Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Personal Growth (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=250)
-   -   Can you go from gay to straight? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=756500)

  • Jul 3, 2013, 01:25 AM
    cookie413
    Can you go from gay to straight?
    There's this guy I have feelings for, but not too long ago I found out he was gay. It really did make me sad and disappointed but I'm wondering if there's any chance he can turn straight or at least bisexual?
  • Jul 3, 2013, 01:31 AM
    tickle
    It has happened, is all I can say.
  • Jul 3, 2013, 01:32 AM
    J_9
    Can you turn gay or bisexual?

    Being gay is not like waking up in the morning and deciding on what clothes you wear. You can't just get up and say "hey, I think I'll be gay today, bisexual on Tuesday and straight on Wednesday."

    It's not a choice, it is how a person is born. They can deny it all they want, if they want, but it is still part of who they are.
  • Jul 3, 2013, 02:02 AM
    joypulv
    Statistically, there is a snowball's chance in hell that he will change his SEXUAL preference.

    But you will find as you get older that being gay doesn't mean people can't love people of the opposite sex, because love has an infinite variety. So don't constrain your friendship with a gay guy based on an idea that nothing can develop between you two.
    I know a gay teen boy who was heartbroken when his best friend (girl) spent the night with his brother. Oprah told the world on her TV show that she held a gay male friend in her arms all night after his lover was swept away in a tsunami. Many a married man, with children, goes through a lot of grief when he realizes that he was gay all along, and doesn't want to hurt his family. (I know of no gay men who went straight, however, except from what I hear about parents who force their children into religious conversion camps.)
  • Jul 3, 2013, 02:28 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    No, a person does not just change, they are, what they are. Can you become gay or lesbian just by wanting ? No,
  • Jul 3, 2013, 04:45 AM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Being gay is not like waking up in the morning and deciding on what clothes you wear. You can't just get up and say "hey, I think I'll be gay today, bisexual on Tuesday and straight on Wednesday."

    It's not a choice, it is how a person is born. They can deny it all they want, if they want, but it is still part of who they are.


    Very, very, very, very well stated!
  • Jul 3, 2013, 05:03 AM
    N0help4u
    YOU can not change them
  • Jul 3, 2013, 05:04 AM
    Oliver2011
    And furthermore who says he wants to be changed? Hopefully he is very content with who he is.
  • Jul 3, 2013, 05:17 AM
    N0help4u
    J_9 is right one does not just wake up one day all of a sudden with a different sexual preference. I do know a lot of gays and lesbians that 'became' that way through years of bad relationships with the opposite sex. But for you to wait around dreaming that maybe someday... don't waste your time. I have a better chance of waiting around dreaming that one day some person will put a million bucks in my hand,
  • Jul 3, 2013, 05:33 AM
    NeedKarma
    Some Christians say you can pray the gay away by going to some sort of counseling. I am not making this up.
  • Jul 3, 2013, 05:57 AM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NeedKarma View Post
    Some Christians say you can pray the gay away by going to some sort of counseling. I am not making this up.

    The largest of these groups, name escapes me, is based here in Central Florida. They just closed their doors and the minister who ran it has apologized for all the harm he has caused the gay community.
  • Jul 3, 2013, 06:03 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    The largest of these groups, name escapes me, is based here in Central Florida. They just closed their doors and the minister who ran it has apologized for all the harm he has caused the gay community.

    Michele Bachman's husband Marcus has a "pray away the gay" Christian counseling clinic, Bachman & Associates, in Minnesota.
  • Jul 3, 2013, 06:16 AM
    joypulv
    Exodus International in Olrando, FL.
    Founded in 1976, folded less than a month ago.
    The president of the Christian non-profit (with revenues of over a million each year) told a gay conference a year or two ago that 99.9% of gays don't convert.
    He was the one who was instrumental in closing the organization.
  • Jul 3, 2013, 06:25 AM
    N0help4u
    Yes Oliver, because no person or Church can turn a gay straight, they have to have it in their heart that they want to make a change. Her wanting him to change because she is interested will not change him,
  • Jul 3, 2013, 06:51 AM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Exodus International in Olrando, FL.
    Founded in 1976, folded less than a month ago.
    The president of the Christian non-profit (with revenues of over a million each year) told a gay conference a year or two ago that 99.9% of gays don't convert.
    He was the one who was instrumental in closing the organization.

    It was founded by Alan Chambers. I know Alan and his family/parents. They went to my church when I was a child.
  • Jul 3, 2013, 07:03 AM
    joypulv
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    It was founded by Alan Chambers. I know Alan and his family/parents. They went to my church when I was a child.

    Would you say he's not really a horrible person, just misguided?

    (He was 4 when the organization was founded. I don't know when he became president. Although married with adopted children, he openly talks about being gay or struggling with it.)
  • Jul 3, 2013, 07:26 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Yes Oliver, because no person or Church can turn a gay straight, they have to have it in their heart that they want to make a change.

    I disagree. I don't believe a gay person can literally change over to straight (or vice versa). He is what he is. A gay guy can date women and marry and have children but deep down inside he is still gay. My lesbian sil dated guys and did her best to be straight, but it didn't work. She finally was true to herself, and she and her partner have now been together for over 30 years.
  • Jul 3, 2013, 07:36 AM
    N0help4u
    I have seen all kinds the least percentage being gays going straight but it has happenef even if it is 2%
  • Jul 3, 2013, 07:39 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    I have seen all kinds the least percentage being gays going straight but it has happenef even if it is 2%

    Then he wasn't gay in the first place.
  • Jul 3, 2013, 07:46 AM
    N0help4u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Then he wasn't gay in the first place.

    So you are saying that a guy that lived all his life gay came to God and asked God to change him, no pressure from the church, god doesn't change them? Most probably do struggle but I have heard the testimony of a small percent that did move on and thank God for their new life

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:34 PM.