I am 42, live in Maryland, have been married for 15 years and am seeking a divorce. My name is not on any property (house, car, etc) except for a joint checking account (which he is taking money out of as soon as it goes in). My husband is threatening to "kick me out" if I file for divorce. I have been a stay-at-home mother for 9 years and have virtually nothing in my name. If I file, he'll want me to leave. As of yet, I have no job, no money, nothing. Can he kick me out? Also, if I do leave, is he required to pay alimony or some sort of support until I get back on my feet? Also, am I entitled to half his pension from the State of Maryland (he's a police chief)? And if the house is not in my name, am I entitled to any of its value?
Thank you very much for any assistance anyone out there can lend.

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Originally Posted by wantsout

I am 42, live in Maryland, have been married for 15 years and am seeking a divorce. My name is not on any property (house, car, etc) except for a joint checking account (which he is taking money out of as soon as it goes in). My husband is threatening to "kick me out" if I file for divorce. I have been a stay-at-home mother for 9 years and have virtually nothing in my name. If I file, he'll want me to leave. As of yet, I have no job, no money, nothing. Can he kick me out? Also, if I do leave, is he required to pay alimony or some sort of support until I get back on my feet? Also, am I entitled to half his pension from the State of Maryland (he's a police chief)? And if the house is not in my name, am I entitled to any of its value?
Thank you very much for any assistance anyone out there can lend.

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Wow. Sorry to hear that he is doing that to you. I am not familiar with the laws in MD, but I do believe that you are entitled to half of everything that he has. That is the law in FL and I believe the same for most states unless you signed a pre-nup. Regarding if he can kick you out, I don't believe that he has the right to do that since you are his wife and have been living there for 9 years. Consult a lawyer honey. They usually offer a free consultation. God bless you and take care of you! Sounds like he is a real jerk. You will be better off without him anyway.

If you have the child living with you, most often the mother will be awarded the right to stay living in the house, as it is seen as the family home. I would get yourslf some real legal advice on this, but as his wife you do have a claim to anything acquired duriong marriage, and even if you haven't contributed to the mortgage etc, the law sees your role as mother and homemaker as a contribution instead of a financil one. But it does really depend on where you live. I would imagine he is saying all of this to try to scare you into staying with him. Don't let him. Good luck.

Well OK, if he changes the locks one day, I guess he can phsycailly kick you out, maybe not legally, but phsycially of course he can kick you out,

Why don't you beat him to the money when it goes in? You take it out first, your name is on the account. Why don't you go look for a job now.

He may nor may not have to pay alimony, but it can take months and months and months of court battles where you will need an attorney to ever see it.

And did he own the house before you were married, and why is the house only in his name?

Do not leave the house. He may try physically to get you out however he would not have the law on his side. You could simply call the police and demand re-entry as this house is yours as well. No matter the name on the deed. File for divorce and follow your attorney's advice. Exercise your rights but protect yourself as well. Good luck. Cathy

I was married to a police officer and I totally understand what you are going through. What your husband is doing is trying to intimidate you. First and foremost, consult with a lawyer before you do anything else. Police officers are trained to use intimidation on the job and very often they bring that same mentality home. Also keep in mind that just because your husband is paid to enforce the law does not mean that he knows everything about the law. The only people who can really interpret the law would be a lawyer or a judge. If you ever have a question about any law, always consult with an attorney. Your husband will continue to use threats to keep you in line.

There is a web site that deals with these very issues. It is called abuseofpower.info Check out this website, as it gives a lot of good information on how to protect yourself and how to cope. Diane Wetendorf, who is very well versed in this issue, is a wonderful resource.

In regard to his being able to kick you out of the house, speak with a lawyer and find out the best ways to protect yourself. Because your husband is a police officer, he can try and provoke you into doing something stupid and then can have you arrested for assaulting a police officer, even if you push him away from you in self defense. Police officers all know how to word a report in order for the charge to stick. Don't let this happen. If you feel that he is trying to get you involved in an argument, walk away. Walk to a neighbors house. Always try and have someone present or within ear shot so that they can verify your side of the story.

As far as getting half of everything, I believe that you would have to be married for 10 years before you would be guaranteed to get half of his pension. In regard to the house, consult with a lawyer. If the house was purchased during the marriage, it should be viewed as a marrital asset and you would be entitled to a share of it, regardless of whether your name is on it. Again, this is my interpretation and only a lawyer would be able to accurately advise you.

