Ask Me Help Desk - Crazy dream

I am a straight male and a dedicated Christian. Recently I had a dream where I I was talking to an old friend of mine (male) and I chose to embrace him tightly from behind. We were both shirtless. As I held him I got an erection. We were sitting down and I knew he could it against his lower back but he didn't seem to mind. I whispered some questions in his ear about how he felt, he just sort of shrugged. I sat there with him and then I had an orgasm. With that, the dream ended.

Help? I'm one messed up cracker.

Typo- *he could FEEL it against his lower back*

No, people have all sorts of dreams, that is it, it is just a dream we get ideas from TV, movies, and other things, the activies we hear about.

Dreams don't mean we want to do the things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

no, people have all sorts of dreams, that is it, it is just a dream we get ideas from TV, movies, and other things, the activies we hear about.

Dreams don't mean we want to do the things.

Thanks for the response. The dream was vividly lucid. I had total control over what I was doing. I chose to do it. I don't watch TV, I am careful about what movies I watch, and I have never heard of anyone ever engaging in this specific activity.

Not "just a dream". I need better input.

I agree. I do think that SOME dreams can mean something, but there are dreams like these that don't mean anything. I have crazy sex dreams all the time. One reocurring one is when I am actually a guy and having sex with a female... but I know myself and my sexuality and that that dream does not mean that I want to be a man. I have many other crazy ones that spook me out, but I know that, as fr_chuck said, it just has to do with getting ideas from things we see.

Quote:

Originally Posted by southerngalps

i agree. i do think that SOME dreams can mean something, but there are dreams like these that don't mean anything. i have crazy sex dreams all the time. one reocurring one is when i am actually a guy and having sex with a female...but i know myself and my sexuality and that that dream does not mean that i want to be a man. i have many other crazy ones that spook me out, but i know that, as fr_chuck said, it just has to do with getting ideas from things we see.

Thanks southerngal, but I didn't get that idea from anything I saw. I am careful about the things I expose myself to. This idea came from me. I produced this scenerio somehow while I was sleeping. Unless I can consider my brain a separate entity, the dream should be able to reveal something about me. So I continue to search, and the dream continues to bother me.

Found this from a Google search... it sounds like you are truly doubting yourself... you might have to do some soul searching...

Just because you are christian, doesn't mean that you can't be gay.

Question: Does a Same Sex ,Sex Dream Make Me Gay?

Answer:

At some point in their lives most folks will have a sexy dream or two. Now if some of those dreams involve someone of the same sex, does this mean that you are GLBT?

The answer is going to be different for every individual. For some folks same sex, sex dreams might be your subconscious trying to tell you something. For other people, these dreams might be representing something totally different. Maybe you are feeling close to someone of the same sex, or have an issue with a person that needs to be resolved.
People have dreams every night that they don't understand. If you think your sleeping mind might be trying to tell you something, it might be a good idea to see how you feel exploring same sex feelings when you are awake.

If possible, try not to worry about it too much!

You may want to confront directly your homosexual urges. That does not mean that you are a homosexual, necessarily. I think virtually all human beings have homosexual urges at one time or another.

Don't make a big deal out of this while you don't understand fully your sexuality. :)

Thanks for the responses. I am not "gay" I know that. Women are gorgeous and someday I hope to have one of my own. I can see incredible beauty though in both males and females. In this natural world (rather than the dream world) I can tell when a man is attractive, can't we all? The human body is amazing. Holding him in my dream made me feel really good. His skin was soft and warm. I didn't care that we were both guys I just wanted to hold him tightly against me forever.

Honestly, in real life I find homosexuality (especially anal sex) absolutely repulsive. I couldn't make it 10 seconds as a queer without feeling sick to my stomoch. I don't like the way homos act with their feminine body gestures and speech. One day I was in class a couple years ago and a homo tried hitting on me. It was one of the most awkward things I have ever experienced.

The dream was so idealized though. We cared about each other and his body was beautiful. Nothing else mattered as I held him close.

Your input is helping me to think about this and come to grips with it. I am just trying to understand some things about myself and human nature in general.

