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-   -   Over society (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=166386)

  • Dec 28, 2007, 12:21 AM
    chris36
    Over society
    Hi. 1 year ago I was bashed in a restaurant & then shortly after, due to my anger from the incident, I was rude to a close female friend, who then in turn decided to put an Intervention Order [restraining order] against me, for a verbal argument ! She made up lies to get it ! Since then I hate society. I quit my job. I don't go out much. I am having thoughts of revenge & I am not coping. What happened to me, especially the bashing.. I didn't deserve this. I have been to counselling. Cant' cope. Through this whole chain of events, I don't want to be here anymore! I was bashed by a group of ethnics. I am an Australian. I am so racist now. Why did this happen? This has made me into an angry person with no reason to live now and over society, groups of idiots who bash, violence...
  • Dec 28, 2007, 12:27 AM
    oneguyinohio
    If your seeking an explanation of why this happened to you, it might be better to just accept that it did happen, and try to plan what you will do from this point forward. Things happen to us in life that should not. It does not make them right, and we have no control over changing what has already happened. Would you like to work toward helping prevent those things from happening to others? Would you like to start some other goals? If you could do anything in the world what would it be? Can you think of a first step toward achieving that dream?
  • Dec 28, 2007, 12:29 AM
    Clough
    Hello, chris36!

    How long have you been in counseling?
  • Dec 28, 2007, 12:45 AM
    chris36
    I have goals, new job outlook in the future, but I am not coping with seeing people, counselling and going out in public. Only time I like going out now is getting drunk at home, going out, dancing, drinking and if anyone touches me now, I have zero tolerance. I have lashed out at everyone that stands in my way. I was nice in the past, friendly, happy, free.. but now my first response is anger. And I will use it .
  • Dec 28, 2007, 12:47 AM
    JoeCanada76
    Well you need real counseling. Not a drink, that is not the solution. If your not willing to accept the past and move on to a brighter future. That is your choice. Anger management classes are a must.
  • Dec 28, 2007, 12:48 AM
    Clough
    Again, how long have you been in counseling, please?
  • Dec 28, 2007, 12:52 AM
    chris36
    Counselling.. 1 session.. hmm.. really doesn't help.
    I am a smart guy. One day I will just look at it differently.
    Signing off . Over it
  • Dec 28, 2007, 01:06 AM
    oneguyinohio
    I can hear your anger, and hope you will try to avoid lashing out at others because of your past. If you are too quick to strike, you may find yourself in a real problem in the future with the law and even more problems with people. If you let the past incident control you, then you are responsible for that choice, and will suffer as a consequence.

    I am concerned that you may not see things as others do, but only from your perspective. Without knowing more about what led to the bashing, or if your anger stems from that incident exactly... I wonder if your being fun loving, carefree etc may have led you to do something that the group of people took offense at... leading them to target you?

    I'm not making accusations of it being your fault, just asking you what led you to that place at that time, how were you behaving toward the girl and others, and what made you rude to the girl after the incident?

    Take some responsibility for yourself, and quit blaming others for your feelings. Your own thoughts determine how you feel.
  • Dec 28, 2007, 01:37 AM
    Clough
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by chris36
    Hi. 1 year ago I was bashed in a restaurant & then shortly after, due to my anger from the incident, I was rude to a close female friend, who then in turn decided to put an Intervention Order [restraining order] against me, for a verbal argument ! She made up lies to get it ! Since then I hate society. I quit my job. I don't go out much. I am having thoughts of revenge & I am not coping. What happened to me, especially the bashing.. I didn't deserve this. I have been to counselling. Cant' cope. Through this whole chain of events, I don't want to be here anymore! I was bashed by a group of ethnics. I am an Australian. I am so racist now. Why did this happen? This has made me into an angry person with no reason to live now and over society, groups of idiots who bash, violence...

    Originally Posted by Clough
    Again, how long have you been in counseling, please?

    Originally Posted by chris36
    Counselling.. 1 session.. hmm.. really doesn't help.
    I am a smart guy. One day I will just look at it differently.
    Signing off . Over it
    Thank you for answering my question! Yes, one session of counseling for deep-rooted problems usually doesn't help. The first session is usually just a time for you and the counselor to get introduced to each other and to discuss the possibilities as to what the goals and objectives will be in some and as a result of upcoming sessions.

    The process to discover and/or uncover and learn proactive rather than reactive strategies to cope with problems that a person has can take months or even years.

    Years ago, I was in counseling for anger management, family problems and self-abusive behavior. The process of counseling that I went through took a number of years. I was reluctant to and didn't like going to counseling at first. It wasn't long though, before I began to look forward to and love the sessions that I was attending because finally I was learning how to cope! It was working! A person can speak with family, friends or even strangers on the Internet to try to figure out problems. But, sometimes it takes the knowledge and expertise of a professional counselor to do any good.

    Because I don't really know all that much about you or your life situation, I can't and won't assume things about you by posting what I think are the roots of your problems here and how to just fix them yourself. That wouldn't be fair to you. Frequently, it can take a great deal of time, especially on a site such as this, to really know what is going on with a person. In situations such as yours, there usually are no pat answers. I am sure that you are a smart guy, as you say. And, I'm sure that you will look at things differently someday. However, you may need some help in order to achieve looking at things in a positive light.

    I look forward to continued dialogue with you!
  • Dec 30, 2007, 09:21 AM
    N0help4u
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