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    careaboutyou's Avatar
    careaboutyou Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 12, 2008, 10:03 AM
    Didn't on his chatting list.why?
    He had deleted my name from msn chatting lists of his... but he didn't block me from talking to me...
    When I accidentally found out and confront with him , he said he deleted me last year July... because my computer problem then. But he didn't put my name back and keep talking to me up to now...

    Why is that? If he did'nt want to talk to me he could just block me totally... I didn't aware of it just because he's still enjoy talking to me... is he really for sake of sex wanting to keep in touch with me?

    Help me... thanks
    xxtwincambabyxx's Avatar
    xxtwincambabyxx Posts: 27, Reputation: 4
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    #2

    Mar 12, 2008, 10:36 AM
    He is only using you... forget about him!!
    careaboutyou's Avatar
    careaboutyou Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 12, 2008, 11:07 AM
    It's really hurting me... and disgusting thought that he's just using me for sake of sex... I thought there must be a connection between he and I interms of feelings...

    My head is spinning... my heart is hurt... why I can't just walk away from him right away...
    xxtwincambabyxx's Avatar
    xxtwincambabyxx Posts: 27, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Mar 12, 2008, 11:17 AM
    Bcoz u have feelings for him and u really like him.. . it will be hard but u will be the stronger one to walk away.. . he has used u and ignored u afterwards as if nothing went on
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #5

    Mar 12, 2008, 11:21 AM
    Uhm...

    You are having sex with someone and the biggest problem is his msn chat list??

    I really don't think a chat list is a reason to have, or not have, sex with someone.

    Can you please explain more about the relationship? Issues? Problems? That have nothing to do with msn...

    I'm so not trying to be a pr!ck here... I just don't think that relationships fail or succeed alone from msn chat lists.

    So what's going on? How long together or not? What's the deal?
    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
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    #6

    Mar 12, 2008, 11:25 AM
    I agree KP, we need A lot more information on this issue.
    careaboutyou's Avatar
    careaboutyou Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Mar 12, 2008, 11:28 AM
    Please read other questions I have on this site yesterday... same person , I have only focused on him... help me please...
    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
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    #8

    Mar 12, 2008, 11:38 AM
    I read your posts, but don't understand what is going on really.

    This is what I get...

    Your boyfriend doesn't have you on his "chat list" but he has other girls on there that you call his "girlfriends".

    Are they just friends of his that happen to be women, or is he cheating on you with 8 other women?

    If they are just friends, I don't see why you are so insecure about that (unless he has cheated).

    As far as you not being on his "chat list" big deal, it sounds to me like you guys have bigger issues at hand.

    You can't nag, complain, and keep someone from talking to anyone from the opposite sex but you... it will make them run! I would say if he hasn't cheated, and isn't cheating, grow up and let it go.

    You have to learn to pick your fights a little better, these types of things get on guys nerves (and girls) and nobody wants an insecure naggy girlfriend / boyfriend.
    careaboutyou's Avatar
    careaboutyou Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Mar 12, 2008, 11:45 AM
    I guess so... he said I have no social skills thus he would not want to introduce me to his friends or his daughter...

    What should I do? For over a year I have tried my best... and he satys for sake of sex because once in a month or couple of months?

    Is there really no connection between us besides sex with me?
    careaboutyou's Avatar
    careaboutyou Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Mar 12, 2008, 11:46 AM
    Going out with friends for dinner, movie or walk is considering "cheating"?
    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
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    #11

    Mar 12, 2008, 11:52 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by careaboutyou
    he said I have no social skills thus he would not want to introduce me to his friends or his daughter...
    WHAT A DI*K!

    Ok, that sound slike a cheater to me. You have been with this guy a YEAR and haven't met his daughter OR his friends? Sorry to say, but it looks like you are his "booty call". Dinner, movie, and a walk is a DATE... so yes... that IS cheating.


    Tell this guy to get lost while you still have a SHRED of dignity. End this NOW, and do NOT let him crawl back for sex either. You are better than a booty call I'm sure. Just don't let this guy ruin your trust of men, you have allowed yourself to be blind to all this... so learn from it and move on.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #12

    Mar 12, 2008, 11:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by careaboutyou
    I guess so...he said I have no social skills thus he would not want to introduce me to his friends or his daughter...
    Right here... this is where sex stops. Period.

    If he can't introduce you to his friends, he doesn't get in your pants! Or else hed better be the best damn lay on the planet.

