hey, my x and I have been broken up for about 7 months now (she broke up with me) and its been kind of confusing. Since then we have been on and off. Her saying she loves and so on. But can't be back together. To fill you in on some details a few of her friends have died this past year. I understand what this would have done to her and everything and how it can confuse her, but this is where I am having trouble... Whenever I leave her alone and cut of the conversation, she calls me and talks to me and such, What am I meant to do? Or... more for it, what would the best thing to do. In reality, I just want to help her through this... Should I continue to just talk to her, or just give the complete cold shoulder towards her? Im just at the stage now that I still love her, and I want to help her. But as long as she keeps shoving me off and pulling closer, ill keep on suffering.

What should I do?

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Originally Posted by cheeseycheese

Im just at the stage now that i still love her, and i want to help her. but as long as she keeps shoving me off and pulling closer, ill keep on suffering.

What should i do?

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You have answered your own question. Why do you keep on letting yourself suffer? I am unsure as to whether she really loves your or just uses you as an emotional outlet for all of her unforuntate problems she is dealing with. I would think, if she wanted to be with you, it would happen. She uses you for emotional support, and when she is done, pushes you away until she needs you again. Am I reading this wrong?

Sorry dude, she has put you in friend zone, and counts on you still being there for her, as a friend. If you can handle that then fine, but I suspect you mistake friendship, for caring, and think the relationship can be restarted. It won't, so either stop talking to her (No Contact), and let yourself heal, or be real, and just be a friend, with no false hope for anything else.

She will always call, until someone else takes her interest, and then your friendship will take a back seat. Can you handle that?? Be honest with yourself. Be busy, but unavailable.

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Originally Posted by kctiger

You have answered your own question. Why do you keep on letting yourself suffer? I am unsure as to whether she really loves your or just uses you as an emotional outlet for all of her unforuntate problems she is dealing with. I would think, if she wanted to be with you, it would happen. She uses you for emotional support, and when she is done, pushes you away until she needs you again. Am I reading this wrong?

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That's how I see it too, but the thing is , she just calls to see if Im OK every day or two(usually every day). This is without bringing her own personal life into it, but like you said, why push myself into that situation.

They will do that to ensure that they are fresh in your mind. Do you really think they care about "how you are doing"? NO! They care about whether you pick up and respoond. Get the upper hand back!

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Originally Posted by kctiger

They will do that to ensure that they are fresh in your mind. Do you really think they care about "how you are doing"? NO!! They care about whether or not you pick up and respoond. Get the upper hand back!

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Haha you just made women sound like the total enemy :p, but never the less, that's quite likey the case in this situation

This is not a gender thing, it is an ex thing. Both ex bf's and gf's will do this. Just a way of keeping themselves a priority to someone they broke up with. The key is not to let them have the upper hand.