Well to clear things up for you a little dreams can mean ANYTHING. Some sections of psychology go into great detail in trying to interpit dreams. My guess is that this really has nothing to do with sex or being gay and that maybe your just missing some of the manly bonds you used to have with guy friends ( poker night, beer pong =O or whatever it is you do ) or maybe you lost an important male figure in your life?

It really could be ANYTHING. Like what was said in an above post everyone at one point or another have these whacky dreams or thoughts at some point. It does not mean your gay or even intrested just curious. Our minds do some weird things don't look into this too much. You might make a bigger deal out of it than it is.

One last thing your stero-typing gay people in your post not ALL gay guys try to sound girlish or act feminine in any way. Take last night for example I was at a halloween party I played about 8 games of beer pong and 1 with a guy who seemed like a very intresting person. Later that night he told me he was gay. I had NO idea what so ever before he told me. He seemed like a regular joe and was rather intellectual just goes to show you that most of those things are from media.

Pine, Many dreams are not just interpreted solely by what happens... they are symbolic and a person has to understand him/herself to interpret a dream.

For example, one interpretation of your dream could be that each individual in the dream represents yourself. That is very likely.

The dream does have a sexual feeling about it. What it means is for you to explore and determine. :)

Don't panic and label yourself anything, you are young and growing in all ways...

When you have dreams that you may like the same gender it means that in fact you are completely straight it could have just been a ton of different thoughts mixed together! Our minds can get crazy!
Don't worry forget and move on,
Advice Girly

If we wanted to really do everything our dreams portray, I would have been eaten by a very awful wolfman type creature, flown into a building, without a plane, and gave a giant snake weak, harmless karate chops while it was swallowing my brother.

I know nothing about analyzing dreams...

But its just a dream... weird stuff can happen in dreams. I wouldn't worry about it.

Nobody understands dreams.

I have never been rejected by a girl in a dream, won a super bowl AND world cup (MVP in both).

Don't sweat this too much.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pineappledeluxe

Honestly, in real life I find homosexuality (especially anal sex) absolutely repulsive. I couldn't make it 10 seconds as a queer without feeling sick to my stomoch. I don't like the way homos act with their feminine body gestures and speech. One day I was in class a couple years ago and a homo tried hitting on me. It was one of the most awkward things I have ever experienced.

as far as dreams go, they are not generally subject to literal interpretation. I grew up surrounded by psychologists, and I am somewhat familiar with dream interpretation. The first question I've always heard asked when beginning to interpret a dream is, "how did it make you feel?". This applies for the way you felt within the dream, as well as the way you felt when you woke up. While there are certain things in dream analysis that are generally considered symbols of certain things, it is certainly not a perfect science. The fact is that the best person to analyze your dreams is you.

to be perfectly honest, I found what you said about homosexuals to be really offensive and rather hateful. Perhaps this shouldn't have surprised me, as you were rather offensive to one of the women who posted in your other thread, as you pointed out, specifically because she is a woman.

I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I have read all of your posts in the two threads you've put up, and there are some things that concern me about your tone. These are just a couple of my personal thoughts; if you don't agree, then you're free to hold your own opinion. However, I would be surprised if I were the first person to tell you these things.

first of all, there's a bit of real condescension to them. While you do say please and thank you, there's something between your words that feels rather odd. I feel like I can't put my finger exactly on it, but there is something weird in there.

it sounds like you think you're very special, which, on the one hand, can be a good thing. We're all special. But feeling like you're so special that other people can never understand you, or that you're better than everyone else because of it, is not a healthy way to live in a social world. What's ironic is that you're also extremely hard on yourself. You don't need to be so hard on yourself, you know. It is entirely possible to reach your personal goals without giving yourself a beating before you reach the finish line. I don't think these are good qualities if they're getting in your way, emotionally or in your relationships with other people, and I'm guessing that they're getting in your way. I have taken liberties with my observations here, but you might want to consider them just the same.

one more thing. It sounds like you're not satisfied with the responses you've gotten that tell you that your homoerotic dream does not mean that you're a homosexual. Would you prefer it if they were telling you the opposite? I don't think the dream makes you gay. However, your desire to read more and more into the intimacy between you and this friend is more of a sign to me that you want to believe there's more to your dream than just random thoughts. Have you considered that you are in need of more male intimacy, and not on a physical level?

