So I recently graduated college having my Associates degree in Mechanical Design Technology - 21 years old. Got a job in the field and working with my aunt (though its probably because of her I got in). Anyway I was hired with a 90 day probation. I am on my 60th day working there, one side note, I having no experience in the work field at all before all this other than school. I work under my aunt and her partner/boss. He/boss is one of the worst person to work under. Every time I make a mistake not only does he criticize on this one mistake, he gets angry and belittles me. I can see that I made the mistake, but do you really have to take out your anger and shove it on me? This is the most stressful I have ever gotten in my live. I am not a person that hold on to the past or can get angry with someone, but with him I feel like I could just kill myself. At this point I am very stressed and depressed at the same time. I used to go to the gym everyday, but now its come to a point where I can't even get the energy to go anymore. I feel tired when I just get home from work. Whenever I hear his voice, my body automatically feels stressed, and blood is rushing down my throughout my body. Every time he wants to talk to me I can just feel how angry he gets, and how much anger he's throwing to me. He also even yells at me when there are others around. He's been in the company for almost 8 years and is around his late 40's, divorced, and single. Every time I even see him, my heart just sinks down to a little corner with no escape.
Enough about him now to me, I am a person that is kind of like an outsider to everyone, I don't have much friends after high school. Went to a technical school, so everyone in the field was pretty much 20+ older than me. Don't have much hobbies, only people who I hang out with is my family. Throughout high school and college I was probably angry once. So anger isn't something I know much about. I am currently living with my parents and it isn't a problem since I am helping them paying the bills. So money isn't the problem for me.
Long story short I am most likely depressed/stressed with work. I want to quit and find somewhere else to work, but at the same time I don't want to quit. The reason that I really can't is because of my aunt and how she was the reason I got in. Any advice on this because I would love to hear them from everyone. I know that someone might say to toughen up and deal with it, but it's depressing to do. I feel like I should just move on with my life and quit. There are many times that I question myself with what am I doing with myself, is this really just it, what's the point in my life if I am not happy. I understand feeling happy is good, but I don't feel like I have a goal to keep going on for anymore. Everyday I wake up and it's just too depressing to wake up anymore. I know that this is just my first job, but I feel like this job just isn't for me.