Ask Me Help Desk - I am trying to adopt my baby sister.

I am trying to be able to adopt my sister. She is 1 and she has been in DHS custody ever since she was born. I had just learned about her in Feb. of this year and I actually learned that she was my sister in Sept. I have never gotten to know her. We live in different states. She has gone up for adoption and I am trying to get some advice on what I can do. I am trying to get to adopt her and I don't know what to do.

I have talked to the DHS and they say they can not give me any information. They have taken my information and they say that they are going to see if I can get her but I think that they are lying. The foster parents want to adopt her too. The DHS has told me that she is better off in foster care than with family and that hurts me a lot. The foster parents say that they will let her know her family and then they can just change their minds and we my never see her again. I lived in foster care and I know what they can say and not do.

I have not been raised with my other sister and we had to get a relationship when we became adults. I do not want that for her. I want to be able to keep our family together. I know that other people are having this problem so I decided to ask and see if I can get help. I guess that some parents don't care how their kids feel or they would not put us people through this.

If anyone can help please write me so I can get some ideas of what to do. Thank you for rtaking the time to read this.

Wow that sounds like a sticky situation. Well I do not know much but I am alays told that CPS tries to keep kids with their families as much as possible. Do you have a stable life? A job, place to live, no drugs and lead a healthy life? Also have you tried talking to a lawyer? I know that they are pricey but in most places the city has some free legal advice services. Good luck

Yes, I am really stable in my life. I am 28 years old. I am going to college and my husband is the one that makes the money so that why we decided that it is a good time to go back to school. We do have a place to live and we do not do drugs. We have 3 kids and we enjoy them. I have talked to a lawyer and I am going to use someone from the town that she is from. I know it is a bit pricey but I am willing to pay to keep my family together.

OK, your follow-up note gives me more hope than your original note did.

You are married with kids of your own, so I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to adopt her.

The only issue here is that the foster parents have bonded to some extent.

But since DHS is presenting a roadblock, you really need a lawyer to run interference for you. And you need to move as fast as possible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

OK, your followup note gives me more hope than your original note did.

You are married with kids of your own, so I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to adopt her.

The only issue here is that the foster parents have bonded to some extent.

But since DHS is presenting a roadblock, you really need a lawyer to run interference for you. And you need to move as fast as possible.

I know that things were not as clear but I was thinking and typing at the same time and some things I had left out. I am sorry this is just stressful and I have never been through this before. Thank you for your help.

I think you are most defintley on the right track to proving yourself capable. But just make sure you are prepared for it not only economically but emotionally as well. Many children not matter what age have a hard time adjusting to a new family and situation. I think what you are doing is wonderful and selfless but you are going to have to make adjustments as well. Keep us posted.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hazel1220

I think you are most defintley on the right track to proving yourself capable. But just make sure you are prepared for it not only economically but emotionally as well. Many children not matter what age have a hard time adjusting to a new family and situation. I think what you are doing is wonderful and selfless but you are going to have to make adjustments as well. Keep us posted.

I want to thank everyone for their advice and I am doing OK. I know it can be emotional because it has been emotional already for me and I have cried many times. I don't know why I cry but sometimes when I'm done then I feel better. I have hired a lawyer and I go see themn on Monday. They work with other lawyers all over the United States and if I have to go to court then they will have me a lawyer there and help me get prepared. I am not trying to be selfish I am just trying to keep my family together. I know how it is to be without your family and I do not want her to have to live that way. I was raised in fostercare. I was not raised with my older sister so I want to have a close relationship with my baby sister. I do not want to have to look for her in the future because you never know I may never find her. I have prayed and I hope that god answers my prayers because I feel I am doing the right thing.