    If he won't introduce you to his daughter, he has no interest in you outside of sex. As the guy who dated and married a single mother, interaction with her daughter was important to her. He isn't planning on any kind of future with you.
    careaboutyou's Avatar
    careaboutyou Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Mar 12, 2008, 12:11 PM
    My head is spinning... I don't want to admit that he had no feelings for me at all... I said thousand times that I love him and want to be with him...

    I refused many times to let him 'come and pick' me up to his place for "booty call"... instead I ask for dinner or something together.. and he just said "no time"... "need to work"... he just chat with me for over a year.. we are not really "together"... only online... and at beginning we had dinners... but it's been almost a year... we don't go out... are we just "friends" or more than friends? Or just friends with benefits? I don't get benefits... he is not even sexual functional..
    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
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    #14

    Mar 12, 2008, 12:23 PM
    "we are not really "together"....only online ...and at beginning we had dinners...but it's been almost a year" ~HELLO! ~


    "I don't get benefits" ~ Since you don't get it... THIS IS NOT ABOUT MAKING ***YOU*** HAPPY, it's all about ***HIM***.

    Guys that care about a girl WANT to take them out for dinners, and dates. They MAKE time for them, and make them A PART of their lives.

    If you don't get it by now, I don't think there is really anything else we can do for you. LET HIM DO THIS TO SOMEONE ELSE. Drop him.
    careaboutyou's Avatar
    careaboutyou Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Mar 12, 2008, 12:31 PM
    Believe me.. I am trying to pull myself back... just so hard...

    Your support have lots meaning to me... I need to be a strong girl...
    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
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    #16

    Mar 12, 2008, 12:52 PM
    You are strong, you just don't know it yet.

    All you have to do is prove it to yourself now. You seem sweet, bright, and caring. I tink you deserve someone that will treat you with the same respect you show them.

    You know how to better your situation now, so just be strong and prove to yourself you are worth more than what this fool is giving you.

    Things will get harder before they get better. Just hang in there, you have plenty of people on here that will help you sort out your problems as best we can.

    For now, go out and do something nice for yourself for once. Buy yourself a new purse, get your nails done, or whatever you girls like to do. Just have fun again. Nobody is worth this trouble.

    Best of luck!
    careaboutyou's Avatar
    careaboutyou Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Mar 12, 2008, 01:40 PM
    Thank you! You guys so warm... I need all your emotional support -- I am a feeling person.. thanks
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member
     
    #18

    Mar 12, 2008, 02:04 PM
    It sucks when you've invested time and mental energy.

    Sometimes you pick a dud.

    At this point, what does he have to lose? You've been willing to engage in a relationship that benefits him when he desires it.

    OK.

    I've done some really, really dumb things. If I'm an expert at anything in my life, its cause I've had my head so far up me arse that I couldn't tell night from day... and eventually figured out what was right and healthy. Only took several years and loads of emotional baggage... other than that, it was nothing.

    So... time to stop and relax. Let yourself be in a failed relationship that needs to pass. Don't kick yourself too much, and don't let yourself off completely. And forget about him... until he is kicking your door down, needing you in his life, its all just talk. Even then, its still probably just talk.

    So time to let it go, take the hard lessons to heart, and delete everything about him.

    You need to be alone, without his noise, before you can be in a good, healthy place. Its worth the pain and the insecurity.

    Been there, done that.

    I promise, its worth it.
    pinkrose7's Avatar
    pinkrose7 Posts: 29, Reputation: -1
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    #19

    Mar 12, 2008, 02:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by careaboutyou
    he had deleted my name from msn chatting lists of his....but he didn't block me from talking to me...
    When I accidentally found out and confront with him , he said he deleted me last year July...because my computer problem then. But he didn't put my name back and keep talking to me up to now....

    Why is that? if he did'nt want to talk to me he could just block me totally....I didn't aware of it just because he's still enjoy talking to me....is he really for sake of sex wanting to keep in touch with me?

    help me ...thanks
    This boy is hiding sometime I think he has a girlfriend or something that looks at who he is talking to and he doesn't want than other person to see your name I think you shold leave him alone its hurting you and I think he's only using u
    careaboutyou's Avatar
    careaboutyou Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Mar 12, 2008, 02:17 PM
    We are in interracial "relationship"... I can't really express the all way I want to...

    He is a reserved person and only willing to talk through writing/msn to me.. even face to face he can't say something about feelings...

    I am even more expressive than he does -- English is my second language.. but I have been learning for 10 years...

    Thank you again... and I will keep all your advice and keep my chin up!

    It's so hurt...

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