I've always heard that my first time it will hurt, so I was somewhat prepared. The first time it hurt so badly that we had to stop but I knew that the hymen broke. But my boyfriend and I have tried again 2 other times and I get such excruciating pain once he goes in maybe 3 inches that I've forced him to stop. Is that normal?.

May I ask your ages please? Our advice will differ depending on ages.

I'm 19.

There can be several reasons for the pain.

The hymen may still be stretching/tearing.

You may be expecting the pain and your body is tightening up causing more discomfort.

You may not be feeling completely comfortable with having sex. It could be environmental such as the room is too cold or hot. It could be distractions such as worry about being interrupted. Even a concern about possible pregnancy can cause your body to react even if you aren't consciously thinking about it.

It may be that you aren't fully aroused. You may be trying to move on to penetration before your body is ready for it. It takes a while for the female to get fully aroused and prepared for intercourse. If you aren't taking time and getting mentally into it then your body may be telling you to slow down or change how you have foreplay. Using fingers (make certain they are clean and nails are smooth) to stretch might help.

If you don't already have one, you might think about getting a vibrator and seeing if you have the same issues with it as you do with your boyfriend. It can allow you to try different angles and control the depth to see if the pain occurs only at certain points. It can also help stretch and get your body to be receptive to penetration. Vibrators and adult toys are great for experimenting (remember to keep them clean) and for mutual pleasure.

If you are still experiencing pain, you need to see your gynecologist. There could be a medical reason.

You may not be lubricated enough.

It was months before I knew exactly how long I needed to be aroused for to be fully lubricated for sex. Also, after I lost my virginity, it was about 7-8 sex sessions before it wasn't painful to enter.

It's just something you have to get used to. Like bikini waxing!

X Dani