He's had an affair, what now?
My husband and I have been together for over 12 years/married for 11. We have a young child. I have been at home with our child all of her life.
About 2 years ago, I found out the he was having an affair. He said that it never turned physical. If nothing else, it was an emotional affair. Well, I took him back. He begged me stay and acknowledged that he messed up. I told him that there were certain things I needed from him in order for this to work. And for a while, things got so much better. I actually caught myself saying to a friend that maybe the affair was a blessing in disguise because we were closer than ever.
About 6 months ago, our lives began to fall apart. Lack of communication, compassion, etc.
Well, earlier this month, I found out he was still having an affair with this person and it has been going on for 3 years! I was shocked and devastated.
I knew we had some issues, but I never anticipated this. Especially after he saw what he did to me the first time around.
Let me say, that I love my husband. I love my family that we have built together.
I am having a real difficult time dealing with the betrayal and all of the emotions that come with something like this.
Unexpectedly, I am also having trouble letting go of this man that I have loved for most of my adult life. A HUGE part of me wants to try and get through this together. I just don't have any clue of how to do that. I just know that it is almost impossible to imagine my daily life with out him in it.
I guess my question is this...
Is there anyone out there that has been in my shoes and has seen the other side of this? Have you been able to keep your marriage in tact? If so, HOW DID YOU DO IT? I have so many questions for my husband - I need full disclosure to even determine if this relationship can be saved - I just don't know what the right questions are.
Can you ever truly trust again?