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NowWhat · Aug 3, 2007, 07:26 AM

There is a double standard when it comes to sex. Maybe men want the woman to be "pure"?
I agree with Synnen, if you and your partner are going to engage in things like this - there needs to be rules and a good understanding of what is going to happen. Both need to equally be on board with it. But what happens when this relationship breaks up? Not because of what goes on in the bedroom but because of life? And the woman is left to find a new love? How will that new love judge her? Will he walk away like 4answers did and look at her with disgust when he sees her on the street? Will he accept the fact that she had a life before they met?

Most men (that I know of) have a fantasy of a threesome. Who do they think is going to participate? A WOMAN. Am I to believe that these women that could "lower" themselves to participate in a threesome with this man are just not good enough to date or love? Whatever.

4answers · Aug 3, 2007, 07:41 AM

Originally Posted by NowWhat

There is a double standard when it comes to sex.

Maybe men want the woman to be "pure"?

There needs to be rules and a good understanding of what is going to happen.

But what happens when this relationship breaks up? And the woman is left to find a new love? How will that new love judge her? Will he walk away like 4answers did and look at her with disgust when he sees her on the street?

Most men (that I know of) have a fantasy of a threesome. Who do they think is going to participate? A WOMAN. Am I to believe that these women that could "lower" themselves to participate in a threesome with this man are just not good enough to date or love? Whatever.

Women want the fairy tale of the prince who can have any women he wants but want her above all others... This makes her feel special. (Alpha Male).
Men want the princess who all desire but who only gives her self to him... This makes him feel special. (The Virgin Bride).

These are basis aspects of our emotional desire... All be it fariy tales, because it is unrealistic. However neither woman nor man wants to find out that their partner is the opposite of what they thought. Nobody likes to be deceived (As in my case).

I guess it's the same old story of being open with a partner, good communication. Anything else, and everything else is secondary.

Now we all have our boundries, that differer from other people, we may find that by communicating about these boundries we are or are not compatible. But its by not communicating or being false about these boundries where problems occur !

NowWhat · Aug 3, 2007, 07:47 AM

Okay, how were you deceived? I guess that is what I am not getting.
Did your girl forget to wear her "I participate in 3-somes" tshirt? Maybe she was ashamed, maybe she regretted what she did. Maybe it made her feel dirty and used. And then you throw her away like the garbage she may feel like.
People have pasts. Things happen. We trust the wrong people, make bad choices. We learn.

4answers · Aug 3, 2007, 07:57 AM

Originally Posted by NowWhat

Okay, how were you deceived? I guess that is what I am not getting.
Did your girl forget to wear her "I participate in 3-somes" tshirt? Maybe she was ashamed, maybe she regretted what she did. Maybe it made her feel dirty and used. And then you throw her away like the garbage she may feel like.
People have pasts. Things happen. We trust the wrong people, make bad choices. We learn.

With the utmost respect, this thread is not about my personal relationship with this girl or what happened between us. The only thing that is relevant is what I have stated on the post that the act of having a threesome ultimately caused the end of two relationship for this girl. And that because of this, girls more than men (rightly or wrongly) need to be aware of the consequences of this.

A lot of men will say they would like to sleep with a girl who is into 3sums with more than one man. But ask the same man if he would go out with her or marry her, then the answer is different. (Agian these are not necessarily my views but general male views).

Is it right NO - Is it fact YES. Is it unfair - YES - Is it equality - NO. Is it going to change ? Who gets the bad rep for sleeping around or for group sex the man or the woman - The woman, always.

My point was not to have a go at women or to explain the end of my relationship but just to highlight this inequality as it is.

NowWhat · Aug 3, 2007, 02:40 PM

You are right. It is unfair. It always has been. I guess what I was trying to point out is this - you recognize that it is unfair and that it just isn't right. BUT, you seemingly judged someone else for it. So, how can things change? Changing the mind set? I don't know.

If you asked my husband if he would like for us to engage in a threesome (with another woman, mind you) he would say YES! And I don't think he would divorce me after it was done. And, I think he still would have married me if we had done something like this while dating.
Would he even consider doing this with another man - NO. I read him the original post and he taught the boyfriend in this scenario was gay. So, there you go.

MayMsredrose · Aug 4, 2007, 06:00 AM

Originally Posted by christine98033

Hi, I'm 28 years old and my boyfriend of six months wants me to actively participate in a three some with a large man who is a wrestler. I am a 5'4" petite, 112 pounds, my boyfriend is 6'0" and 195 pounds, while the third party man is 6'7" and 340 pounds. I am afraid the third man will really be too big? He also really wants me to go down on him (the wrestler)! My boyfriend then is particularily interested in doing a double penetration. What should I do?

I hope you did not do what he asked you for... I think you should leave him this person does not love you or even cares for you. He is after his lust nothing more... find someone else who loves you, and respect you .

Good luck.

s_cianci · Aug 4, 2007, 06:08 AM

Run, do not walk, away from this sicko "boyfriend" of yours and don't look back! Why would you even entertain such a crazy idea or keep company with people who come up with this insanity? Let's be honest with ourselves, does this really sound normal or healthy to you? Enough said!

SLM1962 · Sep 17, 2007, 08:51 AM

Well if you do decide to do the (double pentration)DP, make sure the big guy is on the bottom and you are on top of him and your BF is behind you, otherwise you could get hurt. I've done DP with my BF of 4 years and it was pretty cool. It all depends on how open your relationship is sexually. We've had 3-some (both MFM and FMF) and 4-somes with other couples and went to one orgy. As long as you have a strong relationhip, this kind of sharing can really spice things up. But if you aren't ready to do these things your BF wants to try, then don't do it. Do it because YOU want to, not because he wants you, too. If he doesn't understand this, then lose him.
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Tuscany · Sep 17, 2007, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by 4answers

A lot of men will say they would like to sleep with a girl who is into 3sums with more than one man. But ask the same man if he would go out with her or marry her, then the answer is different. (Agian these are not necessarily my views but general male views).

My point was not to have a go at women or to explain the end of my relationship but just to highlight this inequality as it is.

This seems like you are generalizing men. How can you answer for men in general about their views on women and threesomes. If you truly love a woman you will look past her past and love her for the woman she is now. To have a past relationship or sexual encounter end a current relationship makes me think that the current relationship isn't all that great.

If I had judge my husband on his past choices of girlfriends I would never have married him. I had one of the stalking me (like to the point of restraining order) and slashing my tires. But, I loved him, I knew that that relationship was a mistake, I looked past it, and to the man he was then (and is now).

Thank God for that... if you continue to judge others on their past you might miss out on some wonderful people

emma88 · Sep 21, 2007, 06:47 AM

Hel yea