Long Distance Relationship for 4 years - (possible) feelings for a local person
I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years...
During this time, this girl has been my world... Everything has revolved around her...
We visit about 4 weeks every year, and she keeps promising me she will join me where I live. But when I get on her about it, she skirts the subject... We are both on permanent disability... We don't work in a traditional sense... So I do not understand what would be keeping her where she is, particularly when I am willing to pay her way to move up here.
My Girlfriend and I are both Transgender by the way...
Recently, I began attending a local support group for Transgender people...
Seemingly out of the blue, I have been having feelings for someone else at the support group... And now I am conflicted, upset, and confused...
I don't know why I suddenly started having these feelings, but I know I have them. They are probably nothing, but I feel I would not be having them for no good reason.
And these feelings have opened up cans of worms regarding my relationship with my girlfriend. I have needs for physical affection and companionship, which do not go away after my girlfriend's visits are over.
She claims she wants to spend the rest of her life with me, but by her actions, it seems she cannot be bothered to spend one month out of every year with me.
I need to sort my feelings out, figure out what's what, preferably without burning any of my bridges.
I hate that I am having these feelings... I can't shake them... I just cannot get this other person off my mind... and I feel like a horrible person... I love my girlfriend very much... but I am increasingly finding the state of our relationship unacceptable... I've made her a priority... she treats me like a hobby.
Another problem is, my girlfriend is very sensitive... she's had a lot of trauma in her life... to where I feel I cannot criticize her. She has also stated that if she ever loses me, she will likely commit suicide.
Lately I am crying myself to sleep every night... and a fair portion of the day. I'm bawling my eyes out as I type this.
I don't know what's going on or what I should do. I'm sorry for rambling, but I feel all jumbled up inside.
I would appreciate any advice anyone could give me.