I don't know what to do, my boyfriend is growing distant from me after we had a huge fight
Asked Nov 19, 2009, 09:46 PM
I've been with this guy for a long time, he have broken up with me before, after being with him for 1 year and 1 month he broke up with me first for 7 months then we came back but only lasted 3 months and then he broke up with me again and we were separated for 4 months. After those 4 months apart he asked me to come back with me and now we've been together for 10 months without breaking up. The reasons he gave me before for dumping me were that I was too jealous and I got mad at everything. Well were doing OK now, he was charming ahd sweet and always tried to go to my home everyday no matter what. But there was a problem, we always fought because I couldn't trust him ( that is because he had lied to me before) and there is this girl who is really good friends with his mom and sister and something that really bothers me is that she goes almost everyday to his home for lunch or her mom always invites her. The times we fought he would calm me down and assure me that he didn't like her at all, and that he loved me and wanted me to be his wife in the future. He would also tell me that he wasn't going to leave me like he did before, that he wasn't going to make that mistake again. Well, this last fight (4 days ago) he got really mad and told me that he was tired that I did not trust him, that he respected me and that he always does everything for me and didn't know what else to do. He was really upset. The next day he didn't call me nor appear and I had to go to his home but he was different, he was cold, he wasn't sweet anymore, before he would call me "My love, honey, etc" and now most of the time he just calls me my name. I talked to him and told him that I felt an awkwardness between us and he told me that he was still mad and sad because of the fight and that he didn't know what he wanted for his life and was confused but he didn't want to make any decision cause he could regret later,so he told me that I should give him a day. So I did, but all that day I was anxious and sad cause I did not know what he was going to tell him. So the next day when we talked, I told him that I was sorry for not trusting him and that I was going to try not to get mad at everything and start a fight.. so he told me that this month was going to be a probation month, we are going to be together but that we were going to see if we fight like before or if we improve, if we did we were going to stay together but if we fought a lot we would have to take other measures.. well I agreed because I didn't wanted to loose him, but he put me conditions... he told me that he was not going to visit me everyday that when he had to go to play soccer or when he had to do another stuff or when I had to studied or we were busy he would not go to my home. That was really sad for me but I didn't say anything, after that he was been different with me, yesterday he pick me up to go to his home and talk to me OK but he wasn't so sweet with him like before, and I could feel that coldness between us... today he told me that he wasn't going to come to my home because he was tired from working and wanted to rest. So I asked him what was wrong, why he was like that, he wasn't like that before, I asked him if he didn't want to be with me anymore and if he doesn't say anything because he did not want to hurt me, but all he says is that he is just tired from work, that he is stress out because he has more work now, that he is not going to leave me that I should stop thinking that and chill out, all he wants is to be OK with me... I really don't know what to do anymore because I do love him and he is really hurting me by the way he is acting with me, I can't concentrate, I almost don't eat anything, I can't study... this is wearing me out... I don't want to loose him but at the same time I want to be happy I want his old caring self to be back again but I don't know what is going on in his mind.. he is growing distant and distant and I don't know what to do.. im starting to feel uncomfortable around him, I am scared, I don't know what to say anymore... really I need some advice for this... cause I am getting more and more depressed.