I met my boyfriend now ex.. on icq 4 years ago we chatted for about 8 months and then he flew me to canada. We did this back and forth back and forth invested a lot into the relationship.. some my money but a lot his part cause he had a higher position at work then me.. we both have finished college I am 26 he is 28. At one point I lost my job and things went hard then.. he was always there for me though he would help me pay my bills and he was only going into more debt.. I finally landed a position offered to pay it back and he did not want it but I did try and still try he won't take it. He says he would rather see me just get on my own two feet so he doesn't have to send like that again and get into more financial hardship. I understand that. 2 weeks ago I was feeling insecure about the relationship because we hadn't been talking that much during these hard working months when I didn't have a job and I also undestand he was working to help me so he was busy but at the same time I missed him and fed into my insecurities because we were talking less and unfortantly during a conversation told him he was gay because he doesn't call me sexy anymore and I kind of pushed the envelope on it. He immediately broke up with me saying he's not going to put up with that type of treatment considering all he's done for me. I understand that too.. I did apologize deeply, I called him, wrote him a letter, and I have vowed to be a better me for him.. come visit him in April since I work now etc.. But he won't budge. If I bring up the topic he says stop bothering me with this enough already I've told you the answer ( breakup). He will talk about other things sometimes or he will just ignore me on the chat. So I have learned its best I give him space so I am out of my needy stage... But in the letter I did express how insecuire I was feeling and that its just I miss him and we need some time togetehr and now that I have a position I want to come see him or at least help him pay off the debt etc.. And I want to write letters again etc... cause like I said we went through a period where he was working a lot and me finding work and we talked just not like we use to as far as letters calls etc.. Mostly small chats. I think he feels unappreciated perhaps but I'm def. here for him and have always been and I never taken anything he has given me for granted and that is money and if we have plans to be together the money will work out is what I tell him but I been waiting 4 years just as much as he has so I'm shocked after investing so much into this and time and patience and dedication and yes money etc.. That hed break up so easy. So that is the money aspect of it the gay part of it that is going on. Some other reasons he could have broken up are..
1. doesn't want to do LD anymore
2. Doesn't want a visa or me to get one..
3 another girl - doubtful though cause he spends so much time investing into me and making sure I am OK but you never know but I totally have trusted him.
4. feels real unappreciated- in which I never ever meant this at all really love him..
5. or it is just the gay thing bugged him a lot.. he claims he told me never to ask this ( prob told me yrs ago) or hed flip out.. cause he his gay phobic.. but also in reality its prob more along the lines of I said that at a time he was helping me cause I just recently landed work.
6. Scared of future marriage moving etc...
7. Feels the grass is greener else where
Also he has not taken me off his messenger.. I left him on.. cause I am not sure of his reasons for that...
We also have never broken up before or done anything like that we have had small tiffs but nothing out the ordinary... we try to make this relationships real and make it work so this is a huge disappointment.
Anyway when he broke up with me 2 weeks ago he did it real hasty I'm not sure if he thought it out well but it was right after I said the gay thing maybe it was a good reason to opt out don't know... Im not sure what is the reason what do you guys think.. what are my chances here? I have done the needy stage unfortantly I may of pushed him off abit.. but now I'm on the space. This man if he can learn to communicate with me... cause I have tried to get him to talk about his feelings and he will avoid or talk about something else or just ignore if we can learn to communicate and get off this LD path Id love to marry him this is the one for me if he sees it fit too... but I also would never want to force this relationship on him.. I want to be loved cause he loves me. I do wish he would understand that there are bumps in relationships and this is one of the hard ones but that we can make it I have expressed that to him... he doesn't really respond. I also understand that what I said the gay antic wasn't nice, esp after 4 years but.. also I think to break up over that is strange.. that's why I hint at the other reasons.. but hey it could just be the gay thing.. I mean id figured hed say a break space or lets talk later.. but he literally just broke up with me I'm shocked.. any advice is appreciated?