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    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #1

    Sep 29, 2012, 05:20 AM
    Confused?
    Hi friends, I met this guy and feel like I have started liking him. I love to spend time with him. Want to talk to him for hours. What brought me here is his behavior, his gestures, his words say he likes me.

    He never said he loves me but he always try to get closer. And sometimes I feel like he is hiding something. And a strange thing he disappears on weekends and after his office hours.

    I asked him why so, but he says its nothing, just he doesn't get time once he is home. I asked him about his feelings for me to which he says we are good friends, or try to flirt and change the topic.

    Confused here!!
    Shiny Shoes's Avatar
    Shiny Shoes Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Sep 29, 2012, 05:36 AM
    Hi Confused,

    If he does not make the time for you, then he is making the time for other activities, hence would suggest you re-group your thoughts and feelings before getting hurt further.

    I talk from experience, hence before reaching a point of 'hard to turn back' make the break now

    That's my take on this, looking from the outside
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #3

    Sep 29, 2012, 07:38 AM
    Have you considered that he may be married or at least have someone else?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #4

    Sep 29, 2012, 08:08 AM
    What's the confusion? Why would he say he loves you, you guys just met?

    .....i asked him about his feelings for me...to which he says we are good friends or try to flirt and change the topic......
    He has told you what's up. He could be seeing someone else too.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #5

    Sep 29, 2012, 10:45 AM
    You it could be... what should I do then... break up?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #6

    Sep 29, 2012, 10:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by broken_ heart View Post
    ya it could be....what should i do then...break up??
    Break up? He says you are good friends. Does not sound like there is anything to break up.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #7

    Sep 29, 2012, 11:08 AM
    You but he treats me like his girl friend and that's why I'm confused.. his actions and words doesn't match..
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #8

    Sep 29, 2012, 11:33 AM
    Do you have a sexual relationship with him?
    He could be married, still he has told you where he stands with you. Listen to that.

    Quote Originally Posted by broken_ heart View Post
    ya but he treats me like his girl friend and that's why i m confused..his actions and words doesn't match..
    What does treating you like his girl friend mean? He has told you you're not.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #9

    Sep 29, 2012, 10:53 PM
    What exactly has happened... a day I was very upset.. and he was consoling me... and while doing that we kissed... and after that day it became like a routine... whenever he meets... we kiss... we hug... stay close... but never had sex... although he wants it... but I refused... and he said he will wait... everything goes fine... but whenever I ask the question... he answers like that... sometimes I feel if he actually doesn't love me... we should not be doing what is going on... and when I say it to him... he says he cares for me... he likes me and blah blah... but never says he loves me... which I want to hear... I say it to him many times... I am not getting him... and sometimes he start ignoring me after the question... and again himself come back and behave normally like nothing has happened...

    And yes one more thing... he said he wants to see me all virtually... he insisted for long time... and one day I did that for him...
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #10

    Sep 29, 2012, 11:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by broken_ heart View Post
    .he said he wants to see me all virtually...
    What does that mean?
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #11

    Sep 29, 2012, 11:01 PM
    Means via webcam
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #12

    Sep 29, 2012, 11:04 PM
    He disappears on weekends and after office hours. Sounds like he may be married or in an official relationship.

    You are putting way much more into this relationship than he is. Time to step back and look at the whole picture.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #13

    Sep 29, 2012, 11:19 PM
    But how I will know if he is married or in other relationship... I hope he is not...
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #14

    Sep 30, 2012, 07:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by broken_ heart View Post
    But how i will know if he is married or in other relationship.....i hope he is not...
    Whether he is or not, he is not into you. He wants to get in your pants. You are an option to him.
    How old are you (you sound really young) and how old is he?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #15

    Sep 30, 2012, 02:29 PM
    You find out by asking him.
    The clues are all there.
    This reminds me of your previous situation...

    Don't go there.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #16

    Sep 30, 2012, 11:20 PM
    Ya Ami.. feels like I found someone like him again... feeling disappointed again...

    And I have told him... if he can't make out time for me... we are not together anymore... let see what he will do now...
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #17

    Oct 1, 2012, 08:44 AM
    We do this ''us humans''- we tend to repeat patterns until we've worked on ourselves so that we are able to love ourselves and thus attract a better partner.

    Looking in from the outside I'd say this guy is in a relationship with somebody else.

    Protect your heart and leave this be.
    Hugs.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #18

    Oct 1, 2012, 08:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by broken_ heart View Post
    And i have told him...if he can't make out time for me....we are not together anymore....let see what he will do now....
    It's never good to give ultimatums. You make a decision and stick with it.
    broken_ heart's Avatar
    broken_ heart Posts: 201, Reputation: 22
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    #19

    Oct 1, 2012, 11:41 PM
    Its an holiday today... and he is again disappeared... I called him... but he cut the call and sent message... to stop calling him... he is at home... and will talk later... I didn't message him back... I don't want this kind of behaviour and have decided to break it off... but don't know how I should convey it to him... should I tell him on message or call or should I meet him in person... and what exactly should I tell him... and this is for sure that I am not feeling happy in this relationship... if I am giving my hundred percent... I expect the same in return... please suggest what would be a better way to convey him this...

    And yes one more question if in case he says to be just friends... should I accept it or say no to this...
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #20

    Oct 2, 2012, 09:52 AM
    I don't think you should say anything to him, don't contact him all. Leave him alone.
    You may not even hear from him again. If you do, tell him you have moved on.

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