Hi guys, I'm actually asking on behalf of my friend. She called me bawling her eyes out last night and told me that she's having problems with her husband of 7 months. (They've been together for 6 years though.)
Jim has been having health problems lately. He recently found out he's a Type 2 Diabetic, plus he has to wear a mask when he sleeps due to sleep apnea. He's 29, and I guess he thinks he doesn't have long. So Maggie partly thinks that their problems might be stemming from that.
I guess he's been acting weird for the past three weeks. Plus on top of his "weirdness" he added his ex-girlfriend to the top page of his MySpace. (I'm really sick of this site.) And I guess he has her number and what not. Jim was "joking" with Maggie's Uncle about "also having second doubts about getting married." Then, later he told her that he wanted to see his ex. Maggie asked if Jim still loved her. He said yes because there are different kinds of love. Maggie mentioned that how about both couples meet. (the ex is married) Jim wasn't down for that, he said Maggie couldn't be there. Though the ex's husband might be. (Doubtful.) In this same 3-week span, Jim also texted me -- his wife's closest friend -- and told me to COME OVER when Maggie was at work!! He jokes about crap, but I really didn't get the impression that he was joking this time. He also added some MySpace bulletin spam-thingie that asked for people to reply if they would ever consider him to be a " Buddy." This guy clearly has boundary issues. At any rate, Maggie and Jim had a fight. He stormed out and didn't come home until he knew she would be asleep four hours later. He wouldn't give her much information about his whereabouts. He wouldn't answer her phone calls. He said he was helping his 21-year-old punk friend with a relationship problem -- yet he was avoiding his own. He knew his wife was at home no doubt crying and struggling with issues. And he should have been there for his number one priority. When he got home, he put his gas mask on, during which he isn't able to talk. So she kept talking to him. She said, "If you love me, hold my hand." He didn't.
This guy isn't a communicator. Obviously. She even told him that they need that in a marriage. His reply was: "Says who." Then he $hit in the toilet, didn't flush, and said, "There, I'm communicating." I highly doubt this type of guy would do marriage counseling. Even she said so. I do have to admit, she keeps him on a short leash. But it really doesn't stop him. He does what he wants and has an active social life. Though I've never been married, I've been through this. I would suggest that she leave. Though I didn't tell her that. I do realize that marriage is the ultimate sacrifice and that people should work on it. But it shouldn't just be her sacrifice and just her working on it. Seriously, what should this girl do? She has a guy on her hands that insists he hangs out with his ex, who he might love. He totally dissed his wife. And he won't talk to her. What can she do? Though he may or may not have cheated YET. I think he has it in him to cheat. He clearly has no boundaries. Can someone please give me some insight. I would really like to help her. She's NEVER been through a breakup. He was her first love.