Originally Posted by
Jake2008
It is a fact of life that people cheat, and probably that is somewhere up there as being one of the main causes of divorces.
But, what about the fact that all through recorded history, people of wealth and status, had one or more lovers, and it was perfectly okay in society, and with the wife, as long as it was discreet.
What would we be saying to this OP, if the wife of her lover DID know about her. Would we be so quick to condemn? What if all three of them were honest about their relationships, and provided the two women never crossed paths, but were respectful enough of each ones 'position' in this man's life, then.........why is that so wrong.
There is a post here, posted recently, about a 2 woman, one man relationship, where they all live together, and get along, and most of us felt that if they are all happy, and it works for them, what is the harm.
Marriages don't work maybe because we presume that the 'other woman' is some sort of husband/homewrecker type of person, when, who are we to say that perhaps because of her, this man's marriage will remain strong, and the married couple part of it, are happy, and it is in the best interest of the child involved to have two parents-together.
If the arrangement is mature, honest, and nobody has false hope, or has a problem with the expectations of this man (as in expecting him to leave his wife for her), can we not maybe consider presuming that all parties involved are mature enough to handle it?
To the OP- this is your call. The cards are on the table, you know what's involved, and what the future holds, which at best, will be seeing him when he is not with his family. To me, in my opinion, that is only something you can answer- can you accept him on his terms, and can you comfortably sustain a relationship that will forever confine you to the 'status' of being a silent partner.
If you want more from a man, it is in your best interest, definately, to fully realize what you are getting, as opposed to what you are not, and in so deciding, make a decision.
The position you are in does not make you a bad person. Deciding what to do is entirely up to you. Hundreds of thousands have been in the same boat, and generally speaking, it won't work out if the man involved won't leave his wife- at least you have that truth to help you decide already, and haven't invested years in a man only to find out he will never be single.