Boundaries and Co-dependence
My younger sister just moved into town. Her daughter is a single mother with two small children. Her daughter just found a job that requires her to work weekends, her daughter relies on her as the primary babysitter - even if she has to ask her at the last minute or if someone changes their plans and decides not to babysit. Her hours vary and she often works up to 12 hours a day.
Recently my sister asked her three sisters including myself to help her by rotating babysitting days.
I told her that I would pray about it. My other sister asked her details like how long a commitment she was asking for and the work hours and so on.
When my younger sister read this (email) she blew up, pretty much forgetting all that we've done to help in the past.
We come from a large family with alcoholic parents, needless to say we are all dealing with issues like co-dependance, enabling and boundaries.
Personally, I am working on identifying and setting my boundaries. Also, checking my co-dependance issues and tendency to enable.
Right now I have conflicting feelings - on the one hand, I feel constantly manipulated by my family to commit to situations I later regret. Secondly I feel guilty for not immediately agreeing help my niece who is in need.
I have always agreed to anything my family asks. My life becomes a mess because I am busy pleasing everyone. I neglect my house and my health. The same thing happens at work sometimes. I am trying very hard to work on my boundaries. :(
Boundaries and Co-dependence
Just ask yourself this one thing - who's problem is it?? Think its your nieces...
You go girl, you are certainly moving in the right direction, believe in yourself and your own needs.
All the best.