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-   -   My boyfriend wants a break but claims he loves me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=626688)

  • Jan 10, 2012, 06:13 PM
    bluesong
    My boyfriend wants a break but claims he loves me
    My boyfriend said he wants a break from the relationship but he says that he still loves me. He told me that he's not happy with the relationship but he doesn't want to break up with me. Lately we have been having some issues with the relationship. We've always been open about how we felt and so fights don't last long. He knows where I stand in this situation because I tell him how much I love him and I'm always looking out for him. He is good to me and I know he loves me but now I'm confused. We've been on and off for two weeks now(his move).
    Initially he told me he needed space which I didn't contest to because we were spending every waking moment together. I enjoyed the me time but then I started I miss him. He said he wanted us again and that's how we ended back together. Then the next day he said he wanted a break again. And its been like this ever since. I don't call him. He calls me. And he keeps calling me 'babe' and saying 'I love you' all when I'm under the impression of us being on break. I confront him about it and he says oh yeah then two minutes later he's saying how he misses me and so on.
    I'm so confused and hurt because every time I think that we're okay, he switches up and declares us on break again. I'm trying to move on but it's so hard. I don't know what to do now. Help please! :(
  • Jan 10, 2012, 07:54 PM
    talaniman
    I think you both are feeding into each other dependency on each other and neither knows what to do as so all you get is confusion, and uncertainty.

    Seems you are afraid of losing him more than you are wanting to get facts. You better tell this fellow to leave you alone if he needs a break to clear this confusion, and stop waffling and not making his actions match his words.

    I have seen this before when one partner is working up the courage to let go of their partner. He just hasn't gotten there yet because he has nothing else in his life but you.

    How old are you both? Somebody has to take a stand, he ain't ready so protect yourself, and end the confusion for him. He wants a break, tell him take one, and leave you alone.
  • Jan 10, 2012, 08:44 PM
    bluesong
    I'm 20 and he s 24. I try to ask him why the sudden change and he would start to talk then he would get mad and say he doesn't want to talk about it. He keeps saying that he believes in us and that he knows we'll make it but I don't know if he feels the same way now
  • Jan 10, 2012, 08:52 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Tell him to leave you alone and you move on with your life. Otherwise you will continue this never ending game.
  • May 24, 2012, 04:05 PM
    lilwomen
    I'm in situation where my boyfriend says he still loves me but has trust issues with me and don't want see me. If I don't tex him he won't bother to tex me. I feel like I'm in a one way relationship. But if I don't tex him he gets alil upset. Says I must be too busy or something. HELP! Don't know what to do. We have been together for 4 years and been threw more than most people have. I want to move on in a way but care for him so much. It's a long distance relationship now for about 8 months. Some one tell me what to do.
  • May 24, 2012, 04:15 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Start a separate thread for your question.
  • May 24, 2012, 04:23 PM
    mmresd
    You tell him to stop playing these immature games, either he is with you, or not. Tell him you won't stand for a break, is either all or nothing.

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