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talaniman · Apr 11, 2009, 07:01 AM

Back to NC, is the only way you stop her confusing you. I think she is keeping you close to have someone to give her some attention, when she can't stand this guy any more.

Then she will be gone (again) when someone fresh comes along. You don't need that, and its not love, nor is it healthy.

stillfading · Apr 11, 2009, 10:42 AM

Wow read a lot of the pages. Bro I am 22 and on day 4 of NC. It wouldve been day 7.

Stop believing in against the odds, NC IS the supernatural. I was 19 when my ex did NC to me and it worked wonders. 3 years later, surprise! I'm back with a new dumb girl wanting a break.

We are all trying to help you. It's time to let go.

ocean80 · Apr 14, 2009, 10:20 PM

Trevor,
I read 41 pages of this thread with patience and really hoped that you were right about your persistence and you 2 became lovers again... BUT, as we see all, she has chosen another guy when you were there for her. You are now a safety net, a back up plan for her. Don't let her think that way! ıt's not for your benefit...
Believe me, NC is the hardest thing in the world (especially you're in love) I'm doing it for 8 months (last August, I broke up with my fiancee) At the beginning I was thinking her all day (even in my dreams) I cried at nights. I tried just to survive (I felt like a living zombie). And after months I am healed.
You must realize that's over. Sad but that's life...

Entropic · Apr 21, 2009, 01:07 PM

I have no idea how it all happened, but she came out and told me that she wasn't happy with the new guy and that she misses me and misses my sense of humor and the things that we used to do together. So.. she dumped him, and after a week or so we've started to spend time together again. I'm not really confused or worried, and I'm keeping in mind that this could all change at anytime and it could just be sort of a rebound thing. I guess now I'm just wondering how I should try to be around her. I'm not feeling terrible about this so much now so I can handle it if it falls apart again I think. She's made it clear now that she wants me back, but I'm trying to be more of a "challenge" for her this time around. Am I headed in the right direction?

MarkwithaK · Apr 21, 2009, 08:19 PM

So things didn't work out with the other guy and now she comes running back to you? And you are entertaining the idea? I would have told her to pound sand but that's just me.

Fuzzball_Kara · Apr 21, 2009, 08:49 PM

The best way for her to look at you better is to go about life having the best time... you only have one life. No contact with her would be best.. It'll make healing take longer

a la king · Apr 21, 2009, 09:01 PM

Guy, you're going to F**K yourself over on this. Let her sit on her own and straighten her life out. She's feeling weak and vulnerable now that what she had with this other person didn't work out.

She needs comfort and you are it. She is weak and showing her true colors.

Remember, a persons heart is a great liar - use your head on your shoulders first. And once you have control over that things will be come clearer.

I'll bet a million dollars you won't do anything any says here.

itried · Apr 21, 2009, 09:43 PM

If you're happy being her second choice then go for it. In the end, you're always going to be a sucker for her and she knows this. She's rebounding off her rebound with you. When the next guy comes along she'll jump ship... again. Anyway, good luck with all this.

lighterrr · Apr 21, 2009, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by a la king

Guy, you're going to F**K yourself over on this. Let her sit on her own and straighten her life out. She's feeling weak and vulnerable now that what she had with this other person didn't work out.

She needs comfort and you are it. She is weak and showing her true colors.

Remember, a persons heart is a great liar - use your head on your shoulders first. And once you have control over that things will be come clearer.

I'll bet a million dollars you wont do anything any says here.

I agree he's in to deep in love with this woman

talaniman · Apr 21, 2009, 10:47 PM

She dumps you hooks up with him, (remember the heartbreak? Reread your OWN words!) dumps him, jumps back to you, and your okay with it?

She should be alone. And you should be healed. But the lesson continues.

ocean80 · Apr 21, 2009, 11:43 PM

"break up" thing is the best teacher in life. I think you're both having your lesson about relationships; but one is going on hard way (and it's you Gearhead, my man)
I'm totally with Tal and Mark; you must be healed...
I hope you best luck...

Entropic · Apr 23, 2009, 11:08 AM

I do get that feeling like I could be easily replaced again when someone new comes along. I told her that I don't want to be another failed rebound for her so we shouldn't be together for awhile at least. She was still talking about the other guy around me, and I don't think she understands how that makes me feel. So yeah.. I guess I better just drop it before it all happens again. Sigh.

Dare81 · Apr 23, 2009, 11:54 AM

Originally Posted by Entropic

I do get that feeling like I could be easily replaced again when someone new comes along. I told her that I don't want to be another failed rebound for her so we shouldn't be together for awhile at least. She was still talking about the other guy around me, and I don't think she understands how that makes me feel. So yeah.. I guess I better just drop it before it all happens again. Sigh.

I am sorry but you have got to be retarded, 42 pages of great advice and you still go running back to her, like you are her little puppy.This saga will never end because you must love pain

Entropic · Apr 23, 2009, 04:55 PM

Wait what? I just explained that I told her I don't want to be back together with her.

talaniman · Apr 23, 2009, 08:36 PM

Geez, you finally get her back, only to not want her. So now what??

ocean80 · Apr 24, 2009, 08:58 AM

I understand that it was difficult for you to reject her. Bravo! (I mean it) But be prepared: she will come to you because she doesn't want to lose you as a back up plan... And when she comes if you accept a relationship after all, one day she will dump you again...

Entropic · Apr 25, 2009, 04:58 PM

Talaniman- I don't want to be together with her so soon after she's ending this thing with the new guy. I think she had missed me so much that it overwhelmed her and now she's confused again about what exactly she wants. I don't want to be another failed rebound kind of thing. I can assure you I still want her just as much as the first day I posted here, but I can see that it wouldn't last long under these conditions. I'd think she would need to be completely over this last guy, and from what she's told me, she clearly isn't. Am I not doing the right thing right now?

Jessica09 · Apr 25, 2009, 05:04 PM

Okay. So, it is a possibility that you guys will get back together since she said that.. But, from a girls point of view, I don't think you guys will. I know, it hurts really bad. But she gave you your stuff back and said that she wants to be friends. Those two things are the most common in a for real breakup. It sounds like she just wanted to let you down easy by saying that it's just a break and all that. I'm sorry.