She told this to my sister in law about a month before we broke up. I'm actually a bit annoyed because that was her admitting she didn't see a future with me and my sister in law never told me this until recently.

It's not weird that her "perfectness" seems to disappear, I just said it would in one of my earlier posts. It's natural. Stop thinking about what if's , heck if I thought of how many what if's I've had, I wouldn't leave my bathroom in the morning. If you've been told you're good looking and you clearly have in the past attracted women, then why the heck do you think you can't do what you've already done?

You're sister in law was probably afraid of being the bearer of bad news, don't fault her too much we are all human. She also probably realizes that this relationship wasn't right for you and realized it would work itself out, which it did. Stop moping and start jogging. Literally, start running until you look like bruce lee. Enlightenment will come when you've trained enough. You'll be allright OK? Say it. "I'll be ok"

My friend think her new boyfriend looks like "an ape". It's good to be childish sometimes.

I just miss her, but I know I can't see her. She'll realise her mistake one day. She'll be 86 and her boyfriend (now husband) will die on her. I'll have the last laugh because I have long life in my family! My gran is 100+