My Husbands ex wife is intruding in our family!
I am married to a man that I thought was the love of my life. We have been married for three years together four years. When I started dating my husband he an his ex wife were still married in the middle of a divorce an had been separated seven years. Therefore I in no way caused their divorce. However I did try an get along with his ex wife for the sake of his son. Now here we are three years into this marriage an have had nothing but hell from his ex from the min we said I DO!
MY HUSBANDS SON IS NOW 17 YEARS OLD AN WILL BE 18 JUNE 2017! However his ex wife has done everything she can to keep my husband away from his son. Even with court ordered visitation she has kept his son from him an has his son thinking anything but the truth about his father. She has even went to the extent of saying that while we were dating she was still sleeping with my husband an they were trying to get back together. Yet as I said I know there is no truth to what she says an they were separated seven years when we started dating.
Recently she has started bringing my step son to see his grandmother an even calling etc, claiming she is giving us another chance to be in my step sons life. However up until this point ever since we got married she has done nothing but everything she could to keep us from seeing or talking to him. Now she is always around, she even took my mother in law to the hospital one day when she was having afib (HEART CONDITION), not that I was upset about that, that would have been fine had she left it at just that. It is more or less that she stayed up at the hospital so that we couldn't go an not see her an she keeps on doing all the things we are suppose to do. Its like while she was in the hospital we could go to feed my mother in laws dog an she will have already done so or tells us oh don't worry I have already took care of that.
Now here we were the other day having to deal with her being over to see my mother in law when we went to see her, I went out to smoke under the garage an she of course joined me an wanted to talk like we were old pals. As much as I wanted to punch her in the face I acted like a adult an carried on with what I went to do . My Husbands ex wife informs me that my husband is the one that chose to marry me an be with me an that it was not my step sons choice or hers therefore my step son was not going to pay the price for it. So if we want my step son to be in our lives we will have to accept the fact that all holidays birthdays etc will be done with all of us together or he will not be in our lives at all. This of course struck me like lightening and I did not reply. Instead I told my husband and he just was like whatever.
Then a few days ago my husband was working out of town and ask me why I had not been to see his mom. I told him because I did not feel like dealing with the ex and I just decided to stay home and do things I needed to, my husband got mad an said oh so the hell with mom, that's what your saying. Who gives a ****if she is there she is doing what the hell you should be doing. So how am I suppose to do anything when she is always there and why should I have to deal with her to be in this marriage at all? I could see if his son were a little kid or whatever but he is almost 18 years old ! Its not like he don't understand. The thing is if we don't do what the ex wife wants us to and put up with the way she wants things to be then she fills my step sons head with lies and then he won't talk to or have anything to do with his father. Until this day she says he won't stay the night with his dad cause it's a strange place. I mean really he isn't a little kid the young man is almost a adult an still the whole crowd acts as if he is five years old .
I am so stuck on what to do or not to do, it is unreal. I mean I am a new grandmother, this will be my granddaughters first Christmas this year, do I really have to share that memory with my husbands ex wife and why should me and my kids be uncomfortable this Christmas and every holiday having to share them with her there. Is it wrong that I am second guessing my commitment to this marriage? I mean if my husband is going to allow it then that says a lot about how he feels about me and him and our marriage and I don't know that I can deal with this. I feel like it puts me and my kids second. I am not asking him to put me ahead of his son but his son is almost 18, he doesn't have to have his mom there.
Readers can you please give me advice on how to handle this an what I should do. I know my husbands ex wife wants him back and I feel like by doing this its her and maybe his son's way of trying to make that happen. Am I wrong for having a issue with this? Please give me some advice. I am desperate in South Carolina.