Can I break the NC rules under these circumstances...
Its interesting to be back on this forum once again for relationship issues in my life, lol, but at the same time it shows how great this forum has been to me , the proof being that I have chosen to come back :)
SO.. new story... I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years just last month (36 days ago to be exact). I'm 31 and she's 25... we were seeing each other practically every day, and never got tired of eachother:We felt a strong connection, strong love, and great comfort, amazing. But, if felt like there was always a trust issue going on, the first year I had a hard time trusting her, for good reasons, then the last 6 months it was vice versa, for good reasons too. Maybe this is why we got so addicted to each other feeling like we needed to see each other every day and night.
However when she had her moments of jealousy or anger, she would really go crazy on me (this happened about 3 times total), throwing things and breaking my valuables, trying to hit me etc. I knew that those acts were unnaceptable and that it would be a problem for my future if I were to stay with her, so I had doubts for a while, but kept it going with positive hopes, I guess. Until finally...
One late night, I was a bit upset at her and changed plans on her, voluntarily deciding not to go over to her home but instead to go to my home by myself. And I asked her to please not come by. She felt like I was cheating on her and was going home with another girl, supposedly, and so she decided to come by regardless.. I opened the door, she was trying to open by herself, and let her in. To make a long story short, she basically went crazy on me again, throwing my TV from the table and all! I was so upset and felt threatened that I knew that this was the moment to end it for good, and so I did. She realized that It was for real this time, it clicked in her head so she got sad and shortly after I asked her politely to please leave, then she came to her senses and left in peace.
I was so upset the last month that it was easy to get by, just an occasional thought of her here and there. I know for a fact that she was upset too for how I broke up with her, thanks to friends. Now it feels as thought the storm has settled. I don't care about the material things that she broke, they can be replaced. And I wouldn't even want her to pay for them even though I told her so on the night of the incident. But one part of me obviously still loves her and really wished that at least we could be somewhat in good terms... perhaps to be able to turn a negative into a positive...
I would love to see her and hopefully be able to talk to her. I don't even know if she would want to, but I havent' tried asking yet.
Would this be a bad move? Completely unnecessary? Or could it possible be a potentially nice thing where we would have to move on still but at least know that we are cool with each other?
Just need to clarify things a bit, emotions are surely getting in the way right now...
Thank you