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-   -   Am I being used by my boyfriend (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=101978)

  • Jun 17, 2007, 10:07 AM
    acaringsoul
    Am I being used by my boyfriend
    My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for almost 10 months now. He tells me he loves me and I tell him I love him. I do love him although I wonder if he really loves me. . He did live with me but he had to move out because my Mom did not like him and I am living in her reantal house. I pay rent to her, but she says I am not aloud to sublease.He moved to his Moms house. Now he is waiting for me to move to another place and then move back in with me. I am not sure if I want to do this because I do not feel that he really loves me or is just saying he does because he wants someone to take care of him. When we lived together before he often stayed on the couch a lot because he was up late watching movies. I would go into the living room and ask him to come to bed with me and he refused. Sometimes after he fell asleep I would wake him up and ask him to come in the room with me. He still refused. Now that he lives with his Mom. He will fall asleep with me much more. . He says that he can not sleep with me at times because he is uncomfortable and I move around too much.If we do sleep together I have my arm around him and he has moved it off him at times. Now if sleeping was the only problem that would be maybe OK but at times he doesn’t even want to sit by me or put his arms around me. It seems like I have to be the one to initiate it. He’s just not romantic enough for me. When I ask him why he doesn’t want to sit by me at times he says he is claustrophobic and at other times blames it on past relationships. I pay all the bills because he quit his job after he met me and has not since got one back. I pay for everything for us. What is my problem. Am I just happy with just being with him, because he does talk very sweet to me. He tells me he loves me all the time. He calls me baby and gives me kisses at times. He does make me dinner a lot and is very friendly. What should I do. Am I being used. If I am being used how could anyone be with anyone and just want them to take care of them. It would seem that if he was not in love with me and he had to act like he was in love with me that would be a very uncomfortable thing to do. I guess I’m just trying to find out if he is using me how he can do that. How can anyone do that to anyone or themselves?
  • Jun 17, 2007, 10:30 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    How can anyone do that to anyone or themselves?
    You can love some one and hate their ways, but you don't have to settle for less than you deserve, so don't settle. Tell him what you expect and if he can't..! Stop enabling him. Don't move from where you are just yet.

    People can only do to you, what YOU let them do.
  • Jun 17, 2007, 11:33 AM
    acaringsoul
    I do understand you and do agree with you. Maybe if he got a job he would probably be happier and sleep better. I don't know. I just heard from him on the phone and he is very eager to see me so we will see. I am enabling him like you said and need to stop. Advise. If you have anymore please advise I appreciate all the help I get. Thanks

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