Advice on post-college breakup. Struggling to cope with the breakup - Please read/hel
Everyone has their own story so here is mine:
My ex-girlfriend and I met in college, dated for all 4 years until recently. We spent almost everyday together, she was my support and best friend. Like any couple, we had our problems, and I was her first ever relationship. I received a job offer out in Chicago and in Michigan (home) post-college, but I chose to move to Chicago. We both are graduated from college now, and post-college, she moved down south for a few months to stay with her parents until she found a job. In those months, we webcammed and I stayed in the weekends to keep her company since she didn't know anyone.
She then received a job back at the university that we both attended and moved back there. As soon as she moved back, I tried to come back more, but I guess things weren't the same. She's preoccupied in the "college atmosphere" with her friends always being there while I'm more in the real world atmosphere. She just wanted to have fun, since she wasn't single all throughout college. I felt like I was thrown to the curb even though I stayed in on weekends for her when she was down south. Out of sight/out of mind?
I really don't know that many people and was homesick, so I felt like she left me at a time where I needed her support the most. When she broke up with me via webcam, she told me that she loved me, but wasn't in love with me anymore. Those words broke my heart. She told me that I'm a nice guy, but she doesn't want to be with me and wants someone different.
So for a month after the breakup, I did all the desperate things a person would do to try to win her back. Bought her gifts, etc. She took them, but it was temporary happness. Obviously, it didn't win her back. After New Years, she's gradually stopped talking to me, presumely to let me get over her. I read that I should do the no contact policy and there may be a chance that she misses me. However, I feel like this backfires since she's the one initiating the no contact. She's also too busy to really think about me, so I feel like I'll gradually be forgotten.
4 years is a long time, when you spent every moment of your college with them. I really am heartbroken. It's been affecting my work and my life. I haven't given up hope, but I know I need a miracle for her to come back to me, especially with the 4 hour distance. Is there anything I can do to set myself up for her to come back? I know you can't make someone fall back in love. It's been a little more than a month now, and I still am a wreck. I go to the gym, take care of myself, but when I come home, there's that empty feeling. I would really like her back, because I know there won't be another man that'll treat her or care about her as much as I will... and I know that the next guy will have a clean slate and won't have to try as hard to get her.
I stuck at the crossroad with letting go. It's something that I really don't want to do. I know she's the best thing that's happened to me. I really would love to get married one day to her. I've tried to meet new people, but they don't compare to her. I've never met someone that I was so emotionally and physically attracted to.
Is there anything I can do to set myself up for a chance at her coming back? I realize the chances are slim to none, but if there's anything I can do, I'm willing to sacrifice.
Ex Girlfriend Problem (She ended with me too)?
Threads merged
My ex girlfriend ended things with me almost 2 months ago. We were together for all 4 years in college and she broke up with me once I moved out of state for a job offer. I was heartbroken and tried really hard to get back with her. I started No Contact with her almost 3 months ago. Last weekend, I saw her for the first time. I was picking up my friend from her apartment, but I refused to go in since I wasn't ready and didn't want to regress.
I got a text from her saying "You're selfish." I explained to her back that "I'm not ready to see you, I don't want to regress, I hope you understand." Which she replied "No, I don't. You're f-ing selfish." Later on in the evening, I start getting these pretty rude texts like "Stop stealing my friends, get your own." (We have mutual friends, some that I've known longer than her)... and otheres calling me "a selfish little bit*h, and that she has never met someone that was as big of a douchebag as me." Then she proceeded to call me and yell at me. This was the first time I guess I stood up for myself and didn't give her attention. I catered to her for the past 4 years and was always there for her. The very next day, I went to her apartment to say goodbye to all her roommates and herself (we're all mutual friends back in college.) We talked a little and she asked me to help her fill up her car tires with air since she didn't know how to, like nothing happened... she knows I have a soft spot for her.
After this weekend, I went back home, I've been feeling guilty. I felt like I've regressed even though I made so much progress in the past 2 months. It's been hell since she ended things with me. I don't know if I should continue No Contact or talk to her about this weekend and apologize that I didn't say hi to her...