I am not proud as you seem to be suggesting. I tell it like it is. I am and have always been different from most people around me. It's not good or bad, that's just the hand I've been dealt. I told you my feelings about queers and every word of it was true. When I open my mouth I make it count. You won't get the normal fluff and filler from me. I'm sorry if you find that offensive but life is too short for anything else.

Also, I respect and admire women greatly, mostly for their beauty. I just don't think women can understand men as well as men can understand men. This is not unreasonable and you should not find it offensive.

I am not especially hard on myself either. I just search constantly for understanding and sanity in this world, and sometimes when I am utterly confused I will go out of my way to ask for help. I thank you for yours.

A person can "tell it like it is" from their perspective and still talk junk... and stating you don't give the "normal fluff and filler" means you judge the norm to be less genuine than you, and that does carry a tone to it.

I'm unsure of what answer will satiate you, and I'm not sure you'll accept anything less than what you've perhaps preconceived.

This dream can mean absolutely nothing at all.

Some would say a dream in which a heterosexual man dreams about a homosexual attraction with desire can simply be symbolic of self acceptance, comfort in your own sexuality, a perception of self love without any real connection to homosexual actions in real life. Sex dreams can be literal, or completely unrelated to sex, so generalizations about what does this mean for you are difficult to answer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pineappledeluxe

Thanks for the responses. I am not "gay" I know that. Women are gorgeous and someday I hope to have one of my own. I can see incredible beauty though in both males and females. In this natural world (rather than the dream world) I can tell when a man is attractive, can't we all? The human body is amazing. Holding him in my dream made me feel really good. His skin was soft and warm. I didn't care that we were both guys I just wanted to hold him tightly against me forever.

Honestly, in real life I find homosexuality (especially anal sex) absolutely repulsive. I couldn't make it 10 seconds as a queer without feeling sick to my stomoch. I don't like the way homos act with their feminine body gestures and speech. One day I was in class a couple years ago and a homo tried hitting on me. It was one of the most awkward things I have ever experienced.

The dream was so idealized though. We cared about each other and his body was beautiful. Nothing else mattered as I held him close.

Your input is helping me to think about this and come to grips with it. I am just trying to understand some things about myself and human nature in general.

Ok, as I am posting this I am so WAY reminding myself that you are dealing with some very sexually confusing thoughts and also remind myself of some things I went through at one time. But I got to tell you straight out that your so way off base if you really think that being feminine looking, acting, speaking, etc. is a common trait of gay men! If anything, especially now, the most masculine, studly, athletic type of guys are much more likely to be the gay ones. But you usually learn the hard way not to label from looks. I am Bi, I suppose, but all through HS I played around with half the guys in my school, most were athletes that liked to party quite heavy from time to time, football players, and even the soccer coach (after I was "18", of course... )and none were the fem-wimpy guys that we always picked on. All these jocks were calling people "homos" then sleeping over at my house, and as long as they had been drinking, and there was no kissing involved, they were up for it all pretty much, then the next day say "Man I was wasted last night, I don't remember anything! lol
And for a long time, because of how I was raised, I would always be sick afterwords, from all the guilt that came from being told that almost everything was wrong, sinful, and you would in eternal damnation for even thinking about it, that was just as bad as doing it! It took many years to realize I had nothing to apologize for, you can't hate the product without hating it's creator, and like it or not, I am as I was created to be, I never had a choice in the matter...Not even after wasting 6 years in a loveless marriage. And NO ONE was put here for the sole purpose of ignorantly standing in judgment of others, that no doubt is a far worse act than any of the ones I ever performed. But you can't hold resentment against people that just didn't know any better, that would be judging them for something they couldn't help.
As for the dream, that's perfectly normal, and nothing to lose sleep over. In fact studies have shown that of all the men that identify themselves to be heterosexual, 70% of them had at least one same sex experience of some kind at some point in their lives! And all those guys I played around with in HS all ended up married with children, and probably divorced, and married again. Which just goes to show you that "labels" are almost always misleading...
Aaron9nAtl

You're just curious. Quit worrying about it. Find yourself a man and try it. Only then can you KNOW. After all, you didn't know if you liked pizza until you tasted it for the first time.