Originally Posted by
joypulv
Is he the father of the new life, the child?
Two years is an eternity in some ways, yet I don't think it's that long when you are grieving. I'm all for grieving, and have done it, and still am in ways, as I know others here have and are. I don't see that it has to be detrimental to the growth of your child either. Be sure to take deep breaths throughout the day, because we tend to breath too shallowly when depressed, and that makes it worse. I like to be up before the sun because (for me) the change in the sky helps. Talk to him out loud as you do things he liked to do or see things he might like, and laugh a bit about it. Have a shrine-spot somewhere, on top of a bookcase or outside under a tree, with mementos and perhaps a shrub or some bulbs. Ritual helps some people (not I so much). Wear his slippers. Write a biography about him. Make a list of his sayings and favorite jokes. I suppose in a way all of that is a ritual of some sort.
OH! And don't buy into that whole 'closure' bit. I have no idea who invented that concept, but I think it's destructive. You are now a different person because of your loss, and you have incorporated what happened into this new you, and his memory is a large part of you. If you had been mugged or in an airplane crash, sure, work on closure. But you aren't closing anything on him.
