Ask Me Help Desk - I want to be a foster child

Well it's kind of stupid actually. I'm just fine, kind of. Yeah there have been A BUNCH of days where me and my family don't get along, and they replaced me with two other foster kids. There are days that left scars and bruises but nothing so serious to call CPS or tell a counselor or anything. Nothing serious. Everything is fine. But my parents have some things I just can't deal with. First of all, in a grown teenager, and my parents still won't get me a phone. I have no friends to text! Who will I be calling? Second of all, I know everyone thinks that our sub genre has been extinct, but I am into some of the 'darker' forms of life. But I don't completely submerge myself in death comics and sinister things. Whenever I pick out clothing, I always ask for something black and my mother says 'stop trying to be gothic'. But I'm not. Being in love with fashion like I am, I know, black goes with everything. I'm not going to go up in school with khaki pants or green pants that don't go with anything. My mom always thinks in into sinister and gothic things when I'm just being myself. I don't like being categorized into sub genres.

Anyway, I want parents who don't put me down all the time. My mom calls me fat all the time, compares me to other people, and calls me stupid. She yells non stop about how much she wants me to be the perfect kid. Well, news flash, no ones perfect. My dad always finds the solution to things by yelling and hitting and he's always sticking up for the other kids in the house. I was a good kid once upon a time. Until I was replaced and now I'm the middle child. I want to be in a family that has no other kids, just a mom, and someone who lets me be like every other normal kid. I've wanted to be in dance for forever, but my mom says I'm too fat and I can't amount to something like that. I want a single mother who will let me start hobbies, get an iPod, let me shop at Hot Topic if I wanted to and not criticize me for who I am.

I know I've left out a bunch because my mind is a sponge right now, but I really want to have that perfect foster mother. Will the police take me just because I want a new parent? Will they let me say what I want my family to be like? I want to know those things.

Are your parents willing to have CPS come in and then sign you away? (How old are you? I'm guessing 13 or 14.)

Funny how kids... willfully misbehave then complain they aren't treated like angels. Word of warning... be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. And when you get it and find out what its REALLY like... and that's far worse than your fantasy.. you would be stuck with it.

And sorry... every other normal kid doesn't get to do everything they want... particularly when they are willful and disobedient.

Also very, very few people get good at it and far fewer make a living in dance.

And the being yourself thing? Sounds really good to YOU, but in the real world... good luck finding a job... or a good job. People that hire people don't like people who prefer to do their own thing. And they won't hire them.

But you can live under the bridge with other unemployed homeless people that want to do their own thing too.

Normal kids do what their parents tell them... because the parents know far more than the kids do.

When you are old enough to support yourself... then you can try to do your own thing... but you will likely find you can't afford to... or it will mean not getting a job or fired from one.

Life is harsh... its even harsher for people that won't conform or fit in. Time to learn that its not what a child's mind believes its like. Before you ruin what chances you might have to do well in the future.

Also...you aren't entitled to a phone until you can pay for your own every month....they are expensive....do you have any concept of the value of money? Apparently not.

I'm sorry to say that you are stuck with what you have. Unless you are severely abused and/or neglected, you won't be put into foster care.

You you also want to be raised by a single mother? Do you have any idea how worse off you would be?

You want a phone? Get a job. Your parents aren't required to buy you a phone. That is something you earn, and by the sound of it, it's going to be a cold day in he11 before you earn it with your attitude.

You don't have a phone and don't get to shop at Hot Topic? Gosh... I feel so sorry for you. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'd like to tell you what a foster child looks like at school from a teacher's point of view: If I'm lucky, I can get a hold of their foster parents. I tell them their student needs a backpack for school. They come in and drop off a "Dora" backpack for an 11-12 year old. They dress in a few outfits picked out at Walmart. They are bright colors and some cartoon character. Lunch is free at the cafeteria, no snacks from home, no school supplies. Shoes are cheap, too. Each month, a few more outfits are purchased without the child's input. The student is embarrassed and cries to me about being teased. They want a new foster home. If you think it's a piece of cake Bubblegoth, welcome to my world. It's a fantasy you've come up with, not reality. P.S. If you are being abused, do call CPS or tell your teacher.

"I have no friends to text!" Oh, you poor thing. That along should make CPS get you out of your house and into a foster home. OMG, thinking about texting, neither do I!! Do you think I can find someone to adopt me, I'm only 74. Get a life dear girl, you could be in a family of druggies and abusers. Hint. Become 18, get a job and move out! By then I'm sure you will know everything there is to know, will make at least minimum wage and can buy all the black you want.

You want to go into foster care with a single mom, and be the only child in her care? Good luck with that. Being a foster parent isn't easy, and most (sadly) do it for the money. Taking in only one child, is not financially beneficial. The more kids you take in, the more money you get, and single people with no kids, normally don't qualify to be fosters.

If you did find the one and only single woman that is a foster parent and only wants to foster one child, what makes you think you'd get a phone, and shopping sprees to wherever you want to go? LOL! As a foster kid you'll be lucky to get hand me down clothes, you can forget the phone.

You sound like a spoiled brat that doesn't like the rules in your house, doesn't like that mommy and daddy won't buy you whatever you want, doesn't like the fact that you're not an only child and have to share their affection. You sound spoiled, severely spoiled.

Want a phone? Get a job and buy one! Want to shop at certain stores and buy whatever you want to buy? Get a job!

From what you wrote, you're not being abused, you're being raised. Calling you fat, if your mom is indeed doing that, is not right, and not okay, but I doubt very much that CPS will take you away for that. If they do, then you will not end up in a foster care home of your choosing. You'll likely end up with a family that has many fosters, you'll have to share a room, you'll get hand me down clothes, no phone, and very little attention. That's the foster care system.

Be a bit more grateful for what you do have, and stop complaining about what you want and can't have. Earn the things you want, don't expect others to get them for you. That's part of growing up. I suggest you do that. Grow up.

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Whenever I pick out clothing, I always ask for something black and my mother says 'stop trying to be gothic'. But I'm not.

Just have to ask. If you're not trying to be goth, why is your username Bubblegoth?

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Originally Posted by Alty

You want to go into foster care with a single mom, and be the only child in her care? Good luck with that. Being a foster parent isn't easy, and most (sadly) do it for the money. Taking in only one child, is not financially beneficial. The more kids you take in, the more money you get.

She mentioned her parents took in two foster children. I wonder why.