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-   -   What made him go through my phone? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=846432)

  • Sep 11, 2019, 06:08 AM
    honeybun35
    What made him go through my phone?
    Ok so my fwb and I was out one day last week. We were in the car traveling for a bit.As we kept making several spots I had to make a run in one of the restaurants we stopped at to use the restroom. As I coming back towards the car I noticed he was leaned over where I was sitting at putting something down. There was nothing over there but my phone charging and my purse.

    Week later he makes a post about something which could be anything but he used the person name that I was chatting with that day through messenger. He is also a male friend of mine.
  • Sep 11, 2019, 08:31 AM
    Wondergirl
    Do not leave your purse and phone unattended -- huge temptations. Always take them with you.
  • Sep 11, 2019, 08:36 AM
    honeybun35
    I know and funny because every time we stopped I did . That last time I was rushing because it was McDonald's and I knew I probably didn't have no where to hang my purse so I wasn't long I rushed in and out. Those bathrooms get very disgusting.Now I do know. Also as I was leaving he was on a phone call with his son.
  • Sep 11, 2019, 09:58 AM
    talaniman
    What made him go through my phone?

    Suspicion, jealousy, mistrust, insecurity! That's just the beginning.
  • Sep 11, 2019, 10:46 AM
    honeybun35
    wow but we are just fwb. I even discuss with co-workers they all say same thing.That post was for me.
  • Sep 11, 2019, 12:31 PM
    talaniman
    Any relationship, especially an FWB can get complicated by all kinds of feelings. Happens all the time and things change. Now what?

    If the post was for you what are you going to do about it?
  • Sep 11, 2019, 01:35 PM
    honeybun35
    What can I do about it? I don't want him to think I know it was about me and my friend. I mean it obvious it is and I'm sure he did it for me to see but I have no idea what to say to that. The guy who name that was in the post said it was immature.
    I guess he knows it was for him and he told me trust me he went through my phone.
    Really what can I do? He will try to make it seem as it had nothing to do with that and we know it did.
  • Sep 11, 2019, 01:39 PM
    Wondergirl
    Why do you have to do anything about it? Learn from this that you need to be more careful with your phone, purse, and any other personal possessions.
  • Sep 12, 2019, 07:59 AM
    talaniman
    You seem to have enough facts to make the case he is WRONG for his behavior to make changes that work for you both should you decide too.
  • Sep 12, 2019, 06:34 PM
    Vacuum7
    honybun35: You can not be FWB with a man....no such thing.....I am a man and I can tell you that if a woman has a sexual encounter with a man, even if she thinks its "casual", there is a potential, with any man. for the man to not think of the encounter as a "casual" one.....we are weird that way.
  • Sep 13, 2019, 06:24 AM
    honeybun35
    we are not a couple he shouldn't of had that comfort.
  • Sep 13, 2019, 06:50 AM
    J_9
    It’s too late, he has already gone through your phone. You can’t turn back the hands of time.
  • Sep 13, 2019, 07:01 AM
    talaniman
    I don't think it was a matter of comfort, but one of opportunity that you provided him. You knew full well he was suspicious, you have said so several times, so it was only a matter of time and opportunity before he made a move to find out what the heck is going on with you, and with whom. Dissapointing as that is, did you have an opportunity to set the record straight and dispell the suspicions you KNEW he had?

    You certainly did. Maybe you both have gone to far substituting sex (FWB) with a real relationship. If you cannot see the stuff hitting the fan, let me assure you that it is and has been a long time coming. Want proof? Reread all your questions and it's always about him, and what he does, never about YOU, or what your doing. Big red flag you aren't owning your part which is half the mess.

    Get what I'm saying?
  • Sep 13, 2019, 07:15 AM
    honeybun35
    why would I ask a question of what I am doing? If the post are about him I don't need to ask about my self. I seen what coming him going in my phone. I never saw that coming we have spent several , numerous nights together and he has never done that. I rushed to use the restroom at a rest stop and he was on a call already with his son. I thought nothing of it. My phone was being charged. So how would I know he was going to do that. I know what questions that I've asked proof of what?
  • Sep 14, 2019, 07:10 AM
    talaniman
    People often react to what they think others are doing. Sometimes to understand the actions of others, you must examine your own, especially when they are so different than you expected. There is no substitute for honest communications between two people though. I have said that MANY times in MANY ways in all your questions about HIM.

    So what stops that HONEST communications?
  • Sep 16, 2019, 07:04 AM
    honeybun35
    what do you mean react to what others are doing?
  • Sep 16, 2019, 07:20 AM
    talaniman
    Are you not questioning his actions and behavior? You are reacting to them with questions and therefore my statement.

    Quote:

    Sometimes to understand the actions of others, you must examine your own, especially when they are so different than you expected. There is no substitute for honest communications between two people though. I have said that MANY times in MANY ways in all your questions about HIM.

    So what stops that HONEST communications?

    ??
  • Sep 16, 2019, 07:26 AM
    honeybun35
    When i get a chance. He is always busy. Yesterday I text him he didn't text back. So I replied you must be busy just saying hi. So after that like hour or so he text me he was in a pool tournament. I waited to this morning and said gm oh ok. then I text him are you ok? he said just busy. So now I won't text him anymore or try to attempt to text him since he is busy.

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