Ask Me Help Desk - The Military.

I'm 18 years old involved with a 20 year old Marine. He was my first serious boyfriend. We have been together for over a year, and have known each other for over 2 years now. He has been in the military since last summer. Obviously, we could handle 3 months of only having letters as contact during boot camp, and then another 7+ when he went to his MOS, we talked twice a week. As long as we've been together, he has been around maybe for 9 of those months. Since he has moved closer to me (about 1 1/2 hours away) I see him on the weekends. We're extremely close considering we don't get to see each other or talk to each other so much, but our relationship is really friendship based, more than a mushy, fake, "girlfriend and boyfriend" deal, even though we sometimes get mushy on each other just for the heck of it =) We do show and voice our affection other than saying "I love you"... "I love you more!" every hour or so. He's now reserve and wants to augment into active duty, which I'm cool with, if I were him I would do the same, but how do I handle if/when he goes overseas? I mean, we are pretty much used to not seeing each other, and this will obviously be different. Most of my friends are in the military, and I have watched several of them leave to Iraq and come back, so I'm not unfamiliar with how much contact you get with that person, and how long they're gone, etc. Which really, always varies. My fiancé though, worries that if he goes, I won't stay faithfull to him, that I will leave him, which is really unlike me. I'm EXTREMELY committed person, but that is what he has been told, so that is what he thinks. I don't know 1. How to get it in his head that I WILL NOT leave him, and 2. handle him leaving if and when he does. I won't leave him, but I'm wondering how to handle the whole situation personally. Any advice would be helpful.

Hi. I am a marine, with 37 years of direct combat experience... from Viet Nam, through the drug wars in South America, the first and second Gulf Wars, finally returning from three years in Iraq last Sept. Do not trust his adventurous nature... he is under the influence of rampaging hormones, and doesn't know it. If you are patient, it will pass... Good luck...

Just be there for him always and when he's gone constantly send him letters and possible videos of you telling him what you want to say. Just always let him know that you love him and that you'll be there for him even when he's in Iraq. You're a good girlfriend so let him know it :) I wish you both the best of luck and a happy future together!

<3 kt

Exeperience talks for itself!

This is coming from a prior navy man, who was honestly one of the rare guys on bored... how was I rare? I was the only one not cheating on a significant other. The thing is so were most of the women! I'm sorry to say it, but I just wouldn't trust him being gone for 6 months at a time. Now he could be one of the "rare" ones that doesn't cheat but seriously that's not even 1 in 100 its more like 1 in a thousand that stays faithful from my experience. And like I said same thing goes for the women. Its not just a man thing. And its not just "oh he's been gone so long now and im really horny" its "his ship left today im gonna go find some action" and I do mean that. So I can understand his concern, but as well you should be concerned over him cheating. It's the ugly honest truth. Hope this sad advice helps.

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkvision

This is coming from a prior navy man, who was honestly one of the rare guys on bored.... how was i rare? i was the only one not cheating on a significant other. the thing is so were most of the women! im sorry to say it, but i just wouldnt trust him being gone for 6 months at a time. now he could be one of the "rare" ones that doesnt cheat but seriously thats not even 1 in 100 its more like 1 in a thousand that stays faithful from my experience. and like i said same thing goes for the women. its not just a man thing. and its not just "oh he's been gone so long now and im really horny" its "his ship left today im gonna go find some action" and i do mean that. so i can understand his concern, but as well you should be concerned over him cheating. its the ugly honest truth. hope this sad advice helps.

Wow, couldn't be more true, I'm active military also (army) and when I 1st joined I got hit on A lot by married men, and men who had gf's. It was SO awkward at 1st my 1st response was YOUR MARRIED or YOU HAVE A GF. & 90% of the time The Same answer from the men were SO WHAT?. Ive been in 2yrs now & IAM so use to it. I see a lot guys NOT ALL but most cheat. When there away from there females for so long they start telling themselves "well shes probably cheating anyways too" and that's how most justify it. Sad but VERY VERY true. If he loves you & trust you then I'm sure he will feel secure enough to wait it out with you.

Distance and being away from your loved one is a VERY HARD thing to go through in the military and the divorce rate in the military is VERY high on accounting the affairs. For both the ones at home & serving.