Be strong, because you will need it. Start to document everything. Keep a diary and make an entry every single day. Indicate everything that you do with your child/children. Did you take them to school? Did you take them to the doctor? Did your husband come home late? Did he come home intoxicated? Whatever you do, do not start doing things that he could use against you. A lot of your friends may advise you that you need to start going out and "getting on with your life". However, do not start changing your behavior now. An acquaintance of mine lost custody of her children because of this. She was the primary caretaker of the children during the day and then when her husband came home, she would physically leave the house to go out with friends because she found it very difficult to stay in the house with her soon to be ex. Well, her husband kept a calendar and wrote down every time that she went out and used this against her. The judge took this into consideration and granted custody to the husband because he felt that the mother was choosing to go out versus staying home with the children at night. My lawyer always advised me to never go to bars, even if you only drink soft drinks. You never know if your husband will have you followed, as he is the police chief and he can have one of his friends or someone who works for him follow you and then say that you were drunk and beligerent, etc. Don't put yourself in that position.

I hope that this helps. Good luck to you. Don't live in fear, but make sure that you don't put yourself in any kind of position that could be taken out of context and then be used against you.

I forgot to mention one last thing. Make sure that if you are keeping a diary that your husband does not find it. If he finds it, he will then know that you are documenting everything and will know your game plan. Also, he could destroy it and there goes your evidence. Only you know where you can put it so that he does not find it.

Again, remain strong and good luck!!

Believe me you have the upper-hand, it seems that he is threatening you in order to keep you from divorcing him. If he is a police chief he should know that law should be balanced more your way than his. Get a good lawyer and move on with your life.

Can my husband kick me out of our councle property my names not on the tenecy and no children involved

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Originally Posted by lynndie08

can my husband kick me out of our councle property my names not on the tenecy and no children involved

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And he wonts me to leave I have been living there for 6 months as a married couple

This new question should be the beginning of a new thread. The previous posts do not necessarily apply to your situation.

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Originally Posted by lynndie08

can my husband kick me out of our councle property my names not on the tenecy and no children involved

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I assume you are in Britain?

How would he "kick you out"? Obviously, he cannot physically eject you as the expression suggests. He can ask you to leave. And you can refuse.

No he cant. God bless

I am married if I move out what can I take with me ?

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Originally Posted by rkp1952

I am married if i move out what can i take with me ?

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Unless these are your same circumstances you have to start a new thread: am 42, live in Maryland, have been married for 15 years and am seeking a divorce. My name is not on any property (house, car, etc) except for a joint checking account (which he is taking money out of as soon as it goes in). My husband is threatening to "kick me out" if I file for divorce. I have been a stay-at-home mother for 9 years and have virtually nothing in my name. If I file, he'll want me to leave. As of yet, I have no job, no money, nothing. Can he kick me out? Also, if I do leave, is he required to pay alimony or some sort of support until I get back on my feet? Also, am I entitled to half his pension from the State of Maryland (he's a police chief)? And if the house is not in my name, am I entitled to any of its value?
Thank you very much for any assistance anyone out there can lend.

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Originally Posted by rkp1952

I am married if i move out what can i take with me ?

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Whatever you think you need.

It will all be sorted out in a divorce anyway.

Well, I am in the same position, only I am a guy.
At this point I am still married but kicked out the house. We have been married for 7 years and I deposited all of my 300,000/year into the joint account. My wife only makes 20,000/year but deposited it in a private account I was not aware of. She also deposits her allowance in there she gets from her ex. I also have kids from a previous marriage and every school holiday they fly over, this is quite an expense but didn't bother us much because I earned enough although my new wife verbally outed her disagreement. Now three months ago I lost my job and have no income what so ever, the joint accounts are empty but hers is full yet I have no access to it. She kicked me out, threatening she would call the cops if I didn't comply (woman really can have the police throw you out your house solely by claining they feel threatened) I have 700 dollars left, no job and no family left. Whenever I approach the house to go ask for some stuff she threatens to call the cops so I leave. She also tricked me into handing over the keys. Her:" show me some good will so i don't feel threatened anymore that you will just walk in the house one day, otherwise the idea that you can enter the house anytime makes me want to file a restraining order" So I did. Then I called the cops since my name is on the title and I am denied access to the house, I have the right to get some of my stuff... accept that is when you don't have the keys anymore... my only option is to get a lawyer... which I cannot afford. It's Tueday right now, this Friday I am kicked out of the hotel.

Here's my problem - your wife still gets spousal support from her ex? Where is this?